Depressed son - pyjamas

[JeanneA]

Hi I'm still waiting to hear when and where Glen's mental health assessment will be just hope it isn't much longer. At least Glen is going to school now via the school taxi service although he is extremely anxious each morning so its not easy.

Every afternoon when Glen gets home he asks for pyjamas and bed. He also asks for pyjamas at the weekends after breakfast would you believe, which is strange because you would think that he knows he's not going to school saturday and sunday and he would be happy just to be downstairs in the lounge. I just let Glen put his pyjamas on let him lay down for a while because I don't know what else to do. If I try and prevent Glen putting his pyjamas on he will then get aggressive /self harms/anxious so to keep the peace I give in to him. Once he's laid down for a while i will get him up and he appears fine but still keeps his pyjamas on whilst sitting downstairs. Glen has no interest in doing anything at home apart from strangely enough, washing up he never refuses. I watch him play with the water pours it on his hands, a sensory thing I guess?

 

I just wondered if anyone else had been through this experience with their child?

[Sally44]

What was Glen like before he started the medication?

 

Glen may associate PJs with staying at home and that is why he puts them on as it re-assures him that he is staying at home. He does sound down though doesn't he. Is it unusual for him to ask to go back to bed during the daytime?

 

Any idea when the assessment will take place?

 

Is there anything coming up soon that Glen is aware of eg. finishing school, talk of a school trip, moving class etc. Have they talked about any subject in school that may have upset him eg. relationships, growing up and independence skills etc. I'm wondering how self aware he is and whether he is depressed because he understands his difficulties. Is there any other child in the class that has hit or hurt him whilst in school?

[JeanneA]

Glen has been depressed for sometime, he did ask for pyjamas before going on the medication. I don't know when the assessment will be as yet, there is another meeting on April 19th when hopefully we should know when the date for the assessment will be.

They haven't been talking about anything that I know of at School that would make him more anxious, I think its just how he is at the moment, I don't think anything will change until he gets some treatment. It is so sad to see him like he is.

[Sally44]

Why is it taking so long for him to be seen?

[JeanneA]

Hi Sally its taking a while because they are trying to find the right residential mental health clinic for Glen due to his special needs, age and mental health issues it is important that they get the right one. I am going to contact the psychiatrist tomorrow to see how she is getting on, if she has found a suitable place yet.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My son is 8 and we saw CAMHS for a lengthy spell last year. I'm convinced R was depressed, but CAMHS were reluctant to confirm this, yet interestingly they were happy enough to write out a prescription for Risperidone for 'extreme anxiety'. I find it heartbreaking watching a young child refuse outings to the cinema, favourite toy shop, etc, choosing instead to shut his bedroom curtains and stay in bed watching tv. He goes through phases where he'll actually tell me that he just wants to be left alone. He has self-harmed, though, hasn't done for a few months. Suddenly tonight he was very tearful and I really think he's heading off in that direction again.

 

Must admit, tonight, I'm feeling particularly useless/bit of a failure, since all I can do is be there for him. I think it's particularly difficult when my expectation is that CAMHS are going to help. Fact is, I think they have their limitations despite the best of intentions (they clock on at 9 and off at 5). I also think it's easy to run out of steam – thank goodness for this forum!

 

It might be worth contacting CAMHS for a cancellation appointment. Certainly 'pester power' can help to hurry things up a bit. Obviously, you know Glen best and you've been very perceptive in terms of noticing how he's feeling, etc.

 

Take care.

 

Caroline.

[Suze]

Hi Jeanne, my son is the same age as yours.He has periods of depression.His highs are very high, and the lows very very low.It has always been a big concern for us and school.He isn,t on any medication for it, just something to help him sleep at night.We are in a period of depression now , he spends most of his time in his room, when he talks to us he is miserable and sullen and he won,t really interact with us at all.It is a worry.My thoughts are that as Glenn is non-verbal the only way to communicate I guess is through actions, being in his pj,s is saying, I want to be quiet chill out and be by myself, not go anywhere or do anything , iyswim.I,d let him chill if he needs it , I think these years in particular are hard with the general hormones etc.My son has grown so much since christmas he is now huge and wearing size 10 shoes.All this is gonna take it out of them I think.Its confusing and hard for any teenager.All my friend with NT kids of a similar age, can,t get their kids out of bed or to do much.I,m not trying to belittle your worries over Glen as I know how worried you are.Just wanted to suggest maybe these hard times are his age aswell and as he gets older and out of the "terribleteens" he will be more himself , best wishes suzex.

