jacquelineh1468 Report post Posted May 30, 2009 hi,my 10 year old son who has a dx of adhd,asd and generalised congenital benign hypotonia has been suffering with depression for around a year and a half and i just dont know what to do.Is this the norm for children with asd,s.He kept me awake till 3am the other morning and was just crying all the time but the following morning he was like a different little boy happy,and chatty.I just dont know what to do anymore to help him,i know he has been having problems with schooling but i thought that everything was resolved in that area,he also suffers from anxiety and has got it into his head that i am going to die soon,he keeps asking me what will happen to him if i die and how much longer will i be alive for him.This is breaking my heart and it is very hard for me to keep seeing him like this.Has anybody been in this kind of situation and can offer me some advice Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted May 30, 2009 Just an opinion, and obviously I don't know all the ins and outs, but perhaps there isn't depression but anxieties? For some children dealing with the challenges of the day does come out as upset or tears at the end of the day and this is their way of stress relief, however hard it may be to watch. If he doesn't seem unduly unhappy afterwards it may 'just' be a coping mechanism for anxiety. It's important for my own son to offload in a safe and secure environment if that is what he needs to do. He needed a physical outlet, being non-verbal. We've had numerous ways of doing this, mostly giving him some sensory input - the swing was just great, he used to head there straight from school. Now he's older we just use the shower - he's a different person when he comes out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted May 30, 2009 My own son (8) talks about death alot and what will happen to him when I die, and how will I die and will we see eachother again, and do ghosts exist etc. I think alot of this is down to anxiety and the fact that he is self aware and he knows he has difficulties and he does rely on me as his mother to sort out alot of his problems - but mothers do that for all their children. I think these types of thoughts are quite common with those on the spectrum. Whether it is more than other children I don't know. But my son definately worries about it more than his older sister - or maybe she worries the same but just doesn't tell me about it. I just try to re-assure my own son by telling him that he will be grown up before I die, and I remind him that my own mother and father are still alive and I am in my late 40's so there is alot of time to go. My own sons anxiety also stems from not having any real understanding of time and how to measure time. So I don't know if your son is similar and finds it hard to understand time. As your son is 10, there may also be the onset of puberty. Hormones can play havoc with emotions. My daughter, who is not on the autistic spectrum, keeps bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. A couple of days ago I asked her to help me carry the shopping and she burst into tears. I know that when I was a teenager my mum took me to the doctors a number of times because she suspected depression because I kept breaking down and crying at school, so much so that they sent me home! And I do remember feeling very up and down emotionally. There had also been a school friend who had died in a road accident and it played on my mind - about how life was so unpredictable and why bother trying your best or planning for the future when you could be run over going to school. I would just go with the emotions your son has at any given time. If you begin to see a pattern ie. continually sad and tearful, or very manic and happy and full of energy and then very low and depressed, then go and see the doctor and talk about it. But otherwise, if you cannot identify any problems he is having at home or school, then it is all part of the rich pattern of growing up. Feeling sad or tearful sometimes is normal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 31, 2009 i have both depression and AS i have suffered with MH prob for 5 years now since i was 14 i used to be CAMHS service now im with adult MHT i have pyschtrist im on meds and been on and off since 14 different ones the ones im on now helps me sleep as i have insomia quite bad! i still struggle to battle and fight with depression i also havwe anxiety probs panic attacks paranoia i try my best with it all! but get so tired all time of trying to stay balanced in my healthy MH sometimes it's average success other times fails miserably! i had CBT after first diagnosis! for clinical pyschlogist from CAMHS! i had family therapy! in past had several suicidal urges /voices and get easily stressed and upset! i also self-harmed for 5 years on and off helps me cope when feel stuff keep building and want to numb myself from pain and hurt i feel everyday for being that somewhat 'different' i struggle to handle and accept everything sometimes feel like running away from everything not being me! take care XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 31, 2009 it like i'm on emotional rollercoaster i can get off it's doesn't fee like my problems and my life sometimes feel as if i watching from outside im very UPPY then DOWNY but come crashing down and when buzzing i'm hyper non-stop it seems like i'm always on see-saw with emotions and feelings i get so confused and frustrated by myself! wish there was a switch i could turn off and for once i wouldn't have to go this daily! i get so burned out easily and lack of energy alot of the time as takes it out of me mentally/emotionally draining uses everything to get me by each and every day it try hide it best it can! pretend im OK! other days i fall apart literally break down in tears can't control it happens all sudden i mostly cry at night when no-one can see the effects it has on me and my life i try shield alot of people i know from this im scared of going through this alone but im bottle things up i can't feel i talk to anyone when feeling so bad inside yet this makes me head explode into anger etc so many emotions and feelings go around having AS and depression i didnt realise until it affected in in such way i cam't igorn it or put myself together it something it naturally can't help and like any other medical condition just in your head where you can't see what really happening and going on! