Emotions....in the playground.

[hsmum]

Hello,

 

My son is nearly nine years old and has Asperger Syndrome. He is very sociable and wants friends. However, he spends a lot of time crying at school because he takes things said in fun personally or he doesn't understand the rules of a game, or because his best friend gets in a temper when my son plays a silly game or makes funny noises, or because he can't stand losing. In fact, he finds the whole social scene at school hard work. His teachers, say that his emotional state is impeding his progress and he is becoming disruptive. He will often come into class after break so upset that he almost shouts out his grievances to the teacher. The teacher usually sends him out wih a support worker who tries to calm him down. I am worried about him, because he wants to be liked and, although he is clearly a bright boy, he is three years behind his peers in most academic subjects.

 

How can we help our son cope in the playground and how can we help his teachers deal with these emotional outbursts?

 

Thanks

[Tally]

It sounds like he needs some support in the playground, an adult to lead a game and to facilitate his communication with the other children.

[lisa35]

Hi, my son is 13 next,we dont have diagnosis as yet but convinced hes aspergers.Sounds very similar, I so wish id ve really got my head arundd this aspect earlier

We noe explain every single social situation, never presume that they "understand" any unwritten social rules

The NAS has good info about how to teach these things, Ill find link

Also, our son has support one lesson daily, witha support who has worked wit another child withaspergers

She intervenes, avoids things escalating, and uses every opportunity to explain body language,etc

I was quite shocked when I realised how well my son "hides" his inability to reead expressions,etc, its never too soon to start, wish we had earlier

We didnt because we believed the professionals when they said he was nt aspergers

Things like turning sound down on tv- ask what he thinks expressions,etc,are-it is difficult, our son tends to be very paranoid also as he misreads intentions/social situtations

Maybe SENCO could access some social skills training, but i really believe its us as parents that have to keep ona nd on at them-our son is reluctatnt to admit/cant see he has a problem.

Its also hard when they are older, sorry if rambled a bit, ill find the link

Lisa

ps our lad hates school-and we re currently requesting assessment-he needs more one to one to rduce his social isolation

We also found that at primary-the knowledge of aspergers is limited, up to us toeducate

[lisa35]

ps there is no point teacher trying to discuss anuything with him when hes in such a high state of anxity-it has to be done when calm, also is there a "safe, quiet " place he can go at break times, also we use a time out card

[lisa35]

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp...282&a=12731

could try letting him come into lesson 5 mins before end of brak so has "com down" time, Im not sure if it ll help but I could pm you a summary I did for school, with strategies

Lisa

[Karen A]

Hi hsmum.Difficulties with social situations in the playground that cause upsett which spills over into class crop up often on the Forum.

It is certainly an ongoing cause of upsett and frustration for Ben.

Various strategies have been used in various schools.

Some schools have used a ''circle of friends'' to support children with AS...a sort of group of buddies who offer support.Other schools have an arranged place that children that feel lonely can go to...other children are aware to have a chatt and invite the child to join in.

Ben has been helped by the provision of whole school training in AS.The staff that provide support during unstructured times are now more aware regarding how to support Ben appropriately to prevent the situation escalating when Ben is finding a game difficult.The ASD outreach teacher was very helpful in explaining to staff how to support Ben in Social Situations that he finds difficult.

Karen.

[Karen A]

hsmum.I will move this thread to Education section of the Forum.

I think people may well spot it there.Karen.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I'm in a similar situation with my son.

 

In the first instance, I'd ask what the school's inclusion policy is.

 

Don't know if your son receives allocated support (noted you'd made reference to support worker) or not, but could someone not be allocated specifically during these difficult instructured periods to help mediate and teach social skills?

 

My son's school have buddies, whereby eg older children eg P6/7 look after one of the little ones. Is this an option?

 

It's heartbreaking to hear of these difficulties - my son's had to be taken into school because no one will play with him (others kids are fed up of his obsessive and controlling behaviour). Have to say, I'm not happy about R being taken in to calm down. His LA should be mediating and teaching him social skills and helping the other kids (as well as R) understand tolerance/taking turns/compromising.

 

Caroline.

[hsmum]

Hello,

 

 

Thank you for the helpful replies. My son does not have an allocated support worker, but there is classroom support for him and the three other SEN children in his class. We are currently in the early stages of seeking statementing, so perhaps more help will be designated. .

[Karen A]

Hello,

 

 

Thank you for the helpful replies. My son does not have an allocated support worker, but there is classroom support for him and the three other SEN children in his class. We are currently in the early stages of seeking statementing, so perhaps more help will be designated. .

 

Hi I have a hint from personal experience.If the request to assess for a Statement is accepted include information in the parental submission regarding difficulties in the playground.It would be worth pushing to have support for unstructured times documented in the Statement.Perhaps a TA could then provide specific support at these times then.

It is worth ensuring that it is documented in any future Statement as it is something that often gets overloooked...schools are sometimes keener to use support for lessons .Karen.