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About KezT

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    Mt Blanc
  • Birthday November 20

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    Somerset - by the sea

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  1. For those who are trying to understand gender/sexuality/expression this may help. For example, you may be very feminine in your expression by wearing makeup, having long hair and preferring skirts, while being very masculine in your identity by seeing yourself as male, having male behaviours etc
  2. The general suggestion on the gender forums about the prevalence of AS people with gender non-conformity is that it may be down to the AS persons difficulty in understanding of "conforming" or "normal" behaviour for their gender, and so they see themselves as an individual first, and only when they start putting together the expectations of specific genders they realise they do not conform to those expectations and therefore may be trans or gender non conforming which comes under the trans umbrella (included non-binary, gender fluid and agender).
  3. For those wondering about the guidelines in the UK, the Gender Services here *do* look at AS traits and refer for dx if they feel it is appropriate. I tried to get an AS referral for child #2 several years ago and was told as "its different in girls" it would be almost impossible to get enough evidence for a dx. Fast forward a few years of spiralling MH concerns, coming out at trans, then waiting for the Gender Identity Clinic (currently a 2 year waiting list for initial appointment!), and they were referred within the first few weeks, and dx'd with Autism less than a year into the process.
  4. Ignore this thread - found one in general discussion!
  5. KezT

    It was worth it:)

    Just popped back to say that things have continued to improve. Although there have still been ups and downs, Son achieved A, A, A, B in his A levels and has a confirmed place to study Chemistry at the University of Southampton. He will be leaving home and I am confident that this will be a success - possibly the first transition ever that I have felt confident about:) Keep fighting for your children! We were told he was uneducable, that the best we could hope for was a lifetime in care rather than prison, that there was zero chance of him having a job or independent life (honestly - these are all actual quotes from "professionals" involved over the years!) - we have appealed and argued and fought for him for 2 decades, and have absolutely, and in every way, been proven right. he has turned into a well adjusted, well educated, well rounded and inspirational young man:)
  6. Just needed to have somewhere safe to rant.... F***ing Christmas & ASC's do not mix!!!! Just had screaming row with my son, culminating with him staying at home when we went out for our traditional Christmas Eve meal in his favourite restuarant! I try to keep it as to routine as possible but I can't cancel Christmas for the whole family just for one 18 year old:/ Now I'm feeling really mean & guilty:(
  7. bit late to the discussion, but some pointers. If he has a EHCP that goes up to 25 years old (max, depending on what he is doing) and should include trasition arrangements If he is going to p16 education of any kind, you can make transition arrangements with them, either with or without an EHCP Some p16 provisions are very ggood and can put in place individual leaning plans eg: Maths A level, plus a lifeskills class and social skills class to mke a full tiem study plan. Ask around different providers to see what they can offer If/when he gets to Uni, they will also have transition arrangements and SEND specialists available to help. Start asking sooner rather than later:) Hope that is helpful
  8. Son is turning 18 next week. He is still signed up at our local FE college for another 2 years. He recieves PIP in his own name. We have repeatedly failed to get disability child services to even come out and assess (I know they have to legally, but they still didn't!), and we have not had a paed since the only specialiset in the LA retired in 2012, so no professional support currently in place. He lives at home, but would prefer not to as there are youger siblings that make it a bit noisy/chaotic for him.... Any advice as to what i should be looking at doing/applying for/advising him? TIA
  9. I don't think this is restricted to parents of AS kids. Many parents will emphasise the importance of exams - because they are quite important in many aspects of your future life. I try to be balanced with my kids - concentrate on getting exams at school, as it is by far the easiest time to get them. Teachers on tap, everything (almost) paid for. Lots of peers doing the same as you. However, it is not the end of your life if it doesn't work out at 16 years old. I know many people who didn't get their GCSEs at 16, but went on to be very successful in life. they all did get their exams eventually though:/ Without GCSEs you are unlikely to be able to get many jobs, and so you will have restricted what you can do - finding something you enjoy will be harder, and parents want their kids to find jobs they enjoy!.
  10. Not sure what line they might cross? Seems to me you have a fairly bigoted view of people that haven't done anything other than socialise in a public place:/ You say they have no social skills, then complain they "stare" at you - but if they have no social skills they may not even realise they are staring or understand it is not appreciated. Sounds like you are doing the right thing by ignoring them. *If* they actually make any comments/call you names I would suggest you discuss quietly with the cafe manager.
  11. KezT

    It was worth it:)

    Another update: DS is now in mainstream college, and it's all going really well! He is doing A levels, split across four years, and is currently getting As in his maths:) He also attends a "fun" subject one day a week and the ASD unit for life skills 1 day a week. He takes the public bus to each venue and attends a community social group once a week. He got a weekend job!!!!!! (unpaid). Every day I do a little mental happy dance when I think about how far we have come:)
  12. KezT

    It was worth it:)

    RESULTS DAY! 1 × A* 4 x A 3 x B 1 x C Not bad for a child who was considered unable to access education a few years ago:)
  13. your tutor ought to be able to give you some suggestions/point you in the right direction. talk to them:/
  14. the only real reason to get a dx later in life imo is to understand yourself better. I doubt there would be much in support available, but it may well help you understand your triggers and self management techniques. If you have had episodes of poor mental health that have led to professional input previously, a dx may be helpful for future therapeutic programs
  15. Thanks:) You were quite right - she got there long before I worked my way round to it, and was more than amenable to going through the dx process! phew.
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