Food theft from housemate, I have aspergers how to deal with them?

[dekaspace]

I am a 28 year old Aspergers sufferer.

 

I live between 2 properties, 1 is a flat which I have been spending more and more time at recently. other is a room in a house I pay £40 a week for, which I pay for from hardship fund from uni as uni is 40 miles away it saves me travevlling on train.

 

The guy in the house is a disgusting slob and theif, sure I complain about pretty much everyone I have lived with in last few years but this guy is so bad that there was bugs in living room when I moved in, ants in hall etc which I spent 3 hours cleaning up and by next morning there was rubbish everywhere.

 

He litarally eats food, then I have seen him chuck the uneaten remains into air, spilling over ground, make cigarettes and cover ground and table with spilled tobacco, even when he makes coffee he doesnt even AIM! he just grabs a torn sugar packed, and with his coffee jar just chucks it in without a spoon covering a sideboard with sugar and coffee.

 

HE also doesnt like to even wash! he wears the same clothes for days and stinks so bar it makes me want to puke(and I have a high tolerance as have a older brother like that!)

 

Secondly he steals whatever food I have, I ama benefit claimant so can barely afford anything, he is a well off middle class student and he admits to my face he cant be bothered even walking the 2 minutes to where we have 5 corner shops, 5 take aways etc as its too far so he steals my food.

 

No matter what I buy its eaten and he says he doesnt care that he steals it and tries to pass blame onto me for buying the food! second to that I buy reduced food as I cant afford much so I may get a £5 item reduced to 25p that would of done me 3 or 4 meals and when he steals it he just says he wll give me the 25p as thats all I paid and its unfair to charge him more and I am being greedy!

 

He has stolen about £40 of food in 2 weeks(and thats reduced food so worth about 3 times that) and makes excuses about going to shops to get money since he has exams and says I am being cruel and nasty to put my food above his studying!

 

Finally he is very bitchy about noise, I am a quiet tenant but he makes it so I cannot even watch tv quietly without him saying its blasting loud and affecting him studying which means I have to live life in the house the way HE WANTS! I cant listen to music if I am stressed even if I can barely make it out, he expects me to use headphones for tv, computer, music whatever, even if my phone rings and I am in my bedroom and him in the living room he knocks ont he door and complaints.

 

He isnt a nasty person just this is his first time living away from home and he admits he was spoiled and his parents did everything for him and his mum cleaned up constantly every day.

[Kathryn]

He sounds like a nightmare to live with and he's taking huge advantage of you, it seems. If moving out completely is not an option, you need to move your food out of his reach. Is there a cupboard you can lock, in your room, or in the kitchen? The fridge is more of a problem but you could buy one of those tiny bar fridges and keep it in your room perhaps? (I'm assuming your own door is lockable).

 

K x

[trekster]

I would ask your landlord to help, documenting all the bullying behaviour he has done in the past 2 weeks.

Sounds like this guy has a serious mental health problem, i know someone who lived like a slob but dont

recall her stealing food. Good luck, i managed to get my university to accept me in their halls of residence

for the full time i was there using a doctors note. Could you move into halls instead?

Welfare or disability officer i would advise you try 1st. Good luck.

[dekaspace]

Forgot to note there is no locks on bedroom doors, and he goes so far as if he cant find where I have hidden my food he goes into my room and through every wardrobe and drawer till he finds it so putting food in my room isnt an option.

 

Cant go into halls since I get housing benefit as only part time and they wont cover halls.

[Sally44]

I lived in a house with male students and they were awful.

As you say, it affects how you are because if you cook and clean you end up doing it for everyone, because none of them care.

 

Is there any chance of moving to another rented room? Is there somewhere where other students advertise for a housemate? Usually woman are much tidier students. I know that's a general sweep, but the men I shared a house with used to try to get a girlfriend "so they would do the house stuff for them". So they'd get some poor soul to become their 'surrogate' mum and do their cleaning, washing, ironing etc.

 

This guy is not going to change.

[Tally]

This situation has been ongoing for a very long time. I don't think your difficulty has anything to do with your Asperger's; he just sounds completely unreasonable.

 

Have you thought about looking for a rented room with people who aren't students. A clean, quiet lodger who is not there all of the time would be exactly what a lot of people are looking for.

[Mumble]

I think you need to move. Your university should be able to help either with halls accommodation or finding something else. I'm not sure about your full situation, but you can get housing benefit in halls if you're on higher rate DLA.

[dekaspace]

I think you need to move. Your university should be able to help either with halls accommodation or finding something else. I'm not sure about your full situation, but you can get housing benefit in halls if you're on higher rate DLA.

 

Officially you can, but its getting the council to realise this that is the problem as it goes back to old rules like how to be in halls you were a full time student and so not in receipt of benefits, but councils interpret this as halls cannot get HB.

 

Or something along those lines.

[Mumble]

Officially you can, but its getting the council to realise this that is the problem as it goes back to old rules like how to be in halls you were a full time student and so not in receipt of benefits, but councils interpret this as halls cannot get HB.

 

Or something along those lines.

Have a read of the housing benefit rules on the government website - it's actually fairly clear when it can be applied for for halls. Fulltime disabled students can get benefits (I know it's different for non-disabled students).

[dekaspace]

Have a read of the housing benefit rules on the government website - it's actually fairly clear when it can be applied for for halls. Fulltime disabled students can get benefits (I know it's different for non-disabled students).

 

There is something else though, which is where the confusion arises which I just realised what I originally meant.

 

The reason why halls cant be paid for normally is universities dont come under normal terms of landlord guideline so cant be paid.

 

If you are in a private run halls of residence then you can get it, but many councils get mixed up with the idea of private and university halls of residence.

 

I mean I have personally seen private sets of halls of residence through housing associations that carry the same contracts as the flats they own but you cant get housing benefit from them.

 

And that line you mentioned just adds to the confusion and I say just brings up the other point, it says FULLTIME students, which means you wouldnt be claiming something like JSA or ESA which is why normally you wouldnt be entitled.

 

It doesnt mention part time students

Edited December 15, 2010 by dekaspace