advice needed desperately

[joybed]

My 12 year old moved up to comprehensive in September we wre very apprehensive about whether it was the right move for him but decided to give it a go. The frist few weeks were OK but then things have gone from bad to worse. We are having major behavioural problems at home instead of gradually building up a meltdown he just goes from calm to screaming in 1 second. He is agin biting himself to the point he is drawing blood. Showing aggression towards his siblings, not sleeping, telling evryone who will listen his stepfather is abusing him physically to such an extent that my Mum was going to ring social services last week. He is having meltdowns at school in front of other children and in the street. His behaviour is very odd to say the least. Tonight we have found out he has been drinking water from the drain pipe have tried to explain how odd this is and that he could end up ill but doesn,t appear to understand. He has also admitted he has been biting and hitting other children. I am worried someone is going to give him a damn good hiding and to be honest I don,t think I would blame them. Things are so bad at home his siblings are scared of him. Strangley he behaves like an angel at my Mums so she doesn,t understand the problems we have. I am normally a very patient person but with this very trying behaviour, 2 toddlers a full time job and a house to run i am at the end of my tether and have found myself losing the plot more than once. We started a gluten free casein free diet to see if that would help and has a little but still waiting been told it will take longer (been on diet 8 weeeks). I will ring the SENCO at school tomorrow and have home school liason coming out on Friday any tips on how I can help him. He is statemented and has virtually full time support.

[pearl]

<'> Joybed

Transition to secondary school is one of the hardest times, certainly was for JP. School helped in several ways to reduce his stress levels:

He had his own toilet (the visitors toilet, he used a key)

He had a safe place to go to when he got stressed.

He didnt have to go outside at break & lunch

TA spotted impending signs of meltdown & removed him from class before he could embarrass himself.

 

Less stress at school = fewer meltdowns at home, though he was never as stressed as your lad. I dont know if any of this is in place at your sons school or if it would help. I'm sure there are others with ideas.

[joybed]

All of these are in place, School have been really great. Not sure if they are aware of how bad he is at times but they will be tomorrow. Thay have a buddy club at school and apparently Marcus is very popular there. I also have a friend who works in the ASd team and she said school are singing Marcus prases and feel he is coping really well. I think he is very good at hiding how he feels but obviously he can let it all out with us. He has had detention a few times for not doing homework and Marcus says this is the cause of his stress however he is very clever at laying blame on other people than himself. I feel guilty right now for being glad they are all in bed, I know i shouldn,t but I expect myself to be super mum. Will keep you posted on what school say, i am at work tomorrow but will be disapearing to make a phone call, this is too important.

[Nic m]

i hope you get some help soon, joybed i hope you dont think this is a silly suggestion but could the change of diet be contributing to this behaviour?If my daughter hasn't been to the toilet in a while her behaviour gets worse.The consultant we see said this could be the toxins in her body, i know you are changing his diet for the better but it may be part of the reason for worse behaviour.

When my sister changed my nephews diet a few years ago it took a while for his behaviour to settle, it did get better in the end and only flares up now when under a lot of stress.

Its just a thought, i just wondered if it is a bit like withdrawing from something if that makes sense?

Sorry again if this sounds silly

nic

[Karen A]

<'> <'> Please don't expect to be able to be supermum.It is too hard a job.Karen.

[Suze]

I think if it were me I,d see my GP about a referral to camhs and get some help and input from them.The violence self-harm etc are worrying issues.It may be good to get back with camhs aas he is just starting punberty and these general get worse at this time...they are for us too .

[joybed]

The change in diet could have made his behaviour slightly worse but it was bad before this we started the diet as behaviour had deterirated so rapidly. What exactly do Camhs do. We have only seen a paedaitrician for his constipation and the school ASD team since he was diagnosed. I have often wondered if there are elements of ADHD in his behaviour as well but when I have mentioned it to the school team they have dismissed the idea. Also my GP is very reluctant to refer to anyone or prescribe anything won,t even prescribe a loaf of gluten free bread and we have an argument over his laxatives at least 4 times a year they only give it to us because the Paediatrician says he neeeds it. Paed says he doesn,t need to keep seeing him but we go every 6 months or my GP stops the prescription. Can the paed refer us to Camhs. Thanks for your help Joy

[Karen A]

Hi Joy.

Camhs [Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service] is the mental health part of NHS for children and teenagers.Camhs may be able to carry out an assessment and to provide support with behaviour problems,sleep problems and self-injury.They will assess whether the difficulties your DS is having are related to ASD or whether there could be another cause.

If your DS is currently seen by the paediatrician then it would be appropriate to talk to the paediatrician about the difficulties you are having and to see if he/she thinks that input from Camhs would be helpful.Camhs in my area require a professional referal and it sounds as though the paediatrician may be more helpful than the GP.Karen.