Adult Diagnosis

[Andyj]

Hi, I hope someone can offer some advise. I am a 34 year old Dad of 2, my eldest was diagnosed with ASD just after his 2nd birthday (he is nearly 4).

 

My advice is more for myself. What I have learned about autism in the last 2 years has answered a lot of questions about myself. I have never really fitted in and have a lot more trouble than I would deem "normal" dealing with day to day life.

 

I have a number of symptoms that I would say tie in with AS as well as others that may suggest other problems. I have made a list this morning of symptons (big and small) and also why they are a problem in the hope of maybe doing something constructive with the list.

 

Symptoms

 

- Very uncomfortable in social situations

- Don't understand small talk

- Obsessive over subjects

- Pica

- Can't sit with my back to people

- Don't like going in shops I have never been in before

- Problems with personal space

- Problems with close eye contact

- Rocking when eating

- Banging head feels good

- Migraines (probably not connected)

- Problems with organisation

- Feelings of detachment

- Very bad short term memory

- I don't like shop checkouts because the cashier can see what I'm buying

- I find it very hard talking to people – having to respond in certain ways completely baffles me

- Problems sleeping/getting into a bed that someone else (my wife) is already in.

- Love of puzzles - (I used to have an obsession with Rubik puzzles I had a collection of, my fastest time doing the cube is under a minute)

- When I was younger I would go to the library every Saturday just to organise their books (I would do it secretly)

- Sandwiches. I can spend a long time making a sandwich. I need to have exactly the same amount of butter spread evenly across the bread right up to the corners and the same with whatever filling is in. This is so every bite of the sandwich is the same.

 

 

Why is it a problem?

 

- Causing problems with family life – I often sleep on the floor or couch because I feel uncomfortable going to bed.

- Problems with work – I never fulfil my potential because I get caught up in smaller matters (such as spacing within spreadsheets and colouring of cells takes priority over the work I am doing)that I make a big deal of, or I don't make enough effort to exceed or even meet expectation .

- I don't feel like I'm the same as everyone else or that I fit in – even with friends.

- Problems with expectations in personal relationship – especially when my wife expects certain responses from me. If she is blocking my only way out of a room while we are talking, I ended up making motions as if I am trying to duck around her or pace furiously around the room until the way is clear (I am worried about this one because it is a real feeling of anxiety that I have trouble controlling).

- Organising myself is a problem in both my work and home, coupled with my short term memory I don't get things done that need doing (sometimes even though I know they need doing I won't know where to start – even for something as simple as washing the dishes)

- I feel affected by myself in nearly every aspect of my life, or that I am holding myself back for no other reason than myself.

 

 

Please don't get me wrong - I am not a walking bag of nerves at risk of snapping as I have built up numerous coping strategies over the years, but it doesn't stop my confusion and frustration on the inside.

 

But it does impact on my life and my behaviour is sometimes commented on as being weird or "not normal".

 

The advise I am looking for is for the following questions;

 

 

Should I approach a doctor about getting diagnosed?

If I did - who should I approach - I really don't want to sound prejudiced, but my GP's are foreign and I have a hard enough time explaining physical complaints, let alone something llike this.

Is there a point to getting a diagnosis - what can diagnosis offer me?

 

 

I think the main thing I would get from a diagnosis is acknowledgement that I am different and there is a reason why I feel like this, but I am interested in finding out what other help I could get.

 

Thanks for reading, and for any advice offered.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

It's actually not uncommon (so I'm told) during the course of a child's diagnosis, for a parent to go on to be assessed. My son was 4.5 when he was diagnosed. My son's consultant and another professional both asked as subtly as they could if I suspected my husband might have AS too. They advised that they felt that was a distinct possibility. My son's consultant provided some forms and advised if it was something we wanted to proceed with, she could establish a score for my husband and then make a referral. My husband as the moment isn't interested in establishing if he has AS, though he swings from expressing he believes he does to complete denial! I'd very much like to know one way or another - I'm going to make a rather clumsy analogy, but I think it may be similar to someone whose been adopted (the desire to know who you are, have explanations, answers, etc) - it's about knowing who you are and accepting oneself.

 

In the first instance, try your GP - explain that you're child was diagnosed and during the course of the process you've learnt a great deal about ASDs and you feel that a lot of it may relate to you. Remember GPs are general practitioners, they're not experts and so don't be put off it s/he offers no way forward. Try again. You could also contact NAS for advice.

 

Regards

 

Caroline.