ma nan's first year anniversary on sunday

[smiley1590]

it's ma nan's first anniversary on sunday i'm dreading it and scared as how my mum will react... how she'll cope ... i'm can feel myself getting worked up ... angry ... i'm hurting behind closed doors... so hard watching eastenders at the moment surrounding grief and death i know it is over a young adult but can get how carol feels in her grief ... i know can compare mine to losing a child totally different ... so heartwrenching ... emotional.... really has effect on me big style.... think my uncle is coming down from derby on sunday spend it with us .... don't know if going to want to be around anyone just want shut myself away in my bedroom or go out for the day on my own scared could get out of control ... getttin dangerous impulsive

 

eastenders has brought up raw emotions i'm hiding from running from catches up with me as a night .... feel SO ALONE...

 

XKLX

[Karen A]

it's ma nan's first anniversary on sunday i'm dreading it and scared as how my mum will react... how she'll cope ... i'm can feel myself getting worked up ... angry ... i'm hurting behind closed doors... so hard watching eastenders at the moment surrounding grief and death i know it is over a young adult but can get how carol feels in her grief ... i know can compare mine to losing a child totally different ... so heartwrenching ... emotional.... really has effect on me big style.... think my uncle is coming down from derby on sunday spend it with us .... don't know if going to want to be around anyone just want shut myself away in my bedroom or go out for the day on my own scared could get out of control ... getttin dangerous impulsive

 

eastenders has brought up raw emotions i'm hiding from running from catches up with me as a night .... feel SO ALONE...

 

XKLX

 

 

Hi.

If East Enders is upsetting you please try to not watch it. <'> <'>

The story lines can be difficult.Considering the time it is on some of the issues are upsetting and the pictures can be very graphic.

I do not watch it because it upsetts me.

It is good self-care to decide to avoid watching things things that upsett you especially if you are feeling vulnerable at the minute.

 

The first anniversary is bound to be a difficult time but it is possible to cope. <'>

 

Karen.

[Sammysnake]

I can fully understand why you're feeling so overwhelmed and scared of how you're going to feel. When I lost my dad and it was coming to the first anniversary, mum and I started reliving the day remembering how we felt at each stage and all the detail of what happened. However, it wasn't quite as painful as it was when it first happened and we found that we got through it and it was a bit easier afterwards.

 

It's possible to build the day up in your mind to be much worse than it has to be. Try to remind yourself that you've gotten through the worst - the loss and the adjustment to life without your nan. You loved her deeply and will always miss her but in my experience the pain gets less sharp after the first anniversary of everything has gone.

 

I definitely agree that watching Eastenders is not a good idea at the moment - you have enough pain of your own to add to it with that of others, even those on TV which can feel just as real. I don't know your situation but if possible, I would suggest it's not doing you or your mum any good you trying to hide your feelings. It won't make her any more upset to know that you're hurting too - shared grief makes it easier on everyone. As to what to do on the day - do whatever you need to do. If that's a walk in the fresh air then do that or alone time in your room then do that. Discussing it beforehand with your family might be helpful so that they know if you want to be left alone and won't insist on spending time with you because they think that's what you need.

 

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. Your nan must have been a completely incredible lady to have inspired such love for her. Try to focus on all your positive memories of her. Big hugs, Sam.

[Mandapanda]

Hi

 

I lost my sister a few years ago. I still find storylines that are related in some way can have me in tears. My sister had breast cancer and recently there was a storyline about this in Coronation Street. I cried through all the relevant scenes, but in a way it was good as it was bringing the emotions out that are inside me, which is a way of progressing with grief.

 

Personally I find Eastenders very negative and aggressive with lots of shouting and arguing, and very negative examples of 'coping strategies' such as drugs and alcohol.

 

You can't change what has happened, and the first anniversary, birthdays, mothering sunday, etc, can all be difficult. But I believe you have to go through these emotions to come to terms with it, and it will get better the more time that passes.

 

You all loved your Nan that's why you feel so sad - it's a real demonstration of the love you shared.

 

Thinking of you x