SueB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Hi all I've been a lurker for yonks so thought it about time I introduced myself. I am Sue, married and a mum of 2 teens. DD is aged 19 and is a fantastic hairdresser (Yup I get my hair done for nowt!). Sooo proud of her. DS is aged 17 and we are equally as proud of him. Although I have not gone down the diagnosis route, he has always had very strong traits of Aspergers. Intellectually he is fab - fantastic GCSEs, now in further education, and we are looking around at Uni's for him to do an Engineering Degree. However, as expected, he is very lacking in his social development. He is a loner, clings onto routine, hates change, DOES NOT do small talk, doesn't know how to respond socially (always putting his foot in it...sometimes big style like at my Uncles funeral - but that's another story), always has a topic of fascination (usually astronomy - always quantum physics!)....I could go on and on!! Anyway, I hope to chat to you and if anyone has any advice for Aspergers and Uni I would be grateful. Sue xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Hi sue - Welcome to the forum Mine's nowhere near uni age yet, so no advice, but i'm sure there are plenty here who can give you some useful stuff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Welcome to the forum Sue My lad is nearly 19 & had a place ready in HE, however he got an apprenticeship first. We were going down the disabled students allowance route & had just got onto the assessment merry go round, but not sure if you could do this without a formal diagnosis. We think he would have found it difficult to cope without additional help. Good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Hiya Sue Welcome to the forum Flora Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SueB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Thank you for your welcomes Welcome to the forum Sue We were going down the disabled students allowance route & had just got onto the assessment merry go round, but not sure if you could do this without a formal diagnosis. We think he would have found it difficult to cope without additional help. Good luck! Hi Pearl we are looking at Uni's near to home so he can commute, that will be a choice of 3 if he gets accepted of course. Tom has never had support in the classroom other than putting him in older classes for maths as he was extremely bored at his own level. If he gets accepted at a local one then my worries will lessen. I know he will keep up academically and as for socially...we are making improvements in this area and he is now catching buses to college by himself. We have a year to prepare him. Sue xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billabong Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Hi SueB and big welcome I can't respond from experience of having a DS or DD - don't have any - but I'm married to a mega-brain AS man. I'll see if I can get some ideas out of him. I've also got a grown-up nephew - on my side of the family - who sounds just like your DS and I suspect is on the AS spectrum. He's survived uni and has a job, working with things not people (now there's a surprise). I suspect he managed to find a few people who were on the same wavelength. I'll be on the case for you! Best wishes, Billabong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SueB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 He's survived uni and has a job, working with things not people (now there's a surprise). Best wishes, Billabong This is sooo uncannily true tbh. When we went to a Uni on an open day the other week, there were lots of young men there all for the same course as Tom - Engineering. You had to see to believe how many of the parents were describing their kids with Aspergers traits. Many of these young men were as geeky and as clever as Tom, many had very poor social skills and their mums were saying they had always been like that (from being very little). Is ther something about Aspergers and Engineering?? lol sue xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Is ther something about Aspergers and Engineering?? lol Someone told me this joke: Definition of an extrovert engineer: He looks at your shoes when he's talking to you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SueB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Someone told me this joke: Definition of an extrovert engineer: He looks at your shoes when he's talking to you! LOL Sue xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 19, 2008 Hi all I've been a lurker for yonks so thought it about time I introduced myself. I am Sue, married and a mum of 2 teens. DD is aged 19 and is a fantastic hairdresser (Yup I get my hair done for nowt!). Sooo proud of her. DS is aged 17 and we are equally as proud of him. Although I have not gone down the diagnosis route, he has always had very strong traits of Aspergers. Intellectually he is fab - fantastic GCSEs, now in further education, and we are looking around at Uni's for him to do an Engineering Degree. However, as expected, he is very lacking in his social development. He is a loner, clings onto routine, hates change, DOES NOT do small talk, doesn't know how to respond socially (always putting his foot in it...sometimes big style like at my Uncles funeral - but that's another story), always has a topic of fascination (usually astronomy - always quantum physics!)....I could go on and on!! Anyway, I hope to chat to you and if anyone has any advice for Aspergers and Uni I would be grateful. Sue xx Sue Welcome to the Forum and a big thankyou for your first post.Ben is 10 and so we are many years behind you.Ben has Dyspraxia and Social Communication Difficulties [Maybe AS we will find out in September ].However Ben sounds very like your DS.It is great to know your DS is doing so well and hoping to go on to university. The comment about the funeral made me smile. I remeber well how after having explained as sensitively as possible to Ben that nanna was really very ill he proceeeded to ask in a rather loud voice how come she had not died yet.....fortunately not within range of nanna. Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SueB Report post Posted July 19, 2008 The comment about the funeral made me smile. We attended a much loved Uncles funeral and as we were waiting for the hearse to arrive at the graveyard, Tom asked grief stricken Nana if she knew if Uncle had been embalmed as this would effect the decomposing of the body. In fact Tom had a theory of the effects of temperature and decomposing of the body and how long it would take...would Nana like to hear it?? Tom felt no remorse...he just wondered what he had said that made Nana cry hysterically!! Sue xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 19, 2008 We attended a much loved Uncles funeral and as we were waiting for the hearse to arrive at the graveyard, Tom asked grief stricken Nana if she knew if Uncle had been embalmed as this would effect the decomposing of the body. In fact Tom had a theory of the effects of temperature and decomposing of the body and how long it would take...would Nana like to hear it?? Tom felt no remorse...he just wondered what he had said that made Nana cry hysterically!! Sue xx ...Some humour only works when other people understand. <'> Ben is at a sleepover today.....it has been very strange and lacking in useful snippets of information.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted July 20, 2008 Bit late to this.....but Hi and welcome Clare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billabong Report post Posted July 20, 2008 Hi SueB I've not yet got the hang of 'quote', so I'm referring back to your response re going to the Uni open day. I've yet to broach subject of AS with my brother re his son (which makes him 'DN'). I know he did make some friends and still sees them from time to time and yes, they're all geeks! DH didn't have much to say re his time at Uni - one word re friends - 'none'. But big HOWEVER: that was back in the 70s; he stayed on to do post-grad study, shared a house with two fellow post-grads and managed to establish friendships with them as they had their research work in common; and his field of work is one that attracts similar types so he's quite at home there. it also seems to attract some very empathic, understanding, accepting types and is less 'cut and thrust' than some areas of work. Yes, Engineering/Physics really does have a higher proportion of differently-wired people. He gets on OK with some people if it's a one-to-one - and hey, he's married me (not always easy, ha ha, to say the least). I've read somewhere that there are AS support groups within some unis but don't know how widespread they are. And it depends on whether DS would want to go along to one. <'> Billabong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
