Does my 6 year old son have Aspergers?

[Clare501]

Hi there, my first post here!! Ive been reading alot of threads and am already feeling quite at home

 

So my boy has just turned 6, you may have heard him shouting about it on Saturday?

 

We have had ongoing battles with him from the age of 2, it came to a head recently when he went into year 1 at school and they realised it wasnt just an age thing! The whole of reception they said he may just be immature.

 

What I really struggle with is is this just him? Is he just badly behaved? Is he just a tad quirky? Or actually, does he have Aspergers? Or something else?! I want to know what we are dealing with, I want to be able to tell the school so we can deal with him in the right ways. At the moment Im clutching at straws as I just dont know, I deal with him the best way I know how but I could do with knowing why he does the things he does! So here's abit about him, please let me know what you think?

 

The main thing we noticed first is that he has some sensory stuff going on. He sensory seeks. He rocks, stands on his head to watch TV, chews pretty much anything, eats things that arent edible - usually paper but we've had blu tac too, the rest of the stuff he just chews not swallows He smells things, he HAS to touch everything. He HAs to know what everything feels like, tastes like and smells like. Hes touched cats poo before and got down to smell it. He makes terrible messes in the bathroom with shaving foam, wet toilet roll, toothpaste, talc... He LOVES it. Hes very calm after he's done this and looks content! Obviously he doesnt do these all in one day!

 

So we thought SPD but now I hear Aspergers children can have sensory issues... and I put two and two together.

 

His social skills are quite poor. He is VERY controlling. He loves lego and he will share it but he cant stand people changing the mens heads or arms etc. Its kind of his way or no way. His conversations are very one sided and he likes to try and control what the subject is.

 

Literal thinking.... 3 days last week he weed on his bedroom carpet at bedtime, took me until the third night to realise it was indeed him and not a cat or spilt drink. when I asked him he said 'You said I couldnt come out of my bedroom' (I did say that as he was coming out every ten minute! Obviously I wouldnt have minded for a wee!!) I cant work out if he really thinks I wouldnt let him out for a wee or he's just being a monkey and saying 'Ha ha! If I cant come out ill wee on the carpet' kind of thing?!

 

He has difficulties at school, leaves the room, hides under tables, hurts other children, he can be quite rude. hes now got 15 hours support a week and is temporarily at a specialist behavioural school two days a week.

 

Im so sorry this is so long, I could go on and on and on... Is there anything else I could look for? I really want to know if it sounds likely as I think I will pay to get him assessed privately if Im quite sure this is whats up.

 

Thank you so very much for reading.

[philipo]

Its clearly sensory stuff with the blu tak n poo.One symptom of the social/communication problems is taking things literally.Due to lack of focus it can appear asthough he's not listening to you (just like most kids and teenagers)but in fact you told him not to come out of his bedroom so he did'nt.Although it might appear obvious,ot seems asd'rs are late developers and there may be some sensory problems.I for instance only became awre how I was influenced by textures of material in my early thirties.I am amusician (shy and closet)so I became a sound engineer where I could fullfill my love of music(and controlling sound!)hidden behind the mixing desk at the back of the hall as I'm very shy.At first I was extremly adamant that the band lighting was just s important as the music,then quickly noticed during 'Raves' in the late eighties that the colourfull and beautifull wall hangings had to have the right texture otherwise Ifelt they were visually disgusting and affected the music.Remember that the sense of taste and smell and touch all occour together in the mouth and its normal for small kids to make sense of the world by chewing thing and smelling them .It seems that a crossover of sensory imput is important,for me its sight and sound together and as my sound mixing developed I developed an obssesive interest in how I could introduce smells into the music shows that would correspond with the music!I know it sounds weird ,i was completly unawre I had asd then.It seems that the developmental stages of understanding the senses,and, as puberty starts the emotional languauge of relationships are a little stunted and seem to develop at differnet levels to so called normals.Theres lots of plus points for asd sufferers that come in later life ,rather than becoming set in our ways by 30 somthing,were still growing and exhibit much of the best of younger people.I beleive its these qualities that some would consider 'immature'by age are one of the special benefits of asd's and why older asd'rs are particualry in tune with younger people,we are still fresh and unblinkerd.

