Karen A Report post Posted July 5, 2011 <'> <'> <'> <'> I just popped in and read your very sad news. I wanted you to know my thoughts are with you. Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted July 5, 2011 I have only just caught up with this thread after being away from the forum for a few days. I am really sorry to hear your terrible news. My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted July 5, 2011 So very sorry to hear of your family's sad loss. Don't waste any energy on people who aren't worth it. Take Care, Lynda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted July 6, 2011 Hi Tally , hope your managing at this really awful time, I read the article about your brother and it was a really lovely piece.He was obviously very very special and very inspirational, you and your family must be very proud of him and all he achieved. ..........don,t take any notice of the fools you work with ....they sound self absorbed and ignorant.Carry on being the kind loving person you are .The next week will have lots of challenges as your brother and dad return home, my thoughts and prayers are with you all take care love suzexx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 7, 2011 It's funny seeing the headline to the article. Although David did do many things for other people, he did many things for himself as well. He chose to cycle across America because he wanted to cycle across America for his own personal enjoyment. People tried to give him money and he realised he could benefit others through the trip as well by raising sponsorship. I'm grateful that he did actually have so much fun in the time he had, because I think he would have lived his life the exact same way had he known it would be cut so short. David's body was being transported back to the UK today. We are still waiting to hear from the funeral directors that it has arrived with them, but the embassy have let us know that the plane did take off safely yesterday. My dad will be driving to the airport now, and will be home tomorrow afternoon. It's really starting to sink in now that David is really gone. We are talking about funeral arrangements. On Saturday my mum, dad and I are going to visit 3 places that we may choose for him to be buried. Hopefully we can make a final decision over the weekend and start making arrangements on Monday morning so that the funeral can take place as soon as possible. I am going to be able to see the body, which I have decided I would like to do. Today I had an appointment at the hospital which was a follow-up to some sessions I had before Christmas. It was a group session, so it was not something I could postpone. So I decided to go anyway. I couldn't take anything in, but I have got the information sheets they gave us and I can have a look over them in a few weeks. Some others in the group knew what had happened because I have them on Facebook. One of them offered to meet up for a coffee in a few weeks. She told me that she also has lost a sibling, so I think it will be nice to talk to her. So I'm glad I went. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted July 12, 2011 Some people weren't very nice. One person completely blanked me all night and did not speak to me at all. The mad woman ignored me for a bit and then came and told me she was in a bad mood because she's had a stressful week and then told me all about her stressful week, which I really couldn't give a toss about. I expected some awkwardness because people don't know what to say, but I didn't think people would be actually unpleasant. Hi Tally So sorry about your brother. I lost a sister a few years ago, it was very painful. Some people do say nothing at all - it may be that they don't know what to say and/or don't want to say the wrong thing. Or they may be worried about upsetting you. Or they may have had their own loss in the past and it may upset them to think about it. Some people ramble when they don't know what to say, which it sounds like the 'mad woman' was doing. Of course some people are just totally selfish but that's their problem, not yours. I hope the arrangements are progressing well. It will be a very difficult time - I didn't cry until the day of my sister's funeral, and I probably looked quite unnecessarily hysterical, but it just all came out then. Thinking of you and your family <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 13, 2011 We have managed to confirm the funeral arrangements today. It is going to be Thursday week. It's obviously going to be a very difficult day, but it has to be done and I think it will help us. I'm going to send out a mass email tomorrow to all his friends and tell them to spread the word. We looked at woodland burial sites but they were not how we expected at all and we didn't like them, so we are going to cremate him and scatter his ashes to the wind at a place where he used to go cycling. Work was a lot better this week. I realised that I was not really on the planet last week, which might explain why other people were a bit funny around me too. We also had an amusing guest who rang the doorbell and did a strange dance for us. Everyone has been really helpful. My dad's friend has taken David's car away and is going to store it at his house until it can be sold. They found a "disguisting" CD in the car and I had to admit that I'd given it to him and my dad's going to come round and listen to it with me. It's just rude Christmas carols sung by 2 doctors who studied at Imperial College, which is where David studied also. I've written to my ex-husband and his parents to tell them and I haven't had any hassle from him yet. I hope that involving his parents too will prevent this. And I did not have his address, only theirs, so it was the only way to contact him anyway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 13, 2011 (edited) Hi Tally - It must be very reassuring to have a date for the funeral, even if quite a daunting prospect. <'> Perhaps you could find the least 'disgusting' of those disgusting carols and have it played at the funeral! Whatever your dad's friend's take on it it must have been special to David to have been in the car. I'm sure listening to it with your dad will be bitter-sweet, but over time I'm sure a happy keepsake that brings back good memories, Don't think anyone would be surprised that you were on a different planet last week. Very best for a gentle landing. L&P BD Edited July 13, 2011 by baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 13, 2011 I listened to the disguisting carols and couldn't find a single one without swearing in, so it's going to be a bit of a no-no for playing that in Church! I've had some emails from a parent of a girl David worked with at the respite centre. They had stayed in touch with him after the child got too old to attend and went off to residential school, and David had worked with her at holiday clubs as her 1:1 carer. She wanted a photo of David to put up in the girl's bedroom at school so I emailed a couple of photos from when we went to Tanzania in 2007. There was one of David standing in front of a buffalo skull and it looks like he's got horns, and another with zebras in the background. Apparently the girl's favourite thing (after dinosaurs) are zebras, so she was really pleased with these photos. There is going to be a big article on the front page of the local newspaper tomorrow, so hopefully anyone we've missed will know now. There's also been some interest from the national press, and they would pay the local newspaper for the story, and the local paper have said they would donate any payments to the memorial fund we are going to set up for raising some money for charity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 14, 2011 I listened to the disguisting carols and couldn't find a single one without swearing in, so it's going to be a bit of a no-no for playing that in Church! I've had