Tearful moment

[justine1]

Hi

 

I am having a sad moment today I got Dan's assessment report today(2 mths after his assessment)I wasnt sure what to expect really as he was assessed by a MDT,Sam was not. Anyway it has on it has his chronological age which is 53mths and then he has scores underneath, for his hearing,locomotive and manipulative skills he was above his age at 60mths. For his congnitive and visual skills he scored just below his age at 48mths. But scored low for speech and language at 30mths, self care at 36mths and the very worst interactive social skills just 24 mths

 

It really hit me hard cause his younger brother is 26mths and it means they are likely to be at the same level socially

 

He has been referred back to CAMHS for his eating and to early years for school.They will also see him again in 6weeks time.Does anyone know if at the 6mth appt these scores will be reviewed? I have no experience of this as Sam had the diagnostic test and result only not a breakdown of where he is.

 

Thank you

[call me jaded]

It's always a shock to see things written down, isn't it? They tend to leave longer than six months before repeating tests, but it sounds as if they're doing all they should, which is positive.

[baddad]

Hi Justine -

 

It is, as jaded has said, always a shock to see things in black and white. I don't know how often they redo these things, but I think it will vary by region. Certainly if too close together, though, they're going to be able to tell you very little, especially as skill levels can fluctuate greatly even on a day to day basis (dunno about you, but one poor nights sleep or 'bad start' to a morning can make a huge difference to my functioning for the day!).

The important thing is you now have some very clear indicators of things you and the school and everyone else involved in Dan's life can be supporting him with, as well as some clear indicators of things you can be more relaxed about. That knowledge, applied both directly as part of 'structured' interventions and indirectly to aspects of his/your everyday lives, is going to help him achieve everything that he can achieve.

 

It is hard when you (and they) are going through it, but this kind of spikey profile is very common in autism. While some aspects of 'social' awareness will always be compromised, other aspects, even if significantly delayed in terms of the predicted milestones,will come eventually, and/or coping strategies to help circumnavigate any gaps that are left.

Something else to think about is that these milestones, especially ones like 'socialisation', are all measured against an NT medical model of perfection that really doesn't apply to autistic people, and that can be totally irrelevent to their personal needs. As adults people choose to socialise in very different ways; some are party animals who can't stand to be alone while others prefer solitude or a very small circle of close friends. Neither choice is wrong, and neither psychological 'type' is either - they're just different.

Of course, that doesn't mean helping Dan to socialise more fully is a wasted effort, because what you are fostering by 'pushing' at the boundaries is a conceptual understanding that will help him make informed choices later on, rather than choices that arise from anxiety or ignorance.

 

So feel free to have a good boo today and no one will hold it against you. But I'm sure you'll soon see some of the positives that the report highlights, and the more general positive of the understanding it provides into Dan's areas of need and 'pick up the baton' again.

 

L&P

 

BD

[justine1]

Thank you Jaded and Baddad <'>

 

I am now looking at the positives rather than focusing on the negatives. The great things is I really believe he is going to be fine in school.Dan seems to cope better and focus more on tasks than Sam does, although he doesnt notice other children at all and it isnt nice when his classmates greet him and he doesnt seem to care,but he is 4 1/2.I believe with the right support he will be okay

 

Although his dad doesnt want to acknowledge the autism he has seen the negative behaviour(tantrums,bed wetting,hyperactivity etc.) and he is working hard to help these areas,so I cant complain in that sense.He is talking alot more,longer more detailed sentences,though its not always clear,both his dad and I think he is coming along sooooooooo well.