Sharing

[lsw146]

My DD was away with school over the weekend and was feeling anxious so she decided to share her recent diagnosis which lead to the teachers calling her 'Asparagus girl'. I pointed out that they must have been embarrassed and uneducated about ASD . When we get our letter through and go to see her head of learning it might be a good idea to suggest some training! on a more positive a teacher who wasn't there at the weekend has been really supportive before ( encouraging her to seek help) and since her diagnosis and wants to make sure my DD has specific support structures in place to make her day less exhausting! Maybe she should be the one to share her knowledge ( she happens to be a psychology teacher with an interest in ASD)

Edited March 8, 2011 by lsw146

[baddad]

Hi - my own take on this, in the context you have given, is that the teachers were using the term 'Asparagus girl' to reassure her etc in a humorous way during the school trip, where things would be more relaxed/informal than in school.

It seems an odd situation anyway - they would have all been aware, presumably, that your daughter was seeking a dx or at the very least finding school/daily living problematic in some way, unless this was information deliberately held from school (which would seen counterproductive to getting her the support or evidence for SA+ or statement she needed).

Before going in to suggest the staff get some training, I'd be inclined to check further into the 'context', and think about how they've done so far, either while she has been seeking a diagnosis or while the facts of her problems haven't been known to them. If they've generally been doing okay, and she has a good relationship with them (as your post suggests)I'd wait and see rather than potentially creating more problems by telling them they don't know what they are doing.

As far as the psychology teacher with an interest goes I'd also wait and see... A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and what she thinks she knows about ASD may actually be less than she really knows. She could end up 'enabling' your daughter to be more disabled than she actually is - it's a mistake that many well-meaning people (including some professionals) make, and one that can reinforce parent's natural emotional responses that can manifest as over-protectiveness. The biggest 'problem' my son faced in infant primary school was a very highly trained teacher who knew 'everything' about autism, special needs, communication disorders etc etc. When my son didn't fit the pigeonholes she expected him to fit she made more and more bad decisions, because she couldn't accept that her instincts and expertise were wrong.

 

Take some time, let the school know 'officially' and see how they respond. If they do a good job, you've wasted a good worry, and if they don't you'll have more of a handle on why.

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

[lsw146]

Hi - my own take on this, in the context you have given, is that the teachers were using the term 'Asparagus girl' to reassure her etc in a humorous way during the school trip, where things would be more relaxed/informal than in school.

It seems an odd situation anyway - they would have all been aware, presumably, that your daughter was seeking a dx or at the very least finding school/daily living problematic in some way, unless this was information deliberately held from school (which would seen counterproductive to getting her the support or evidence for SA+ or statement she needed).

Before going in to suggest the staff get some training, I'd be inclined to check further into the 'context', and think about how they've done so far, either while she has been seeking a diagnosis or while the facts of her problems haven't been known to them. If they've generally been doing okay, and she has a good relationship with them (as your post suggests)I'd wait and see rather than potentially creating more problems by telling them they don't know what they are doing.

As far as the psychology teacher with an interest goes I'd also wait and see... A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and what she thinks she knows about ASD may actually be less than she really knows. She could end up 'enabling' your daughter to be more disabled than she actually is - it's a mistake that many well-meaning people (including some professionals) make, and one that can reinforce parent's natural emotional responses that can manifest as over-protectiveness. The biggest 'problem' my son faced in infant primary school was a very highly trained teacher who knew 'everything' about autism, special needs, communication disorders etc etc. When my son didn't fit the pigeonholes she expected him to fit she made more and more bad decisions, because she couldn't accept that her instincts and expertise were wrong.

 

Take some time, let the school know 'officially' and see how they respond. If they do a good job, you've wasted a good worry, and if they don't you'll have more of a handle on why.

 

HTH

 

L&P

 

BD

Your right baddad, I think I tend to post when I can't get something out of my mind and that tends to meake me overeactive. They proably were being trying to be gentle with her. Also DD's picture of things can be quite skewed and negative. I don't know how much these teachers know about my DD as she only joined the school in September. CAMHS were meant to have sent them a letter before she joined and since she joined the pastoral team have requested more information but I haven't as yet built up a relationship with the school to know how it has been handled. DD had been discharged (again) without confirmation of dx and we have been struggling along until a recent crisis prompted our GP to re-refer. Just waiting for the 'black and white' now to have a meeting about it all but I will be minded to see how things are going before jumping in with suggestions. I am just so used to having to reinforce DD's needs and not getting anywhere because of no clear dx that I can't imagine it being any other way.

As for the psychology teacher that is good advice. Even I have said to my DD that her dx is not an excuse to go backwards in terms of her behaviour or habits it is a way to move forwards and become more independent. She has made such progress over the years and we are very lucky that she really only needs (what we think) are small accomodations to lesson her challenges.DD certainly doesn't fit the pigeon holes when things are bad she masks everything until it all erupts at home.

 

Thanks again