[JeanneA]

Hi ladies, thanks so much for your comments. I have been onto CAMHS again this morning and am waiting for them to call me back!! Yes I understand that it is a difficult time coming up 16, hormones etc. I am letting Glen chill when he needs to. This is the longest spell that I've seen Glen depressed for and it is so upsetting to see. I do feel a failure, I do my best but I know at the end of the day Glen needs this assessment he deserves a better quality of life which he isn't having at the moment.

[Suze]

You must,nt feel a failure, don,t feel down on yourself.Letting him "lead" as it were with his time seems the best way to go at the moment, hes not behaving this way for attention or to deliberately make you sad.Hes doing it cos he needs too.I do feel our kids can have periods when their autism is much more pronounced.My son had a dreadful periods when he was 2-3 , then 7 ish...and now again when he is 14.It seems to be around an age of maturing and going through a "stage "as it were.Does Glen enjoy touch/tactile stuff.Even now when my boy is stressed he likes to be hugged very tight, and also he likes his forehead stroked.Its hard but I,m sure Glen knows you love him.Best wishes suzex.

[Karen A]

Hi ladies, thanks so much for your comments. I have been onto CAMHS again this morning and am waiting for them to call me back!! Yes I understand that it is a difficult time coming up 16, hormones etc. I am letting Glen chill when he needs to. This is the longest spell that I've seen Glen depressed for and it is so upsetting to see. I do feel a failure, I do my best but I know at the end of the day Glen needs this assessment he deserves a better quality of life which he isn't having at the moment.

 

Hi.I do not know much about teenage depression.However I have a very good friend who had severe depression as an adult.It took several attempts to find an anti-depressant that worked for him last time he was unwell and to get the dosage at the right level.

So please stick with it but do not be afraid to keep on to CAMHS if things are no better. <'>

Karen.

 

[JeanneA]

Thanks for all your kind words/support, sometimes you feel you are on your own. It's nice to have a forum like this with so many nice people x

[JeanneA]

I tried ringing up CAMHS yesterday but they didn't get back to me, so I will try again today once I've been shopping. I need to know if any progress has been made regarding this assessment. It is just so sad to watch Glen each day looking so depressed/so unhappy. He deserves a better, happier quality of life.

[cmuir]

I tried ringing up CAMHS yesterday but they didn't get back to me, so I will try again today once I've been shopping. I need to know if any progress has been made regarding this assessment. It is just so sad to watch Glen each day looking so depressed/so unhappy. He deserves a better, happier quality of life.

 

 

 

 

Hi

 

The key is that it's not just affecting Glen, but you (and rest of your family) as well. There's nothing more soul-destroying than watching your child go through something like this and that will take it's toll on you if something isn't done soon. It's worth getting that across. I recall going to see my GP and I just sat and sobbed uncontrollably. He asked if I had suicidal thoughts, etc. 'No', I said. 'Can't you tell the difference between depression and utter frustration?!'. Have to say he was good. He sent a rocket of a letter to CAMHS stating that the last thing that anyone needs is for the child's primary carer to develop mental health issues, or something to that effect. That's exactly right as it can put a financial strain on lots of other services ie social work, etc because something wasn't done earlier.

 

Fingers crossed, really hope you get somewhere soon for all your sakes.

 

Pester power can get you places!

 

Caroline.

Edited March 31, 2010 by cmuir

[JeanneA]

Hi Caroline I have rung CAMHS again just now and asked for the psychiatrist to call me I have also rung my social worker to see if she will have a go as well I am getting really frustrated at not hearing anything. I rang CAMHS yesterday and no-one called me back.