Posting inappropriate comments on Facebook exclusion!!

[jade cat]

Hello all I am sorry I make my introduction to this board by asking for your advice!!

My son J is 15 he has Asperger's syndrome and some complex medical conditions, he attends a mainstream community school, where he has worked very hard and is a kind and caring pupil, SENCO told us this at his Annual review last month.

Ok On the 11th Nov J reply's to a fellow pupils facebook status he made some very valid points and the conisation went on.

On Fri at school the pupil that wrote the status got really cross with J then took her anger out on my other son A whom had come alone to see what was going on. Pupil makes a derogatory comment my boys walk off to their exam, by end of day stories are rumbling around school that J said something disrespectful to another pupil. J comes home and continues the debate on FB. J sent a graphic PM to the lad that threatened A it was very graphic and sadly mentioned going on the rampage.!!! (not good), then a short while later J posts a heartfelt apology to all on the thread. But this debate goes on until Sunday when J locks his FB account as he has had threats made to him by an older boy, because the stories going around school about comments J supposedly said.

School Mon J is taken out of his maths lesson and told to go see senior member of staff. Once there he is told to write an apology letter to the 2 pupils supposedly involved. He said he did not think he should because the one pupil put horrid stuff on FB and that the other stories where not true! Then J said the teacher had a wobbly and just kept going on about he would not leave the room until he wrote this letter!! well after about an hour of this J said he was very frightened tired and hungry, so he just wrote the letter so he could get away.

Tues, both my boys have other pupils coming up to them threatening them and saying that all this stuff must be true coz they saw a letter J wrote!!!

I write to school Q their handling of this matter!!!!

Lots of other stuff goes on the next few days, boys are given 1 day internal J is given 2 days external for inappropriate comments on FB and A is given 1 day external for lying to a member of staff.

Come Fri. I attend a meeting with deputy head, 2 community PC's head explains the gravity of the offence, the action the school has taken. Then the PC's read a copy of the FB thread, they say while it is offensive and graphic in parts it is typical of FB stuff and the police would not be interested in acting on this. Re the very graphic PM the PC's said it again is not a matter the police would be best placed in handling possibly a matter for outside bodies CAMHS mentioned. The PC's go on to tell me and the deputy head that their main concern was for my boys safety so much so that they gave me a log number to and told me to phone 999 should the boys be threatened in any way.!!

OK folks what do you think we should be doing we are just so confused at the mo.

[Karen A]

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-education-for-parents/Anti_Bullying

 

ACE have excellent advice on bullying on the download on the link above which may be useful.

 

They also have other information on the same site with regard to exclusion.Make sure school are documenting all exculsions as per ACE advice.However an internal exclusion is most probably a sanction but not an exculsion.

 

Keep a copy of the log number.Ensure that your son knows what to do if there are further problems if he is threatened while out on his own.My elder son has been threatened five times in the last eighteen months..two of which involved the police whilst outside.I know it is a worry.

 

Karen.

[Sally44]

As school acted about inappropriate things your children said on FB, what are they doing about the threats they are receiving in school?

[Suze]

ok....my son is the same age and has a facebook account, the one proviso of him having one , was that he also added me as a friend.I did this so I could check daily what was being said etc.I have a friend whose daughter suffered badly by rumours and gossip and ended up having to move schools.Facebook can be a nightmare in many ways and kids say stuff on there that they would never dream of saying face to face.It sounds like your son situation needs diffusing now before more stupid stuff happens and I feel the school should be the ones to calm things down, best wishes suzex

[Bluesbreaker]

Facebook is pretty goddamn evil

[Kathryn]

Schools can act when there is bullying outside the school environment, and should have a something in their antibullying policies which includeds cyberbullying - (the govt. guidance on bullying does). However it's hard to see how schools can deal with every cyber-related incident and maybe schools shouldn't get involved in the minutiae of who said what to whom on Facebook. But if threats are made in school as a result, the school should take those seriously.

 

Get a copy of the school's anti bullying policy and check what the school should be doing to protect your son.

 

I agree Facebook is a nightmare - kids type things in the privacy of their own bedroom they would think twice about saying in public because they feel far removed from the potential consequences.

 

K x

[Bluesbreaker]

the problem is FB is internet based, and although this is covered as Kathryn pointed out in the Govt. guidelines, when it comes to legalities it is sometimes difficult to involve the police in serious cases, (I am talking teenage here) as there are no direct laws covering the internet itself as regards abuse, However, legally standing, people can be charged or dealt with in terms of harrasment, incentive to harm others, stalking etc, via traditional laws, so long as there is evidence to prove this.

 

also, if the issue got very severe and involved physical actions from either party, in this situation the police would likely not prosecute harshly, maybe just a formal caution on the grounds of provocation.

 

still the school has not got an excuse to ignore this bullying and threatening behaviour, the school should be the first port of call for mediation processes in order to rectify the problem, if the issue is not dealt satisfactorally or the child(ren) persists to threaten your child then you have the power and decision to go to the law enforcement community if such action is deemed as needed.

Edited November 23, 2010 by Bluesbreaker

[jade cat]

Hello all, thank you for your comments,

We are still a tad confused with all this! I feel we are being intimidated by the school around this FB issue, as far as we are aware the police have been involved for over a week, but my son has not been asked to attend the police station at any point. Two PC's told me that though it was serious issue they felt it better dealt with by other agencies. Can the police change their mind and decide to charge my son at any time?

Secondly my boys continue to be threatened pushed and so on while in school and are terrified to go out of the house.

The school had an assembly explaining the dangers of FB and told all year 11 the boys in question have been dealt with and given a suspension!!! At no time have the school explained to the pupils or staff that the boys punishment is nothing to do with the alleged hear say that was going around, but it is this alleged hear say that incited all the threats not the FB comments!! So in fact this assembly made things even worse!!!