Worried....School and palpatations

[onlycrazygal]

just been in court recently , the ss are now on the LEA s case highlighting their lack of

supporting my sons educational needs...(refusing to assess him) the court has given them 28 days to submit a statement to

the courts as to how they intend to meet his needs and how are they going to achieve this.

My son has been a school refuser since he was 6 and it has got progressively worse,he is now 12, just recently the ss have said that in order to get the LEA to assess him he must get on role at a designated high school. I have disputed this but the LEA ignored me and ss are simply saying thats the way it is....

My son has just recently been pushed to the state of complete catatonia, distressed and upset.

Today he has been complaining of frequent heart palpatations he is down and dreading tomorrow.

Anyone got any advice as i am worried i am doing untold damage to my own son under to pressure and watchful eyes of all concerned.

thanks

OCG

[Clare63]

I am assuming that they are expecting him to go to school in the morning, if this is the case then I am not surprised he is feeling this way and no doubt you don't feel much better either. I can totally empathise with you feeling worried about the damage being done to your son, I think its already quite clear his confidence and self esteem is very low, why can't the pro's see this. Education can be learnt at any stage in in our lives but once self esteem is crushed it can effect a life time. I was lucky my GP has signed my son off sick from school, he was so angry at the lack of support and understanding my son was receiving and could see that both our son, my DH and I were all at breaking point. To me it seems that your LEA have got in their head that they are not going to back down and are treating this as some sort game which they are not prepared to lose, even if it means destroying a family and a young man's life.

I wish I had the answers for you.

Stay strong.

 

Clare x x x

[onlycrazygal]

<'> Thanks clare,

your words are appreciated, i know you are going through it yourself hun....

im beginning to think the LEA think they are above the law....v beep beeps...

 

OCG

[Clare63]

Your very Welcome..... just wish I could do or say more, its all so frustrating and makes me sooooooo angry. I have been following your "nightmare" and am appaulled at how badly you and your son have been treated. I can certainly see some simularities and I could one day be in the same situation as you.

keep fighting and don't let them get the better of you.

<'> <'> <'>

Clare x x x

[JsMum]

I would take your son to the GP and request that he be signed off sick or a letter to the EWO that he can not learn in this state, the LEA can assess in the home though I didnt know this until recently, or they can provide a unit to do the assessment.

 

I would not put your son throw the emotional and mental upset, a mentally ill person is not forced into work, they are signed off sick.

 

Your child is no different.

 

NAS Education helpline can also advice you too as well as the ACE. NETWORK 81 and IPSEA. All excellent.

 

Have you also tried YOUNGMINDS TOO they have outreach worker now in some areas of the uk.

 

JsMum

[onlycrazygal]

Took son to GP today explained high anxiety levels, how he

feels so scared he cant move, how hes running to the loo every two mins,

how hes having frequent palpatations and how he didnt sleep till 5.15am

this morning.

Couldnt believe what his solution was....he wanted to send me back to

the very same CAMHS doc that labeled me a fabricator. I said no thank you

I dont think i will get very far with that consultant. So GP said well i dont think there s

much else I can do....

So thats that .....full circle once more...

 

OCG

[Clare63]

OCG,

Well that was no help what so ever, what an idiot "i don't think there is much else I can do " ?????? firstly he could have signed him off sick and secondly he could have referred you to a paedarician rather than CAMHS. I am sure you are entitled to a second opinion.

Again both you and your son are being let down, perhaps you could chagnge GP's or ask to see a different one, I don't mean to be rude but are you asking the right questions, being direct etc, I am sure you are, but it seems to me these proffesionals don't seem to understand what you ares aying or requesting. Time I think to lay your cards on the table and say my son is ill, these are his syptoms, I want you sign him off school to give him and us the time and space to recover and sort this situation out.

DON'T GIVE UP AND DON'T LET THEM FOB YOU OFF.

Clare x x x

[onlycrazygal]

hi clare ,

no your not being rude at all, i de-registered my son back in dec 2005 my son

was suffering the very same symptoms then only he was also experiencing panic attacks.

We were being threatened with court from the LEA if i didnt get him in school and the SS

was threatening us with the child protection register for the same reason, at the same time.

I challenged the "authorities" to try and get him into school themselves, as previously they

had failed miserably.

