What a hard decision

[justine1]

Hi

 

After months of uncertainty I have decided to defer my Uni place until March 2011,it is not going to make much difference,iit means I will graduate 7mths later than intended but I think it is a small price to pay.I am worried though I will not go because my mind has been focused and I have been geared up to starting in September so its hard to accept this sudden change in plans.

 

However I have to be realistic,I spoke to the ed psych and she said the LEA have hinted that a draft statement will be issued in August for Sam,but because all the schools will be closed there is a very strong possibility he will be out of school for a month or more while we sort everything out.I have also decided not to move its just too much to think about when I have enough to deal with.

 

I also need to arrange childcare for my youngest and he will be a little older in March so it will give me more choice.I want to make sure my eldest son is settled in his new school and if Dan moves with his dad then need to make sure he is alright there too.

 

Sorry this is a boring post but I feel its helping me to come to terms with my decision by typing it.For me its very hard,I gave myself a two year limit on staying on benefits,so I was meant to start Uni this March(2010) but then I needed to complete another two courses so I was happy to start September now something else has come up,so I feel my whole plan is wrecked I just hate not doing anything I want to be learning and doing something,not to mention making friends,I am sad.But in the end my kids need me right now and I think I will push myself hard to get to my goal in the end

[baddad]

Hi Justine -

 

Really sorry . Can fully appreciate how disheartening it must be...

 

Trying to think of some positive's, though, maybe you could find something locally at Adult Ed or with a local group to 'fill the gap'? Maybe a short course in a similar area will keep your hand in mentally, but without the pressure/expectations of a module on the OU? Find the 'right' local course and maybe you could even get a credit transfer towards your eventual goal? or do something completely different but that sounds fun - a painting class, or photography or Zen & Motorcycle Maintenance or something? Basically, something that if you have to miss a week or two won't be a biggy?

FWIW I think you've got your priorities right for now - we live in a country, thank God, where there is a safety net that allows us to put our kids first, and using it in the short term will undoubtedly pay dividends in the long. You are trying hard to develop skills that will enable you and your kids to have a more secure future, and that makes good sense.

 

L&P

 

BD

[zenemu]

Hi Justine,

 

Obviously you have other priorities than your degree here, and family responsibilites, especially to your son must come above everything else, but don't let that distract you from your goals.

 

I think you need to look at the positives here. You are graduating seven months later, which gives you an extra seven months to examine career options, apply for jobs and to work out how things are going to work financially post degree, as well as doing the best by your son. Graduating is actually quite a big deal, because although you may have a defined career path in mind, it is also worth considering all of the alternatives and looking at a best fit for you. At the end of the day life is too short to be stuck in a career where you simply tolerate it and spend most of your time looking forward to the weekend or annual leave.

 

I really rushed through my degree, in fact if it had been allowed I could have finished it in a year, but the uni had its own ideas about that. I regret rushing though because I really had no clue what to do next when I finished, and I ended up going into the most obvious profession I was qualified for and it was a nightmare. I hated every single minute of it and spent a few years extrememly stressed and very unhappy. If I had taken a little more time and looked around I could have gone pretty much straight into the job I do now which I love, but at the time I didn't know such a career existed.

 

I am sure it will all work out for the best.

 

Good luck!

 

Zen

[Mumble]

If you contact the uni, they might be able to give you reading lists and other course info so you could get ahead through self study which would put you in a really strong position for when you start and also mean that if something unexpected comes up when you're on the course, it would matter less if you missed a week.

 

[Suze]

Sorry about this Justine, must have been a hard descision, probably the best choice for now, till little un is settled in at school again <'>

[baranigirl]

Hi Justine, totally understand where you are at I was gonna start an OU course in Sept and realistically this was never going to happen, am hoping I will start like you in March 2011

 

big hugs but sounds like a good decision xx

[justine1]

Thank you all,I feel a little better <'> I think thats a good idea Baddad,I have done three Open Uni courses,well need to do my Bio exam next month then I am finished.It has been very hard going trying to study and take proper care of my boys,but sooooooooooo glad I done the courses as it has kept my mind active and I have learnt alot.

 

I am also can use the letters H&SC cert at the end of my name as I gained a formal certificate in health and social care,Level 4 care which is similar to NVQ 3 but slightly harder.This got me my place at full time Uni.

 

So I need a break from studying but need to keep busy so will look at doing something like you suggested,thanks for that

[Tally]

I'm sorry to hear you've had to put things off. But at least you are only postponing, not having to cancel altogether.

[Kathryn]

Sorry to hear you have to change your plans but from what you've posted before, it sounded as though it was going to be one heck of a job to coordinate everything anyway, and focus fully on your studies. Better this way than finding yourself so stressed at the beginning of the course that you have to pull out. Hope that come March 2011 you;'ll be in a better position, especially with regard to Sam.

 

K x

[justine1]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies <'>

However...I have found childcare and things are looking more positive.A couple days after I posted I got my letter from the Uni for my induction day and I just didnt know what to do.So I started calling lots of childminders and have found someone perfectly suited for my needs(so to speak)She will care for Eli and maybe Dan if he doesnt go to his dads.Josh is sorted,and Sam will go to his granpa's and part time with my brother just until school is sorted for him as well.So its all systems go.We having a try out on the 23rd July when I go for my induction day so will let you all know how it goes.Yes,I am still stressed as nothing is concrete but I do feel a little more confident!!!

[zenemu]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies <'>

However...I have found childcare and things are looking more positive.....

 

 

Thats excellent news Justine, congratulations

[Tally]

Great news

[Kathryn]

I really hope it works out for you - you deserve to have a chance to do something for yourself at last.

 

Good luck!

 

K x

[baddad]

Hope it all works out I think many of their courses now offer a 'defer' option, so if things do go pear shaped any work you do will still count to the degree. sadly, you still have to pay two lots of fees but you get credit for any modules you took before having to take a break... Still, all being well that won't even be a consideration.

 

very, very best wishes

 

L&P

 

BD