Worried about uncle

[ScienceGeek]

I wrote about my uncle several months ago, suspected ASD/illiterate and very vulnerable. He currently has my aunt and cousin staying in the house and it is even worse than my other cousins staying there! My cousin stole all his money, and has been taking out agreements in his name (broadband, digital and allsorts) and my uncle went to the police and is taking him to court for fraud and when the police phoned to confirm that he wanted to go ahead my cousin answered the phone and pretended to be my uncle to get the case thrown out!! My aunt P does everything for him, so if anything were to happen to her I don't know how he would cope. I know the thing that he should do is kick him out, but I know he wouldn't do it, he doesn't have it in him to turn away a family member "in need".

 

 

[Sally44]

This is a difficult one that I don't really have any experience of.

I presume your uncle was living independently and managing prior to the aunt and cousin moving in?

Why do they need to be living there?

There is a real chance that your uncle could be taken advantage of. The situations you explain can and does happen to other vulnerable people. Unfortunately some people in this world will see someone vulnerable and will use them to get things they want whether that is money, a roof over their head, access to other things etc.

I don't know if something like Citizens Advice would be able to give you any information.

The difficulty is going to be that as an adult your uncle can make his own choices. The point is, if he does have an ASD, is he capable of understanding that someone is taking advantage of him, and having understood that would he know what to do about it and would he have the ability to actually do it?

Are there any other family members that know of the situation and who are responsible and reliable and could intervene if necessary?

[ScienceGeek]

My uncle has never truly been independent as such, he still lives in the home that he grew up in. My aunt P does everything for him, she lives next door. Aunt S is a bully and is using the house as a hotel, it's her son who stole all the money etc. This isn't the first time that other family members have taken advantage of him, and it's really sad to see. He let them stay because they had nowhere else to go. For them to turn around and do this to him is cruel. I think my aunt P needs to intervene because he doesn't have it in him, either that or my mum.

 

 

[NobbyNobbs]

i would speak to your aunt p, she may well already be aware of what's going on, but cannot intervene without support from other family.

 

my grandmother was in a similar situation, my cousins both kept demanding money off her, saying they desperately needed it. one even bought a one-way ticket to australia, then phoned my grandmother from australia and demanded she buy a ticket home when the holiday was over! she also got money for a deposit and rent on a flat etc. when she died my grandfather was horrified at the true extent of what had gone on (the money had come out of my grandmothers private savings so he hadn't known just how much she had give them - every penny it turned out) and both those people were cut out of the will and my grandfather will have nothing to do with them. fortunately my uncle lives with my grandfather (he has AS - my uncle, not grandfather) and is very firm, and wont even let them in the house if they even mention money.

Edited July 2, 2009 by NobbyNobbs