some emails from a parent of a girl David worked with at the respite centre. They had stayed in touch with him after the child got too old to attend and went off to residential school, and David had worked with her at holiday clubs as her 1:1 carer. She wanted a photo of David to put up in the girl's bedroom at school so I emailed a couple of photos from when we went to Tanzania in 2007. There was one of David standing in front of a buffalo skull and it looks like he's got horns, and another with zebras in the background. Apparently the girl's favourite thing (after dinosaurs) are zebras, so she was really pleased with these photos. There is going to be a big article on the front page of the local newspaper tomorrow, so hopefully anyone we've missed will know now. There's also been some interest from the national press, and they would pay the local newspaper for the story, and the local paper have said they would donate any payments to the memorial fund we are going to set up for raising some money for charity. That memorial fund sounds really good <'> Yes, swearing in church is always a bit iffy, isn't it? I hope you and your dad enjoy it, even if the vicar says no. L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 14, 2011 We have managed to confirm the funeral arrangements today. It is going to be Thursday week. It's obviously going to be a very difficult day, but it has to be done and I think it will help us. I'm going to send out a mass email tomorrow to all his friends and tell them to spread the word. We looked at woodland burial sites but they were not how we expected at all and we didn't like them, so we are going to cremate him and scatter his ashes to the wind at a place where he used to go cycling. Work was a lot better this week. I realised that I was not really on the planet last week, which might explain why other people were a bit funny around me too. We also had an amusing guest who rang the doorbell and did a strange dance for us. Everyone has been really helpful. My dad's friend has taken David's car away and is going to store it at his house until it can be sold. They found a "disguisting" CD in the car and I had to admit that I'd given it to him and my dad's going to come round and listen to it with me. It's just rude Christmas carols sung by 2 doctors who studied at Imperial College, which is where David studied also. I've written to my ex-husband and his parents to tell them and I haven't had any hassle from him yet. I hope that involving his parents too will prevent this. And I did not have his address, only theirs, so it was the only way to contact him anyway. Hi. My brother was another David. Although your David's situation was different in many ways to my David and my David was a long time ago it still brings back memories. People were a bit funny then too. I think people just don't know how to react even when they do their best. I will be thinking of you all. <'> <'> <'> <'> Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Hopefully this will work and this link should show you the link to the article from the local paper out today: http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/Tallulah550/scan0002.jpg Yes, it does work and if you click on it, it will make it bigger and the print will be easier to read. Edited July 14, 2011 by Tally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 14, 2011 (edited) Hi Tally - Thank you for sharing that <'> I wondered if the memorial etc would be for 'find your feet'. Saw from the link given in the paper that it is: http://www.justgiving.com/davidwilliams Hope everyone visiting that page notices the 'tweet' button too. Very, Very best L&P BD Edited July 14, 2011 by baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 15, 2011 There's a much more legible copy of the same article available here: http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/rich-generous-life-taken-away-young-driver/story-12949172-detail/story.html We are hoping to raise a considerable fund in memory of David from a variety of sources. There will be some money from the sale of David's car and there may be some compensation, for example. We will allocate the fund to Find Your Feet, International Childcare Trust (a charity David has cycled for before), Treetops (the respite centre where David worked with disabled children), and an organisation that discourages drink-driving. When we allocate the funds, we will take into account the sum already received by Find Your Feet. We haven't been able to set up an account for the fund yet, which is why we're asking people to use the Just Giving page for now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 15, 2011 Thinking of you especially this coming week Tally. Reading the comments on your link above, it's clear that David was highly thought of by lots of people- I hope that's some comfort to you and your parents. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 19, 2011 I've been working this weekend again and this week has been really tough. The shock is fading now and all the other stuff is really setting in. When you work nights your brain gets a bit carried away early in the morning. David liked to eat, and I work in a supermarket, so there are so many reminders of him there. Today while I was at my parents' house, a lady who used to be our childminder when David was about 4 phoned as she had just received the letter my mum sent. She just babbled about how lovely David was, which was perfect because none of us were up to saying much. I also had a nice letter from my ex-mother-in-law. They didn't know David well because I was living a long way from home while I was married, but they met him a few times and knew about his plans to become a doctor. There is a kind of manor house next to the Church where we are having the funeral. The lady who runs it did not know David, but several of her friends did and she wanted to offer us use of the house for after the funeral. We were going to have it at my parents' house, but this will be much better. We've been organising things like caterers and flowers, and it feels very wrong, as if we've been organising a party. My parents had some contact with an organisation called Mothers Against Drink Driving (MADD) while they were in America, and agreed that they could use David's story on their campaign material. They have sent us a lot of literature including a leaflet on grandparents' grief. It talked about how it's a kind of double grief, as not only have they lost a grandson, but they are sad for their child's loss too. That never really occurred to me. So we are going to reassure them that we are looking after my mum and hopefully this will help ease things for them a bit and let them focus on themselves. They have booked themselves a weekend break to Canterbury, so it's nice to see them making plans for the future and doing things they will enjoy. We have about 150 people confirmed to attend the funeral, but we don't know how many other people may turn up. Some of them are friends of my parents who didn't know David well, but want to be there to support my parents. People have cancelled holidays to attend. One person is missing his son's graduation. People really are amazing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted July 19, 2011 Thoughts are with you and yours right now xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 21, 2011 350 people attended David's funeral today, many had to stand. It was the perfect way to say goodbye. David rowed as a team of 8. The cox led the casket out of the Church, carried by his 7 team-mates, leaving David's space empty. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted July 21, 2011 <'> L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted July 22, 2011 Whatever I try to say sounds a bit glib, so can only offer more of these, <'> >< thinking of you, K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
