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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team

justine1

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About justine1

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  • Birthday 02/21/1983

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    Buckinghamshire
  1. Upset again over online harassment

    I commented on this topic somewhere. What was very clear is that people really didn't understand the proposed law at all!It was in no way suggesting pregnant woman cannot drink alcohol and was in no way suggesting it would be against the law. The reason it came about was because a woman was currently facing charges for causing her childs many disabilities. The child was born with FAS and they listed all the complications this brings to the child. The woman would have been drinking extremely excessively for this to have happened. This law is proposing that whenever a child is born with FAS and has all these disabilities as a result the mother should be prosecuted and compensation given to the child(although I cannot see that happening if the mum is an alcoholic.) They mentioned there were around 300 (off the top of my head!)other cases that could go through the legal system if this one case went "well."(for lack of a better word!) I completely agree with it! I have children that have a disability through no fault of my own, I did not smoke, with my eldest who actually doesn't have a disability I did have the odd shandy(very weak) as he was born abroad over summer it was extremely hot-30 degrees C+. I didn't always follow guidelines regarding eating well but overall I did take care of myself. So why do these mums deliberately harm their unborn child? The spin off for the debate was regarding abortion and again I argued would it not be better for an alcoholic to abort then to go full term and have a child taken into care, unlikely to be adopted due to the massive health problems and eventually end up in an adult care setting. Imagine the huge costs on social and NHS services! Everything in moderation as they say. There is plenty of help available to expectant mums who have addictions, and in this particular case the woman was given many opportunities to stop her drinking, I also believe it was the second child born with FAS. So of course such cases should be punished. Those women who drink occasionally whilst pregnant will not suffer as a result of the law.
  2. Can I just say my son had very obvious traits of autism from as young as a few months old. WHilst his speech was ok, it was all things he picked up from telly or other adults, he still lacks in the language side of things as he could never say a meaningful sentence..created on his own accord. He was diagnosed at 6 but that was due to us moving around due to domestic abuse, otherwise he would have been dx'd probably age 3 as that's when nursery picked up on problems. He was verbally dx'd as being aspergers but actually because his behaviours are more autistic if you like his written diagnosis is autistic spectrum disorder and since his dx most children are now dx'd as autistic spectrum disorder regardless of where you are on the spectrum. This helps when getting any help because previously everyone assumed if you are HFA or aspergers you don't need as much help. People with HFA/aspergers do need SALT my son has been having it through his ASD unit since age 7 and he is now 11. Personally I would request that they give him the diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder, they may already do this anyway but once they have verbally said its aspergers or autism just check with them how the will word the diagnosis report. As for assessments they do vary depending on where you live. Sam had just 2 sessions with a paediatrician who gathered information from myself, family members, school and the GP who referred him. He then done various puzzles/games to see how he interprets things. They checked mobility/co-ordination and weight height etc. The whole process took about 2.5 months, but the school kept pushing because he was uncontrollable and they couldn't get any support for him. My other son Dan was seen age 4 and his situation was more complex, we had first been seen by a dietician due to the eating problems but once they knew about his brother ASD they thought he best get seen by CAMHS even though that wasn't where Sam was dx'd so they didn't help and finally referred to the paediatric centre where Sam got dx'd. This time it was a different paediatrician, had to give the history, has his hearing checked, then he went to a playroom with bout 5 other kids being assessed.In the room there were portage workers, SAL therapists and play therapists. They would observe the childrens interaction with their parents and other children. We then went home, the professionals would then have MDT meeting everyone has to agree on the diagnosis if one person doesn't the child will be seen again after 6mths. The diagnosis took 4.5mths to come through,but all together it took me 10months from when I saw the GP.
  3. Girls with autism

    Thanks for the replies. No her nursery don't know about her brothers' autism. I have 4 boys who are from a previous relationship(like I mentioned in my update in first paragraph...used to be a regular on here but got busy with life!) and so I just assumed nothing like this will occur with her(genetics and all that!) My other two boys are NT although my eldest is gifted and youngest was supposed to be assessed last year for dyspraxia but he seems to be doing ok now. He is also very quiet at school but has improved,it takes him awhile to get used to people....I think my daughter is similar in this way and might be all it is. The nursery said yesterday she has made some improvements over the past few months but she is still 6-10mths behind in all areas. She doesn't talk to other children but she says the odd word to adults and prefers their company. They gave us a leaflet to make an appointment to see the SALT so with that and the assessment hopefully we will know more.
  4. Girls with autism

