Introducing myself

[Clint Kirk]

Hi everyone,

 

I've found this forum while searching for Asperger's information.

 

After the breakdown of my marriage (my soon-to-be ex complaining that I wasn't devoted enough), I have recently been reading about Asperger's Syndrome on the Internet. I only started reading about it out of interest, but the more I read, the more I began suspecting that I probably have it to a small degree. I showed what I found to my STBX and after reading about the symptoms she now thinks I have it quite badly. I think she now gives me the benefit of the doubt, and appears to be behaving in a more understanding way towards me. This is a two-edged sword: on the one hand it's eased the relationship a little, and she no longer thinks I'm an utter *******, but she's putting this label over my head that I'm not sure I like, because Asperger's is not something that you have or haven't, there are varying degrees of it and you shouldn't think "this guy's got Asperger's so he's going to behave in such-and-such a way", but instead you should think "I can see this guy's behaving in this way, which is one of the typical symptoms of Asperger's and so it could be that the way he is behaving is due to Asperger's".

 

This is just a suspicion at the moment, and I would be interested in an official diagnosis. I've read somewhere that the NHS only offers diagnoses for children. Do any of you know where I can get a diagnosis, as an adult, somewhere in London or the South East? Also, can you give me your opinions of pros and cons of getting a diagnosis? I have a respectable, professional career - would it be affected if I were diagnosed with Asperger's - for example, can a future employer ask to see medical records? Also, following my divorce, if I meet a woman in the future that I would like to get serious with, I'm not sure if I would be comfortable telling her I had Asperger's.

 

I look forward to any advice anyone can give me.

 

Thanks

Clint

[Ma§h]

Hiya Clint, welcome to here.

 

I'm in my early 40s and was only diagnosed last year. This came about after a protracted, roundabout set of referrals: from GP to shrink for depression assessment, shrink back to GP for referral to a different shrink for treatment of depression, from second shrink back to GP for referral to an Asperger's centre in Sheffield for assessment, finally back to Sheffield for treatment but then back to GP for referral for ADD assessment (and that's the short version); which all took almost three years. I've begun a course of treatment but it's been temporarily placed on hold, awaiting a further assessment for ADD. Which is another thing you'll find once you begin this process: one thing often leads to another (apparently ADD is present in about 70% of AS cases, so be preapred).

 

I've seen on here, from other posters' experiences, that GPs' attitude to AS can range from flat-out denial to grudging, reluctant referral to full-blown, immediate agreement. So, in answer to one of your questions, you can get a diagnosis via your doctor but it may not be easy or quick. From what most experts I've spoken to have said, since Adult AS has only recently been acknowledged, the vast majority of specialists do tend to focus on children but that's changing.

 

Perhaps someone else can clarify this as I'm not 100% but, nowadays, once you've been confirmed as being non-NT, your local authority is obliged to offer you some kind of treatment, even as an adult.

 

Thankfully, I bypassed my GP on my way to the AS stamp of approval, so can't speak from experience. But, if you have an intransigent GP, you always have the option of going to a different one.

 

On a more personal note, the person I'm involved with is having a hard time accepting that I have AS, so at least you're luckier in that regard. Like so many people on here I've read about, getting diagnosed lifted a huge weight from my shoulders in that it went towards explaining so many of the problems I've been having for as long as I can remember. It definitely brings other burdens (work & relationships might conceivably be affected but only as much as you let them) but I'm happier now simply because I'm working towards getting help in understanding and dealing with them.

 

Lastly, if you ever are diagnosed with AS (or any subsequent conditions), it's nothing to be embarrassed by. It definitely has its share of problems but it's not your "fault" and is it really worth being with someone who judges you negatively for being the way you are?

 

Right, lecture over, sorry.

 

Good luck in future, whichever way you decide to go. And if you have any other questions, don't be afraid to ask me or anyone else.

[charlotte]

i got diagnosed after self recognition at the maudsley hospital in london they were very good. and then attending autscape along with my diagnosis opened up and made a big difference to my world. it took time to accept and some days i still find it hard but they are a lot fewer now and i would never change having had my diagnosis. as for friends and relationships if i am going to become close or a good friend to someone i always tell them but very rarely straight away. I feel and have learnt that if they are a good friend and the type of friend i need they will except me as me as my aspergers is part of me.

i the past i have put it on application forms for jobs but i think now rather than do that i would leave it off and tell them in the interview, i see it as important incase i have difficulties later on which has happen and it has made a difference to how situations may have turned out. whenever i apply for an education based course i always put it on the form as it makes a significant amount of difference to the help and support i get. I would never i believe be as far on in the course i am doing now without that support. Autscape showed me i can do if i am determined with support what i dream as long as it is realistic.

[Clint Kirk]

Thanks Ma§h and charlotte for your helpful advice and encouragement. I will speak to my GP and see what happens. Maudsley is reasonably close to me.

[Archie]

I figure this is the best place to introduce myself. My name is Archie, and i'm a 32 year old from wales. I've been fighting with the GP to get an ASD assessment since april last year and i finally have the date set for 16th february. I was just wondering if someone can let me know what to expect, this mostly because i'd really like to know on account of the unknown really unsettles me. Thanks folks, Archie.

Edited January 25, 2011 by Archie