Just had enough of this, K changing school ?

[sawjd]

Hello Anybody out there who can help,

 

It been some weeks now since i was last on here and feel i need to pour my heart out (figure of speech)today but first i would like to ask a question and peoples advice. I want to make things better for us all but don't know how to. As people know on here and on my profile i have dyspraxia (mild). I feel i am letting people down. I just need to explain. K (7) is expected to go up to year 3 and the SENCO has not sent any advice or metnioned anything about continued support for him in this year group. Me and OH have put in for another school and we are waiting for confirmation of this. This school we are asking for is nearer to us which means getting k there in the morinings would be easier for me and OH could get to work on time. Currently without OH driving i would have to take k on the bus and then walk afterwards to the school (year 3 is in the school adjacent to infants school that he currently attends. OHs MS (multiple schlerosis) is getting slowly worse and we need to make adjustments. One of the adjustments would be Ks school possibly. I do struggle to organsie my time and my memory seems to be slow or none existent. All this and lack of sleep has made life in the past few weeks even more difficult. I could sleep now. I can't keep up with the paperwork and the house and garden is a constant source of argument for D as he says why don't i just get on with it. A week ago i cut down the brambles in our 60 foot garden and sufered a really bad allergic reaction (ankles puffed up and the doctor gave me antibiotics). D says to me 'do i care what your ankles are like ?'. This constant being picked upon to by all men in the household brings me down. K on occasions sees this and copies but i do try and put a stop to it.

 

My question is this and it relates to k, are we making it worse by sending K to another school (this school he is at is not bothered now with K). He seems to be getting on in the playground, as no issues have been raised about behaviour (great) academically he is still behind and in the mornings he is now employing advoidance tatics to delay getting in to school so he missess the beginning of the day, he does not engage with other children, so would we be making it worse by sending him to start all over again in another school despite the fact this school he is currently attending don't give a toss. I am not allowed to see Ks work, i have been told that i have to make an appointment, yet there is no books in his tray and his home/school book has been missing for days and when i have had it in the past they rarely write anything.

 

Last night we saw first hand how K is with other children. We were invited to a First Communion and K wanted to go home as soon as the disco music was on. People could still hear enough and talk to one another and the other children were not bothered by the sound of the music. K would not say hello to other people and just went off by himself over in the corner of a pub (they hired a special room for the communion)and took his vengence out on balloons. The boy (whose communion it was came over with his mum and said hello) K just looked down and ignored him and all other people who tried to say hello. These people are OHs work colleagues and OH has not told them about K. I have tried to explain but people just play it down all the time. Its getting me down. I was upset for k not being able to even try and make friends.

 

D (19) has been keeping me up in recent nights, refusing to go to bed and being left to his own devices downstairs, one day after work at 11pm he insisted on having his hair cut and i had to give in as this row was progressing and OH just wanted to sleep, he can't stand the rows, i really try and pick my battles but somdays my head is just swimming and just not focussed. On occasions when i have been out i found he has been going through my things and feel i can't trust him anymore. I have explained about boundaries and his room is his room, and he claims i go in there all the time when i don't. I seriously don't dare willingly touch his stuff but because both boys share the room i have to clean it when it gets really bad and i have explained about tidying up and getting him to do it himself, D says its my job but doesn't want me in the room going through his things so we constantly have the same arguments. His understanding is that he has to work because i don't and he truly believes that. I have said on many occasions that i still have to find a job even though he is working. These rows make me want to cry, i serioulsy do not know how to hold down a job and cope with the demands of homelife. I had a job back in 2007 but lost it during probabtion as i could not keep up wtih the work load. OH does not want me to work but won't explain to other people why,(is he so ashamed of me and K?) so people think i am lazy and i hate not paying my way. i felt this last night as other people were offering to pay for drinks and i could not get a round in. Its not often we get invited out and this last night was a rare occasion. Just want to make things better, jsut don't know how.

 

Any advice at all. Sorry if all my paragraphs don't make much sense. This is how it is for me today and most days come to think of it.

 

I can't affored to be depressed even as each prescription cost £7.50. I really don't know how other people can be so positive and upbeat when i know that some other people have it worse than me and just put a brave face on things. I was in such a positive frame of mind last night asi did not want to spoil the day but behind the smiles was something else and i felt like such a liar. I have no support from family as they obviously have too many cruises to go (its all the brother in law can speak about to me when i have visisted my sister in essex) I have only seen her twice this year. Yet she is only 40 minutes away by car. Just feel very isolated. I have been on to another site for dyspraxic adults and have just joined but not sure what help is available. Thanks for reading. Sorry its a long post.

