Advice appreciated. Son keeps doing silly things.

[spaghettisue]

Hi, I am new to this forum.

 

My son has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia and being on the autism spectrum.

 

He keeps doing 'silly things' like dropping toys into places you can't get them out (like down the back of the radiator) or throwing pegs over the garden fence.

 

When I ask him why, he says that his brain keeps telling him to do these things and that he cannot ignore his brain. As he is always glaringly honest, I know he is telling me the truth.

 

I don't know if this is connected to the autism or the dyspraxia.

 

Can anyone relate?

[KezT]

Hi, I am new to this forum.

 

My son has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia and being on the autism spectrum.

 

He keeps doing 'silly things' like dropping toys into places you can't get them out (like down the back of the radiator) or throwing pegs over the garden fence.

 

When I ask him why, he says that his brain keeps telling him to do these things and that he cannot ignore his brain. As he is always glaringly honest, I know he is telling me the truth.

 

I don't know if this is connected to the autism or the dyspraxia.

 

Can anyone relate?

 

How old is he>

 

It could just be that he hasn't grasped the concept of cause and effect yet - we all like to drop things down deep holes/post items through small gaps/watch items splash into mud etc, but most of us learn really young that if we drop our favourite toy down the drain we do not have that favourite toy any more, so we're better off not doing what we want right now, in order to keep what we want in the future. That is realy quite a complicated concept when you think about it!

 

Make sure you explain each time that you can't get it back, and therefore he can't have it any more (do not replace the lost item). Try to be patient rather than angry, and hopefuly he'll slowly learn not to do it any more (well. at least until he finds a NEW place to drop/post/splash things.....)

[SimonJC]

I used to take things apart, with no forethought of putting them back together. It was really my desire to see how things worked, although a lot of stuff I butchered were complex items that I would never learn about in a million years.

 

My dad said this was just me being destructive. Ok it's taken me until my adulthood to finally find out that an ASD was the likely cause, so I can only offer hindsight as evidence. What I really believe is that there is this inquisitive nature in an ASD brain that wants to see what happens when one carries out a certain action, and that they keep on doing the same thing because of the repetitive nature of ASDs. I know that when I repeat an action, it's rather like coming back to a familiar place. There's comfort in that feeling, almost a self-stim in a way.

[baddad]

Agree with Kez's post above. All of the children - Autistic and NT - I know have, at some point or other, gone through the 'my mind made me do it' phase and it's just normal childhood impulsivity. I think for AS kids it can go on for longer, because there's another layer of 'thinking' to negotiate before itchy fingers (by which I mean curious, not thieving) can be brought back under control, but it's effectively the same process that has toddlers throwing toys from prams or older kids getting their heads stuck in railings. You just have to use the same responses and interventions as for other kids, just for longer! That applies to a huge number of other things too: sleep routines, fussy eating, tantrums etc etc. As soon as you start to 'see' different' and 'act' different' and 'respond' different you create the difference - but the difference isn't autism, because if it was all autistic children would have the same difference and no neurotypical children would share it, and that, of course, is simply not the case.

 

HTH, and very best with it, but I can warn you 'look with your eyes, not you fingers' will become a stock phrase, and often your reactions won't be quick enough to stop those fingers before it's too late!

 

L&P

 

BD