    Hi I haven't been on here for a very long time! I finally qualified as a nurse, supposed to have started my new job but have had some minor setbacks. I also "won" a lengthy(3 years) court battle with my ex the father of my four boys and he isn't really in their lives now, he is meant to have supervised contact but has chosen not to so hasn't seen them since last December. He proved what he is like and still doesn't accept their autism. What brings me here now is.... I have a daughter with my partner she is 2 years 8mths. She has been attending nursery three days a week since April this year...after her second birthday. Around July/August we attend the first parents meeting to discuss her progress and were told she is quite behind in speech & language, social skills and mobility/co-ordination. I couldn't understand as she seems just fine to me I told her that she is not the same at home(other than walking on her toes) and she does talk and play well. Then two weeks ago my partner was called in by the manager and she said she wants to get someone in to assess her, I was so surprised as I feel she is still young and that they are being too hasty. My partner agreed anyway and of course if there is a problem best to get support sooner rather than later(been there before!) I cannot see red flags for autism comparing her to my boys, even they have some differences in their ASD so cannot see either behaviours really. The things that are noticeable is that she did take her time to talk and started walking 19months, when she did she walked on her toes all the time, now she does a bit of both. She also started removing clothing even in public from around 8months and now she refuses to wear a coat when we out. She does throw tantrums but given her age they seem normal. She doesn't have any of the food issues my boys have, which is great. I wondered how different are girls when it comes to ASD especially in toddlers, are things not as noticeable?
  5. Some advice please

    On what grounds are they excluding her? By law they cannot just exclude a child from school there are procedures to follow and you can appeal an exclusion if you feel its unfair, from what you are saying they do not have the grounds to do it and sounds more like they are saying it by way of intimidation so you can withdraw her from school...out of sight out of mind! Can you contact connections? As far as I am aware they help with post 16 education, although she is not yet post 16 perhaps they can advise you on what to do. I am guessing you have spoken to the school senco? Is she on IEP,school action? These would be the first steps for support. She doesn't need to have a diagnosis for them to provide support. If needs be write to the LA SEN department and make a formal complaint mentioning that school have discussed exclusion and you not sure why it has come to this.
  6. The thing is you worded your comment in a racist manner whether you are racist or not I do not know you so wouldn't make that judgement. If you see my post I said "that is racist" not "you are racist" big difference. I totally get your post which is why I commented how or why you think my mixed race kids "don't fit into it" baffles me. I can't see why you have to have a post that is exclusively for the white british population to reply to. If the topic is about ASD kids (or their parents) preferring to stay with a school where they best fit in....well you get ASD kids from all backgrounds so would it not be better to say is this the same for all ASD kids, wanting to stay with kids from same background or different. Mixed race kids do not suffer an identity crises unless you raise them that way. I have four mixed race boys and they don't all identify the same way. My eldest son tends to identify more with friends with a similar background, I am white but grew up in Africa and his dad is African(though from a different part)He tends to be with kids who come from the country I grew up in, not his dad's that could be because he doesn't get on with his dad. However my 10 year old as I mentioned has always believed he is white and no matter how hard you try he won't accept anything else. I do not see anything wrong with it as that is what he identifies with and ultimately what makes him happy. My 7 year old acknowledges both ethnic groups and has friends from all over the world...but that's because he goes to a catholic school which is very mixed. So despite growing up in the same environment they all have different opinions. I strongly believe the reason why some foreign groups stay together is because they often feel unwelcome in society,more so now than 10 or so years ago. London is so diverse because it is the capital and nearest to the airports so its the first place people go believing there are jobs there. Many people already have family or friends in the UK when they come here and when you come with nothing or just enough money to sustain you for a month of course you would stay with people you know to help support you. As you say religion plays a big part in it because some religions have "rules" about how far you should live to the place of worship so again it puts people in a situation where they end up living in one area. In many ways its not really by choice but by circumstance. Back to your actual post, as I said in my previous post my 10 year old had to go to a largely White school because that's who he identifies with. So I get that some children, AS or not, will be unhappy in an environment where they do not belong. I think(probably what you are saying) is ASD makes a child "different" so add to that their ethnicity it is another "difference" to overcome which can be all too much for a child. If a study was done I doubt it would be accurate. In my case I know I am not being racist sending my son to a white English school as he is mixed race but how can we be sure that some ASD kids have heard their parents saying negative comments about their school or ethnic groups and that's why they "feel" that way? By the way...my kids are all very happy and do not suffer depression, ironically on this and other forum's I see plenty of white English kids unhappy and depressed to the point they self harm. So yes I am quite sure a lot has changed in 20 years or could it be, just maybe, your science teacher was wrong!!
  7. Mainstream v Special - Autism?