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley1590 Report post Posted May 31, 2009 i keep a diary when really low shaky just not right i don't feel like writing down my deepest darkest thoughts and emotions i have no any energy time attention to give to help me express myself on paper let it out i know i should make myself somehow but just so hard and difficult as feel like mentally/emotionally always 'on the run' with yourself never knowing when depression is going to 'hit you'! i just try stay active and busy as this helps keep at bay sometimes none of this shifts my negative thinking pattern due to the depression and AS it so annoying! my neice who's 4 years old (my sister's little girl) she sees me cry and you can see in her face she wondering WHY she like this and in her head! i just normally make up an excuse i don't want her to think she done anything wrong to me! i get UMPPY! alot moany it's NOT her fault! i adore her so much she been there in so many different ways made me feel important special wanted but yet wish she had 'normal auntie' but then think she always known me so she don't know any different anyways! maybe me being stupid and silly i just don't know what to think anymore? my mind plays tricks and hard to work out where i stand,belong fit into society world?! XKX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jacquelineh1468 Report post Posted June 1, 2009 Just an opinion, and obviously I don't know all the ins and outs, but perhaps there isn't depression but anxieties? For some children dealing with the challenges of the day does come out as upset or tears at the end of the day and this is their way of stress relief, however hard it may be to watch. If he doesn't seem unduly unhappy afterwards it may 'just' be a coping mechanism for anxiety. It's important for my own son to offload in a safe and secure environment if that is what he needs to do. He needed a physical outlet, being non-verbal. We've had numerous ways of doing this, mostly giving him some sensory input - the swing was just great, he used to head there straight from school. Now he's older we just use the shower - he's a different person when he comes out. hi call me jaded,thanks for your reply you could be right as my son does suffer with alot of anxiety.I think hes getting worked up about having to go back to school after the half term.Hes going fishing today so hopefully that will lift his mood Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jacquelineh1468 Report post Posted June 1, 2009 My own son (8) talks about death alot and what will happen to him when I die, and how will I die and will we see eachother again, and do ghosts exist etc. I think alot of this is down to anxiety and the fact that he is self aware and he knows he has difficulties and he does rely on me as his mother to sort out alot of his problems - but mothers do that for all their children. I think these types of thoughts are quite common with those on the spectrum. Whether it is more than other children I don't know. But my son definately worries about it more than his older sister - or maybe she worries the same but just doesn't tell me about it. I just try to re-assure my own son by telling him that he will be grown up before I die, and I remind him that my own mother and father are still alive and I am in my late 40's so there is alot of time to go. My own sons anxiety also stems from not having any real understanding of time and how to measure time. So I don't know if your son is similar and finds it hard to understand time. As your son is 10, there may also be the onset of puberty. Hormones can play havoc with emotions. My daughter, who is not on the autistic spectrum, keeps bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. A couple of days ago I asked her to help me carry the shopping and she burst into tears. I know that when I was a teenager my mum took me to the doctors a number of times because she suspected depression because I kept breaking down and crying at school, so much so that they sent me home! And I do remember feeling very up and down emotionally. There had also been a school friend who had died in a road accident and it played on my mind - about how life was so unpredictable and why bother trying your best or planning for the future when you could be run over going to school. I would just go with the emotions your son has at any given time. If you begin to see a pattern ie. continually sad and tearful, or very manic and happy and full of energy and then very low and depressed, then go and see the doctor and talk about it. But otherwise, if you cannot identify any problems he is having at home or school, then it is all part of the rich pattern of growing up. Feeling sad or tearful sometimes is normal. hi sally44,thanks for your advice its nice to know that i am not alone and there are people out there going through the same thing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jacquelineh1468 Report post Posted June 1, 2009 i keep a diary when really low shaky just not right i don't feel like writing down my deepest darkest thoughts and emotions i have no any energy time attention to give to help me express myself on paper let it out i know i should make myself somehow but just so hard and difficult as feel like mentally/emotionally always 'on the run' with yourself never knowing when depression is going to 'hit you'! i just try stay active and busy as this helps keep at bay sometimes none of this shifts my negative thinking pattern due to the depression and AS it so annoying! my neice who's 4 years old (my sister's little girl) she sees me cry and you can see in her face she wondering WHY she like this and in her head! i just normally make up an excuse i don't want her to think she done anything wrong to me! i get UMPPY! alot moany it's NOT her fault! i adore her so much she been there in so many different ways made me feel important special wanted but yet wish she had 'normal auntie' but then think she always known me so she don't know any different anyways! maybe me being stupid and silly i just don't know what to think anymore? my mind plays tricks and hard to work out where i stand,belong fit into society world?! XKX hi smiley1590,dont worry i know exactly where you are coming from as well as my son having the problems that he has,i also suffer from depression and anxiety and have done since being a teenager like you.I am sure that you are a wonderful auntie and that your niece loves you for what you are,that is the great thing about children their love is unconditional Take care xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
