Hello

[Beth_]

Hi

I've just joined although I've felt that I've had Aspergers since a doctor mentioned it 5 years ago and I did a lot of reading and it all made sense.

Recently I've decided to go through the diagnosis process in the hope of getting some answers.

I'm keeping a blog of my experiences to share it with other adult women who are going through the same thing. http://www.aspergirl.co.uk/

[Karen A]

Hi Beth and Welcome to the Forum

 

Karen.

[Tally]

Hi Beth, nice to see you over here. Small world!

 

I'm guessing your avatar is your own artwork?

[Kathryn]

Hi Beth, welcome to the forum.

 

Fantastic avatar!

 

K x

[JsMum]

Hi Beth, I had a little peek at your website, wow well done and think its a great idea, it will help you and others out there, Ive not read Aspergirls, but might now.

 

I recommend you contact National Autistic Society too, they send you an information pack and information too.

 

Also they have services that you maybe able to tap into and get support.

 

I think you where very brave to sit and wait in the waiting room like that, my own son can not cope in the waiting room and now has a little room adujustant to the rest of the patience after a distrubance from a previous visit and I now write down all of our difficulties in a letter so I can request it be added to his medical file.

 

I feel the stage you are at for a possible diagnosis, is the scariest and most stressful as you have so many uncertain answers.

 

In the meantime I would continue writing about your difficulties as it gives you evidence for the future assessments and if you do get distressed in the assessments at least you can give something in written format.

 

I think ASD in girls/women is the most difficult to detect and many of the symptoms can be pinned on mental/phyical problems so understand your situatio to your past.

 

 

I wish you the very best, and hope that in the meantime you can recieve the best support as your going throw the hardest bit.

 

JsMumx

[Beth_]

Thank you for the welcomes.

 

I've contacted the NAS and they've sent me email addresses of some people to contact in my area who might be able to offer help. I'm so glad I can do these things via email. The place I was referred to a long time ago wanted to do contact via phones and I just can't do it. I don't answer my phone to anyone but my mum.

 

The avatar is some of my artwork. I find drawing really theraputic. I can get lost in it for hours. I'm obsessed with cats so they get drawn the most

[Kathryn]

I love cats too - but I can't draw! Do you have any more examples of your artwork anywhere? I like your style.

 

K x

[Beth_]

There are so of my pictures on Flickr here

 

[Karen A]

There are so of my pictures on Flickr here

 

 

They are really very good.

 

Karen.

[Sammysnake]

Beautiful pictures, so intricate. My daughter is very into cats at the moment, I'll show her these when she gets home and I suspect she'll be designing her own shortly in a similar style in homage to your .

[Beth_]

Thank you for the nice comments about my drawing. I've starting using it as a coping technique. At uni I find it really difficult in seminars and lectures and in the past have chewed at my fingers and nails so much that they bled awfuly. Then I'd be in lots of pain and couldn't focus properly because of that. It was a real vicious circle. Now I put all the anxiety into doodling. It doesn't help me take in the information in the lecture though! I'm so greaful that they all get put up online so I can go through them on my own.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4014/5167132492_7ddc148705.jpg

 

I'm finding writing my blog really helpful. It's putting so many things in perspective, like today, writing about my previous jobs and why they all failed. I'm thinking I might print some of it out for when I go and see someone about this as I can't articulate what I mean face to face. I'm still waiting to hear from the doctor who I saw on Tuesday, he said he'd phone by the end of the week.

[Tally]

One thing that helped me was when my mum wrote a short document about things she'd noticed about me throughout my childhood. It helped to show that this was lifelong, and that someone else apart from myself had noticed it too. When all my problems had been put down to mental health issues, my mum's document was good evidence that it was something a bit more and helped me get a diagnosis.

[Beth_]

I think I will ask my mum, she isn't shy about telling people about how strange I am and what a problem child I was. My dad refuses to even talk about it.

I'm hoping that if I get a diagnosis then my parents will stop being critical and actually try and understand me rather than battle with me. I'm fed up with being told I was a '###### awful child' all the time and about how I need to grow up and live in the real world. This is my world.

[JsMum]

I think I will ask my mum, she isn't shy about telling people about how strange I am and what a problem child I was. My dad refuses to even talk about it.

I'm hoping that if I get a diagnosis then my parents will stop being critical and actually try and understand me rather than battle with me. I'm fed up with being told I was a '###### awful child' all the time and about how I need to grow up and live in the real world. This is my world.

 

 

Have you recieved any form of councilling for what you experienced by your parents, it will be very painful to remember remarks like that even if you havent got AS they had no right to talk about you like that, it sounds like some councilling could help you deal with the comments you grew up with, could it be possible your parents have any ASD traits, not saying that excuses their behaviour but it could be they had social interaction difficulties too.

