suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Hi, Remember I said that I got chatting to this guy off the net well today I took a step that I would never normally do and suggest we meet up while he was on his lunch break, we have been emailing, txting and we had a 2 hour chat on the phone which is extremely unusual for me to do especially chatting to a guy, its not usual for me ever to make a good impression with people. I knew what he looked liked and I was happy that I could kind of take a step forward like this as I dont do social meetings but its so different with him - He was everything that I was hoping to meet and although i was nervous, it wasnt that awful feeling of am I making a bad move, we seemed to connect considering that this was the first face to face meeting. I did tell him about possibly having Aspergers and he was fine with it, so at this stage I feel I can trust him as he has shown me that he is caring, honest, and the perfect gentleman really which is something you dont find very often. My only worries are my own insecurities and the ability to be able to comunicate with him, I have a real problem knowing what to say, and what not to say and sometimes I sound so formal, he commented to me today about looking into my eyes and having to stop himself, I guess he might have been flirting but I dont know how to reply to these sort of questions - I feel I am useless at that kind of thing. Its a nice distraction to have with all that is going on in my life but I just dont want to muck anything up - Even just getting to know him as a friend would be lovely, I need more people my own age around and I dont have that at the moment but I do know that I do fancy him but I wouldnt know where to start in trying to develop a relationship. Sorry about long drawn out post but I dont really have anyone that I could chat to about these sorts of things Suzy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lya of the Nox Report post Posted January 30, 2008 hey hunny just look on this at the moment as a friendship, then see how it goes from there and we all have those worries about what to say, and when to say small steps i am pleased for you tho xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks for the advice. I dont want to rush things at the moment, I want to see if we can develop a friendship and see how that goes, after last year, im a extremely weary of any sort of romantic relationship and I would be quite happy to be just friends if he just wants that because he is a great guy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted January 30, 2008 that wa brave of you meeting him like that,i bet you was nervous he does sound like a nice man,i definately agree for you to see it as a friendship at the mo,good luck though,let us know how it goes i met a man through a lonely hearts column once,when i turned up i was 45 minutes late,he looked the double of leo sayer,he had a lime green suit on and was a scientist he was very poshly spoken,i really dont think he knew what to make of me,he couldnt get a word in edgeways,he just sat therelooking a bit shocked he saw me home in a taxi and as he drove off he saw me climbing through my window cos i was locked out,he didnt ring me after that night,i cant think why Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 I felt that I wanted to meet him early on because I had a feeling he was genuine and I just went with my gut feeling and I suppose it was right this time - We met in Glasgow City Centre in a busy shopping mall and just sat down and chatted about general stuff over a drink - My curiousity about him kind of pushed me to ask him if he would like to meet and it was so last minute really - He mentioned where he worked and I was already going into town so I thought why not. Yeah I met him through one of those sites and i really wasnt expecting to actually meet him but his emails and speaking to him on the phone, sort of said that he was not like a lot of guys out there looking for one thing. Sounds like a bit of a disaster - thats the problem with internet it makes it doubly hard to guess if they are genuine or not and if you are not good with people - The last thing i wanted was to come face to face was an old, wrinkly pensioner, thankfully he was a tall good looking, young guy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
angel77 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Good luck with it all. It sounds like you really get on well with him. Angel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
allsetuk Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Hi suzy and well done for going to meet him and chatting for so long, really well done, I know from my own similar experience this is really hard. try not to worry although i know its super hard. maybe have a list in your pocket of topics, and then that can trigger your thoughts if you get stuck D x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 30, 2008 I'm glad it went well I think you need to take things slowly when you meet someone this way. You can feel like you know them really well, when it reality, you don't. Just bear in mind that you have only just met for the first time today. He does sound nice though Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Hi Tally, I know what you mean, I want to take things very slowly, my judgement is quite poor as is trying to work out people's intentions, and I find it hard to fully trust people or even myself sometimes but I feel I up to now that what he has said through all the comunication and meeting face to face is true and at the moment i am happy with the way things are going. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Hi Suzy, So pleased to hear you finally meet this guy and that you connected. I think you are doing the right thing taking it slowly, lets hope its the start of a wondeful friendship. So have you plans to meet up soon. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Hi Suzy, So pleased to hear you finally meet this guy and that you connected. I think you are doing the right thing taking it slowly, lets hope its the start of a wondeful friendship. So have you plans to meet up soon. Clare x x x Hi Clare63, Thank you, I hope we do manage to build a friendship and I dont stuff things up. We have kind of said maybe next tuesday but it could change. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Well fingers crossed, I am sure if you take it slowly you won't "stuff it up" I am very pleased for you. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Oooh. Good luck. Hope it works out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 I will let you know how thing progress. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Brilliant! I think it's key not to over-analyse and be tempted to plan ahead (most of us have been guilty of that when in a new friendship/relationship) - just take it as it comes and enjoy his company. I think it's very admirable that you've been honest and up front with this man about the possibility of you having AS. Honesty is definitely the best policy and I'm sure once he gets to know you and perhaps find out a little bit more about AS, that he'll be understanding if you find certain situations awkward. Best wishes. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Thanks caroline for the kind words - I felt it was better telling him straight away because it might help him understand me a bit better - He was understanding and just the fact that he didnt run a mile after I told him was reassuring that he is a genuinely nice guy. We have talked about mental health issues and he has a very mature attitude about it. The phychologist that I saw last Tuesday said to me that I do have Aspergers but the next assessment was to determine exactly where I am on the spectrum, so hopefully I will be able to get some support for the things that I struggle with so I can cope better with situations. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted January 31, 2008 Well done on meeting him :-) FWIW I met my hubby online too - he was in the USA though (been together 11 years married 9) so it can work. Its nice because you get the chance to chat and get to know one another without having to worry about looks or the material stuff. You do get a lot of horror stories out there but there are some good ones too so I'm glad your experience has been positive so far too :-) Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
suzy27 Report post Posted January 31, 2008 Well done on meeting him :-) FWIW I met my hubby online too - he was in the USA though (been together 11 years married 9) so it can work. Its nice because you get the chance to chat and get to know one another without having to worry about looks or the material stuff. You do get a lot of horror stories out there but there are some good ones too so I'm glad your experience has been positive so far too :-) Lynne x Hi Lynne, Thanks for you message - Thats a really lovely positive story. I had met a couple of other people before - 1 was very nice and the other one was a horror story but I feel with this guy that hopefully we will be friends for a long time even if nothing romantic came of it. I am happy just to know that some people do see a nice side to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lya of the Nox Report post Posted January 31, 2008 lots of us on here have met up and we are still talking, so far........................... small steps, can you tell i am a mother, i NAG good *dont let meggzie see this lol* x <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