    Hi I have a son in year 3 also at mainstream and he was diagnosed age 4.5 but has coped well with mainstream until now. The expectations are greater from year 3 so I think that's why mainstream is not working. His 10 year old brother was diagnosed age 6 and was in year 2 at the time. He had been playing up for two years before someone suggested ASD. He has been attending an ASD unit attached to mainstream for 3 years now and does very well. I am hoping to send my other son to the same school. I am fortunate in that there is a secondary school with the same set up not far from the primary and most of the kids move up together so he will not feel unfamiliar with things. I had to fight to get him into the school and he was out of school for six months. It was worth it and the LA provide his transport. You need to look around outside of your locality as there may be something better and the LA have to provide transport to the nearest suitable school. However you will need to provide evidence as to why the school you chose is more appropriate. Saying "she may be bullied" unfortunately won't be reason enough. First and foremost you need to speak to the school senco and express your concerns. By having them on your side things are more likely to go smoothly for you. If she is doing well academically at a mainstream my suggestion would be to try for a specialist unit within a mainstream. However if she is borderline and below average a special school would be better for her. You need to get a list and look around there is a lot of difference between each setting.
  8. Wow that is extremely racist on so many levels don't even know where to start! I see now why I hardly ever post here. Used to be regular on this forum from 2009 until about a year ago seems to have gone to the dogs.
  9. early intervention

    Hi I am not quite sure what early intervention is, is it pre or post diagnosis? I would say if it is something that is part of a "tick box" process for diagnosis or even for further help then try stick with it. I had parent support classes prior to my sons' being diagnosed. I had recently left their dad and with four boys under age 7 to look after I did need some support. The lady reduced the sessions as she did not feel I needed them. Whilst it did not help with my ASD boys it did help with my eldest son. It is about what you make it, forget about the person but focus on what they are offering/saying. It is beneficial in the long run that you work with whatever has been suggested so they cannot deny you are not trying.
  10. My two boys with ASD are mixed race and both go to schools which are mostly white british. My 7 year old goes to a RC school which is a bit more mixed compared to my 10 year olds village school. I had to fight to get my 10 year old into the school as the LA wanted him to go to the ASD unit at a school that is mostly kids of Pakistani heritage, I refused as he already had identity issues. He relates more to white british kids and this is where he has settled really well.
  11. A Nativity play or a quiz?

    I am confused. what is meant by "was the brother acting in a bad way"? I cannot see in your post what he done or said that was wrong. Also personally find it extremely unlikely that the nativity did not go ahead because of muslim parents,who you say are in the minority. This is why there are so many tensions in this country because of such mis-information, I often believe its people who start such things wishing for tensions and they usually get a result from this. My son(NT) goes to a school with 50% of the pupils being muslim and they had a nativity play and every one of the muslim pupils took part...and their parents attended! We have a school not far from where we live which is 90% muslim and they also have a nativity. So I do find this hard to believe..but could be wrong. "is popular opinion more important than catering to the needs of individuals" that is a difficult one, especially in the above situation. If they don't have a nativity and replace with a quiz some people may prefer this but the majority will not. I personally feel an opt out should always be there for anyone and a back up plan for those who chose to opt out. My kids have usually had a xmas fayre, nativity, xmas class party and usually have monthly quiz nights. So it is possible for everyone to be happy if its done correctly.
  12. Christmas and kids with AS

    I have one(age 7) who couldn't care less about Christmas, its just any other day to him. He is not all that interested in presents and never asks for anything. He doesn't like any traditional xmas food so will just eat his usual selection. Then I have one(age 10) who loves Christmas but everything has to be done by the book! The 12 days of Christmas rule applies and he still strongly believes in father Christmas. He therefore has to get what he requests(the list is usually not very long though) He loves all the traditional foods mince pies, trifle etc, but will not eat these any other time of the year. He hates going out though and has got worse with age. So is unlikely to attend the panto and did not want to see father Christmas chose to just write him a letter.
  13. It's confirmed I am an Aspie.

    Thats brilliant to hear! My uni is not really supportive of students needing extra support. We lost two students who would have been brilliant nurses but were not given the support they needed. Sounds positive all round I wish you all the best on your journey.
  14. It's confirmed I am an Aspie.

    Thats great news Dekra. How does it feel to finally know? Are you going to get more support at uni?
  15. Rain Man

    I had watched Rain man quite young and therefore prior to having kids,or getting their diagnosis.I had also only ever met one person with autism,my primary school teacher had a son(was age 4/5 whilst I was at the school) with autism and often he had to bring him to our class. So my knowledge was limited. I thought the acting was very good though. I have since watched it twice,in the space of 6years. I still think the acting is very good. The story is depicting someone on the mid-low end of the spectrum so is well portrayed. The negative is of course that this is the most known film about autism (though there are many others) and played by two of the most famous actors. Therefore the general population make the assumption that all those with autism will be like that of Rain man,making it hard for people to understand those on the mid-high end of the spectrum.
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