Greetings

[InterestedSon]

Hi there,

 

Been lurking on this forum for a while. What a great supportive community it is. Reason I came here was basically 30 years of trying to understand my dad's behaviour. He's 76 and I've come to the conclusion he may have undiagnosed Aspergers. He's:

 

1. Highly obsessional

2. Unable to deal with money. We've always just thhought he was reckless but recently I realised he doesn't understand money at all. Just doesn't get it at all.

3. He's contantly buying things he doesn't need. Like I found 10 brand new inkjet cartridges in a cupboard. He told me he needed that many in case he ran out.

4. Very impulsive.

5. Very driven by a strict routine. Take him outside it and he becomes stressed, sometimes aggressive.

6. Lacks empathy. Seems totally unaware to the feelings of others

7. Socially very awkward. Always misreads social situations and says inappropriate things. Certain situations he's ok but only within very strict boundaries.

 

He's always been like this. Ever since I remember so it's not because he's old. I don't guess it makes very much difference now he's reached the age he has but I'm just trying to rationalise the way he has behaved for years.

[Stella63]

Hi Interested son,

 

I, too, have a father who was a complete mystery to me all the time I was growing up and into my adulthood. I thought him to be completely devoid of emotion, both to myself and my brother, and also towards my mum, very awkward in social situations, would walk past me in the street, had some very strange habits like nose picking which he would do publicly and lots of strange tics which I can remember as a teenager I was just so embarrassed about.

 

It was not until my own kids were diagnosed with AS and all the co-morbids that they have that made me realise that it is my dad that is AS and has Tourettes and I am beginning to understand who he is and what makes him tick. My mum died 11 years ago and she always knew that he had 'issues' as she also knew my brother did and was beginning to see in my eldest son. I wish she was still here to understand because it all makes sense to me now and I do love my dad inspite of his 'issues'. He can't see it in himself, he is 79, but he is interested to a degree with what is happening with his grand children and suggests that their problems stem from my mothers side of the family!!

 

Stella xx

[Kathryn]

Welcome. If he's 76 he's probably getting along fine and figured out how to get along in the world, AS or not. But your tentative conclusions may help you to make sense of things.

 

I think my own dad aged 83 is certainly "spectrummy" - he's marched to a different drum all his life and is still doing it . I would never share with him what I feel - no need - as he's quite content, but just bearing this possibility in mind has actually improved my relationship with him, I think.

 

K x

[Karen A]

Hi.

If your father has always been as you describe but anything has changed to make you think he might be more so I wonder if it might be worth talking to the GP to request a psychogeriatric assessment if your father agrees.

 

It may be that your father has undiagnosed AS.However some of the things you describe if increasing could also be signs of depression,anxiety or early senile dementia.It could be that your father has AS but also now has other mental health problems mentioned which can all be helped if picked up.So please think about other possible explanations as well as AS.

 

A psychogeriatrician probably would offer very little in the way of advice about AS because AS has not been around long enough for it to crop up for them very often. However it might offer some reasurance to have an opinion regarding the other issues.

 

Karen.

Edited November 8, 2010 by Karen A