BuntyB Report post Posted December 25, 2008 I wonder if anyone can offer advice about explaining hurtful behaviour? My daughter is almost 13. She will do things with me, sometimes her brother or sisters, but she won't have anything to do with her Dad. If he sits near her, she gets up and walks away. if he makes her something to eat, she won't have it. The other night I was pleasantly surprised when she offered to come with us to decorate a tree for a Christmas dance. When she saw her Dad get his coat, she said 'Is HE coming? Because if he is, I'm not'. I feel really sorry for my husband because he really loves her but she always says he hates her. I don't know why, and I can't convince her otherwise. She sometimes says he 'shouts at her'. He doesn't, I think it's just his tone of voice because she often thinks if someone raises their voice, say in a PE lesson so that everyone can hear, or has a deeper voice that she thinks that is someone shouting at her and takes offence. I've tried to explain that her behaviour hurts him. She either doesn't understand or doesn't want to. When I talk to her she just gets edgy and constantly says 'Can I go now?' Does anyone have any suggestions or any success in explaining to a child with AS? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted December 26, 2008 Aw Shona, that is so sad, I am sorry I do not have any answers for you. My son is a bit funny with his Dad too, not keen to eat or drink anything if Dad makes it and says he's always shouting (his not, he too thinks if people speak loudly or raise their voices they are shouting at him). To be honest I tend to leave them to get on with it and when I am not around their relationship works much better. Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chris54 Report post Posted December 26, 2008 To be honest I tend to leave them to get on with it and when I am not around their relationship works much better. Clare x x x With us it my wife, his mum who is the one that is out of grace. Its always "Daddy" and if mum tries to do things for him he rejects it. But when they are on their own then he is OK. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skye Report post Posted December 27, 2008 (edited) I don't have any useful advise I just wanted to say that my 5 year old daughter is the same way about her dad. Sometimes he gets really upset about it. She doesn't want him to do the bedtime story or sit near her or make her some orange juice. I don't understand why either. When I ask her why she doesn't she too often says it's because he shouts at her, which he doesn't, no more than I do by counting to 5 so she will tidy up or something. Sometimes she can be really nice to him but she does it in front of me and then points it out. Like look I gave him a hug. Sorry I couldn't be any help just thought I would let you know I am in a similar situation on this one. Skye Edited December 27, 2008 by skye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