I would advise you to look at diet,dairy products have a big effect and simple foods seem to work better.As with any kids 'normal' or otherwise,keep them off the crisp and monster munch and be wary of too much sugar and e numbers.A big thing to help your child focus is to be a bit stricter with routines as I think it takes a bit longer for asd'rs to absorb the relaxing nature of predictability.Many asd'rs have problems with time and stitching events(the taken for granted everyday stuff and weekly stuff) together to absorb a pattern.When patterns are established this helps alot to reduce the near constant anxiety.

A big component is how you react to your childs apparently disruptive behaviour,you'll have to admit that the disruption is more about disruption for the 'normal peopl world',this will be the biggest stressor for you as a parent.Because the normal social and body language rules are hard to understand for sufferers its important you don't become upset and reactive to your childs behaviour .When you have difficulties then try for eye contact and explain using simple reasons why some behaviour is'nt good.Asd'rs can be very telepathic in sensing others anxiety and i beleive its just a developed compensation for lack of 'normal communicative skills.Dont get lost in labels for your childs behaviour and be wary of all the drugs 'specialists' may reccomend as they are about BEHAVIOURAL CONTROL,not unserstanding the disability.It seems that when a sufferers behaviour leans starkly to the non verbal (ie less understandable)the specialists are far more inclined to use the outdated label of Autisim,if the behaviour leans the other way (ie talkative ,highly perceptive but very socially disfunctional)then they dig out the old label of aspergers.Remember that developmenatl stages are general anyway and for sufferers of asd's they can be well ahead in some areas and behind in others.Difficulties always arise by treating the many problem areas in isolation.Other behaviours in asd children seem to be wandering off alot weird eating habits(my mam used to keep taking me to the doctors thinking I had worms because I'd eat three loaves of bread in ago)To help the child focus you could incorperate more technically/constructive biased play , the lego is brilliant for that as well as 'gadgets',like cameras n walkie talkies ,kids spy kits,telescopes etc.The subject of asd's is litterd with a clear strong technical/mechanical bias and I beleive its an overcompensation to make some logical sense of the world,thats why we have geeks and boffins and inventors.In typical fashion of the pedagogical adult approach it seems recent history on the subject is litterd with words like infant savant,child prodigy,gifted etc..etc..but this does nothing to understand what mental forces create these 'gifts'.Anyway just beware of clear definitions and trust that time and patience will be the biggest help.

[Clare501]

Its clearly sensory stuff with the blu tak n poo.One symptom of the social/communication problems is taking things literally.Due to lack of focus it can appear asthough he's not listening to you (just like most kids and teenagers)but in fact you told him not to come out of his bedroom so he did'nt.Although it might appear obvious,ot seems asd'rs are late developers and there may be some sensory problems.I for instance only became awre how I was influenced by textures of material in my early thirties.I am amusician (shy and closet)so I became a sound engineer where I could fullfill my love of music(and controlling sound!)hidden behind the mixing desk at the back of the hall as I'm very shy.At first I was extremly adamant that the band lighting was just s important as the music,then quickly noticed during 'Raves' in the late eighties that the colourfull and beautifull wall hangings had to have the right texture otherwise Ifelt they were visually disgusting and affected the music.Remember that the sense of taste and smell and touch all occour together in the mouth and its normal for small kids to make sense of the world by chewing thing and smelling them .It seems that a crossover of sensory imput is important,for me its sight and sound together and as my sound mixing developed I developed an obssesive interest in how I could introduce smells into the music shows that would correspond with the music!I know it sounds weird ,i was completly unawre I had asd then.It seems that the developmental stages of understanding the senses,and, as puberty starts the emotional languauge of relationships are a little stunted and seem to develop at differnet levels to so called normals.Theres lots of plus points for asd sufferers that come in later life ,rather than becoming set in our ways by 30 somthing,were still growing and exhibit much of the best of younger people.I beleive its these qualities that some would consider 'immature'by age are one of the special benefits of asd's and why older asd'rs are particualry in tune with younger people,we are still fresh and unblinkerd.