 

Best wishes

Sarni

[sawjd]

Hello Anybody out there who can help,

 

It been some weeks now since i was last on here and feel i need to pour my heart out (figure of speech)today but first i would like to ask a question and peoples advice. I want to make things better for us all but don't know how to. As people know on here and on my profile i have dyspraxia (mild). I feel i am letting people down. I just need to explain. K (7) is expected to go up to year 3 and the SENCO has not sent any advice or metnioned anything about continued support for him in this year group. Me and OH have put in for another school and we are waiting for confirmation of this. This school we are asking for is nearer to us which means getting k there in the morinings would be easier for me and OH could get to work on time. Currently without OH driving i would have to take k on the bus and then walk afterwards to the school (year 3 is in the school adjacent to infants school that he currently attends. OHs MS (multiple schlerosis) is getting slowly worse and we need to make adjustments. One of the adjustments would be Ks school possibly. I do struggle to organsie my time and my memory seems to be slow or none existent. All this and lack of sleep has made life in the past few weeks even more difficult. I could sleep now. I can't keep up with the paperwork and the house and garden is a constant source of argument for D as he says why don't i just get on with it. A week ago i cut down the brambles in our 60 foot garden and sufered a really bad allergic reaction (ankles puffed up and the doctor gave me antibiotics). D says to me 'do i care what your ankles are like ?'. This constant being picked upon to by all men in the household brings me down. K on occasions sees this and copies but i do try and put a stop to it.

 

My question is this and it relates to k, are we making it worse by sending K to another school (this school he is at is not bothered now with K). He seems to be getting on in the playground, as no issues have been raised about behaviour (great) academically he is still behind and in the mornings he is now employing advoidance tatics to delay getting in to school so he missess the beginning of the day, he does not engage with other children, so would we be making it worse by sending him to start all over again in another school despite the fact this school he is currently attending don't give a toss. I am not allowed to see Ks work, i have been told that i have to make an appointment, yet there is no books in his tray and his home/school book has been missing for days and when i have had it in the past they rarely write anything.

 

Last night we saw first hand how K is with other children. We were invited to a First Communion and K wanted to go home as soon as the disco music was on. People could still hear enough and talk to one another and the other children were not bothered by the sound of the music. K would not say hello to other people and just went off by himself over in the corner of a pub (they hired a special room for the communion)and took his vengence out on balloons. The boy (whose communion it was came over with his mum and said hello) K just looked down and ignored him and all other people who tried to say hello. These people are OHs work colleagues and OH has not told them about K. I have tried to explain but people just play it down all the time. Its getting me down. I was upset for k not being able to even try and make friends.

 

D (19) has been keeping me up in recent nights, refusing to go to bed and being left to his own devices downstairs, one day after work at 11pm he insisted on having his hair cut and i had to give in as this row was progressing and OH just wanted to sleep, he can't stand the rows, i really try and pick my battles but somdays my head is just swimming and just not focussed. On occasions when i have been out i found he has been going through my things and feel i can't trust him anymore. I have explained about boundaries and his room is his room, and he claims i go in there all the time when i don't. I seriously don't dare willingly touch his stuff but because both boys share the room i have to clean it when it gets really bad and i have explained about tidying up and getting him to do it himself, D says its my job but doesn't want me in the room going through his things so we constantly have the same arguments. His understanding is that he has to work because i don't and he truly believes that. I have said on many occasions that i still have to find a job even though he is working. These rows make me want to cry, i serioulsy do not know how to hold down a job and cope with the demands of homelife. I had a job back in 2007 but lost it during probabtion as i could not keep up wtih the work load. OH does not want me to work but won't explain to other people why,(is he so ashamed of me and K?) so people think i am lazy and i hate not paying my way. i felt this last night as other people were offering to pay for drinks and i could not get a round in. Its not often we get invited out and this last night was a rare occasion. Just want to make things better, jsut don't know how.

 

Any advice at all. Sorry if all my paragraphs don't make much sense. This is how it is for me today and most days come to think of it.

 

I can't affored to be depressed even as each prescription cost £7.50. I really don't know how other people can be so positive and upbeat when i know that some other people have it worse than me and just put a brave face on things. I was in such a positive frame of mind last night asi did not want to spoil the day but behind the smiles was something else and i felt like such a liar. I have no support from family as they obviously have too many cruises to go (its all the brother in law can speak about to me when i have visisted my sister in essex) I have only seen her twice this year. Yet she is only 40 minutes away by car. Just feel very isolated. I have been on to another site for dyspraxic adults and have just joined but not sure what help is available. Thanks for reading. Sorry its a long post.

 

Best wishes

Sarni

 

[sawjd]

Sorry just wanted to add that (last paragraph) about £7.50 for prescriptions. I wanted to take anti depressants but it would cost me £7.50 for few tablets depending on what the dotor says and how many i can have. OH and D are the only ones working and i can't afford anything. I am 40 years old, is this what they call a mid life crisis ?.

 

sarni.