On top of this i am disabled with fibromyalgia syndrome (chronic pain/fatigue condition, single parent)

so i tried to make them see that it was physically impossible for me too physically force

him into school as he, at that time matched me in height and weight. The response i recieved

was....its not our problem.

As you can imagine it was a highly stressful situation and i pushed my son too far

and he began panicing and vomiting.

It was then i told SS what was happening, their reply was...we dont care if he panics or vomits

you must get him into school.

It was then i said no more, I deregistered him as they displayed blatent disregard for my sons emotional wellbeing.

The next day a case conference was called as they stated i couldnt possibly give him an adequate education whilst i had FMS, also accused me of purposely isolating him from his peers and fabricating his difficulties, based upon the observational non-diagnosis of the local Camhs doctor.

I sought an independant opinion from a consultant that actually specialised in asd s and sure enough my son was aspie/tourettes, add etc etc

They wouldnt take the diagnosis seriously as the doc was private and i paid for his service, so my sol

asked an independant chartered ed psyche from london to assess C, her findings corresponded with the independant consultant. Cs coding and comprehension test scores, were extremely low 2 and 5 his IQ 74 and a reading age of 15 when he was 10....this inconsistancy does flag up a communication disorder.

his perception of school was extremely negative his self esteem bottom 5% writing letters and numbers from bottom to top, from left to right. She asked him if he would talk about the problems he had at school.

C said I cant do that ....ask me questions an i will be able to tell you. He told her about how he couldnt sit still in class an how he had to do certain things or think certain thoughts over an over. Couldnt concentrate on the teacher and was getting told off for moving about.So he said he kept it in an it was very hard and waited till breaktime so he could go into the yard and release his tics an scream an shout, but thats when the bullies would come. It ended up where he had to hide his problems not only from the teacher but from his peers. His way of coping was to slink off into the toilets to release his tics, it had sadly become something of a secret that he was ashamed and embarrassed about. My main problem with education has always been that C is overly compliant in a class setting, therefore all they see is a model pupil and a crazy mother..... Ed psyche recommends extremely cautious well thought out re-intergration into a special needs unit, will need constant one to one.

 

However the LEA are not considering her extensive report, as she isnt a ed psyche from the local authority. Now I find C s part time tutor from recent months is flagging up possible dyspraxia, dyslexia, can read as well as an adult but doesnt understand what he has read. etc etc etc

Anyone know how much SALT and Occupational therapy tests are done privately ?

sorry for waffling lol

OCG

 

[JsMum]

DYLEXIA ACTION can do assessments and there is bursary funds for low income, J has had an assessment and diagnosed as SEVERE Dyslexia, yet on the LEA he is registered as DYSLEXIA PRofile, given 30mins per week that is it, he needs more than that, he can not read at the level he is suppose to.

 

I would look into Dyslexia Action and look where the nearest centre is.

 

All your reports that you have done privately can be used as evidence in a tribunal, so if you where to find a specialist school you could attend a tribunal to get the panel to consider your child to attend a spercific school.

 

I would contact IPSEA and Mencap as they also help with AS and Learning Difficulties.

 

I would also get further advice from PALS and see if there is anyone can do anything from the NHS point there is also NHSDRIECT who may also help to give you further support reguarding school and your sons Anxiety.

 

JsMum

[onlycrazygal]

HI,

Quick update guys,

Son was shown round the high school they want him to integrate into on wednesday, the

school is huge 1,082 i think, there are so many blocks, yards , libraries, towers with 3 floors , 3 receptions.

If only they would have done it differently, i knew what the lady was saying wasnt registering

with him at all. Course he was his super compliant self, stuck to one word answers, i tried with all my heart to

remain positive. But at times i could have cried for him.

 

Friday came, c was expected to attend for 1 hour as part of his integration. He refused, both myself and ss manager

gave it a full half hour. Then she said if you dont go i will take your Nintendo wii with me....

He said Take it....So She did, adding you dont mind do you p i will bring it back on monday morning.Iwasnt sure if she

was joking or what so nodded ....

Shes due back in the morning, god knows what will happen now....ive decided that c will not be punished anymore

for being himself and fearing the school enviroment.

Its about time the LEA did what they should have done 3 years ago, instead of leaving him to it. He needs these assessments badly, punishing him is the wrong approach.

 

OCG