I would advise you to look at diet,dairy products have a big effect and simple foods seem to work better.As with any kids 'normal' or otherwise,keep them off the crisp and monster munch and be wary of too much sugar and e numbers.A big thing to help your child focus is to be a bit stricter with routines as I think it takes a bit longer for asd'rs to absorb the relaxing nature of predictability.Many asd'rs have problems with time and stitching events(the taken for granted everyday stuff and weekly stuff) together to absorb a pattern.When patterns are established this helps alot to reduce the near constant anxiety.

A big component is how you react to your childs apparently disruptive behaviour,you'll have to admit that the disruption is more about disruption for the 'normal peopl world',this will be the biggest stressor for you as a parent.Because the normal social and body language rules are hard to understand for sufferers its important you don't become upset and reactive to your childs behaviour .When you have difficulties then try for eye contact and explain using simple reasons why some behaviour is'nt good.Asd'rs can be very telepathic in sensing others anxiety and i beleive its just a developed compensation for lack of 'normal communicative skills.Dont get lost in labels for your childs behaviour and be wary of all the drugs 'specialists' may reccomend as they are about BEHAVIOURAL CONTROL,not unserstanding the disability.It seems that when a sufferers behaviour leans starkly to the non verbal (ie less understandable)the specialists are far more inclined to use the outdated label of Autisim,if the behaviour leans the other way (ie talkative ,highly perceptive but very socially disfunctional)then they dig out the old label of aspergers.Remember that developmenatl stages are general anyway and for sufferers of asd's they can be well ahead in some areas and behind in others.Difficulties always arise by treating the many problem areas in isolation.Other behaviours in asd children seem to be wandering off alot weird eating habits(my mam used to keep taking me to the doctors thinking I had worms because I'd eat three loaves of bread in ago)To help the child focus you could incorperate more technically/constructive biased play , the lego is brilliant for that as well as 'gadgets',like cameras n walkie talkies ,kids spy kits,telescopes etc.The subject of asd's is litterd with a clear strong technical/mechanical bias and I beleive its an overcompensation to make some logical sense of the world,thats why we have geeks and boffins and inventors.In typical fashion of the pedagogical adult approach it seems recent history on the subject is litterd with words like infant savant,child prodigy,gifted etc..etc..but this does nothing to understand what mental forces create these 'gifts'.Anyway just beware of clear definitions and trust that time and patience will be the biggest help.

 

Thank you so much, what a fantastic reply! Ive just sat with a cup of tea and really enjoyed reading that. Thank you for taking the time to type it, its very much appreciated.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

It sounds ike it could be a possibility. I'm afraid I can't say with certainty. Interestingly, if he's been given support in class that strikes me as some sort of acknowledgement of issues by the school (which is good). I'm not saying that I think all mums are right all the time, but I'm a believer in mother's instinct/gut feeling. As I said, I think because school are acknowledging things, that's a good start. Has an Educational Psychologist been in to school to see your son? Have you spoken with your GP? Have you had any referrals, etc? Sorry for all the questions. Guess what I'm really wondering is that going private may give you the answers you're looking for (private versus NHS is a debate that's been covered quite a bit on this forum with mixed feelings/responses). I know in some areas, that LEAs don't recognise private diagnoses. I recall very well how it feels to 'be in limbo' or know that something isn't quite right, but not be able to put your finger on what and why. It can be an all consuming emotional rollercoaster. I guess best advice I can give to you is to keep a diary of anything that strikes you as odd (like the examples you've detailed). Keep it short and sweet – that way if you do get a referral, it's worth photocopying and highlighting the interesting bits for a consultant (that might not have a lot of time to read). I found that my son's behaviour was odd and the only way I could remember things (i.e. what he was doing, lead up to it, and afterwards) was to write things down. In my son's case, we were passed from pillar to post before eventually seeing a specialist ASD consultant with whom I spoke to at length and had read the diary extracts (I photocopied them and sent them in advance of the appointment). Once she'd met with kiddo, she seemed to know exactly what was what and diagnosed AS.

 

Best wishes.

 

Caroline.