 

JsMumx

[Karen A]

Have you recieved any form of councilling for what you experienced by your parents, it will be very painful to remember remarks like that even if you havent got AS they had no right to talk about you like that, it sounds like some councilling could help you deal with the comments you grew up with, could it be possible your parents have any ASD traits, not saying that excuses their behaviour but it could be they had social interaction difficulties too.

 

JsMumx

 

I hope I can put this in a way that is helpful.

Some parents are sadly critical and unhelpful in the ways they talk to their children which is extremely painful.

This may be for any one of many complex reasons.

However please do not make an association between inadequate unhelpful parenting and possible Social Communication Difficulties in parents.

Karen.

[Karen A]

I think I will ask my mum, she isn't shy about telling people about how strange I am and what a problem child I was. My dad refuses to even talk about it.

I'm hoping that if I get a diagnosis then my parents will stop being critical and actually try and understand me rather than battle with me. I'm fed up with being told I was a '###### awful child' all the time and about how I need to grow up and live in the real world. This is my world.

 

Hi Beth.

If you are hoping to obtain assessment for AS as an adult it is very likely that information regarding you as a child will be needed from your parents.If obtaining information from your parents might be a very negative experience or the information might not be forthcoming please do consider the impact this might have on you.

 

I had a very difficult family history which was explored in detail during assessments for AS for my son Ben.It was very traumatic.I have been told that professionals would never be able to do AS assessments for me.

 

I think it might be worth exploring the pros and cons of assessment.It can create difficult feelings in itself and may be something you could need support with if you have a difficult history.

 

I can recommend counselling .

 

Karen.

[Mumble]

I hope I can put this in a way that is helpful.

Some parents are sadly critical and unhelpful in the ways they talk to their children which is extremely painful.

This may be for any one of many complex reasons.

However please do not make an association between inadequate unhelpful parenting and possible Social Communication Difficulties in parents.

Karen.

Thanks, Karen, I wanted to say the same - that negative parental behaviours should not be associated with an ASD (even if the parents do have an ASD this does not excuse the behaviour) - but was worried about how my views would be received.

[Beth_]

I have tried counselling in the past but the woman kept trying to interpret my body language and telling me how I felt and it wasn't how I felt so I just kept getting angry and stopped going. When I talked to my doctor on Tuesday about getting a diagnosis I did say that even if I don't get diagnosed I still need help and someone to talk to.

 

I respect what you say about my parents and I have thought about it in the past, especialy with my father. We've never been able to communicate properly. The only thing is that he gets on well with my brother and sister and if I say anything about him to them they don't believe me. Neither of them can understand why I've ever had a problem with him. I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about it and he told me to shut up. We are quite similar which is why I think we clash.

 

I think my mother will support me with assessment though as she did try desperately to get me help as a child and says that she wants to understand me. She would have continued trying to get a diagnosis for me when a doctor mentioned Aspergers but my dad wouldn't let her. It might also stop her getting so frustrated with me for not hugging her.

 

Thank you for all your replies, I appreciate it.

I had really paranoid dreams last night that there was a thread about how everyone should avoid me because I'm bad so it's nice to come back to helpful messages. I don't feel able to talk to people in my life about this apart from my partner is who is very understanding. I'm scared of being judged.

[Mumble]

I have tried counselling in the past but the woman kept trying to interpret my body language and telling me how I felt and it wasn't how I felt so I just kept getting angry and stopped going. When I talked to my doctor on Tuesday about getting a diagnosis I did say that even if I don't get diagnosed I still need help and someone to talk to.

Hi, I've had some similar difficulties with counselling in the past that was psycho-analytic based as the counsellor got very cross with me for not being able to describe / identify feelings.

 

However, I now have an excellent counsellor and feel I have made a lot of (although slow) progress. My counsellor uses a CBT approach which is suggested to be appropriate for those on the autistic spectrum and I've found it is something I can understand, apply and use. It might be worth asking your GP about seeing a CBT therapist.

[Karen A]

I respect what you say about my parents and I have thought about it in the past, especialy with my father. We've never been able to communicate properly. The only thing is that he gets on well with my brother and sister and if I say anything about him to them they don't believe me. Neither of them can understand why I've ever had a problem with him. I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about it and he told me to shut up. We are quite similar which is why I think we clash

 

It is possible for many reasons for parents to relate differently to individual children compared with others.It may be that he does get on with your brother and sister.They may not understand why you have a problem with him.However your experience may be nothing like theirs. <'>

 

Karen.

[Kathryn]

Thanks for sharing more of your pictures, they are also fantastic.

 

K x