4 yr old started pooing himself

[dekra]

My son is 4 now and has been going to the toilet for poos for about 18 months. He was using the toilet for those long before he was dry enough to take out of nappies. Back in April he started wetting himself again out of the blue and although this has lessened so it's not several times a day like it was before we do now need to be on top of things. He needs to be reminded to pee hourly and we get accidents a few times a week. If we are going on a car journey of more than 30 mins there is a high chance of him having an accident. we try not to put him in nappy pants unless we know we are going to be on an extended trip and unable to make bathroom stops as we don't want to encourage him not to try to hold it. At night he is still back in the nappy pants that he had to go back into in April.

 

On Wednesday at bedtime I as normal told him to go peepee and get his clothes off - he pulled down his trousers and pants and load of balls of poo went everywhere! He'd pooed his pants, it was not diarrhea - he would have definately needed to make a consious effort to poo I think. We put it down to him being allowed to play the wii that evening and he was too distracted to go until it was too late (he was wet too). This didn't explain why he had not gone after he had done the deed. We explained to him that he needs to go to the toilet for a peepee and poopoo and have no idea if he understood what we said even though he does know to go to the bathroom for toiletting needs. We tried to underline his behaviour was not good without getting angry at him. We hoped it was a 1 off incident. The next day nursery noticed he was wet and went to take him to the toilet and change him when they noticed the smell and he'd pooed there too. At nursery he doesn't have accidents often as there is usually one child or another being asked if they need the bathroom so he tends to go several times an hour anytime anyone is reminded. Last night again I realised he had wet himself even though he'd been not long before and when I went to change him there was more poo in his pants. Again he got the lecture of peepee and poopoo's need to go in the toilet not in pants but if he understood is unknown.

 

No problems today thankfully. I just don't know what to make of it. I am worried it is a reaction to being in nursery longer hours now that I am at University. He is there 2 and half to 3 full days now and seems to be enjoying it. His speech whilst still far far behind is coming on and he's interacting with other kids (3 of them locked themselves in the toilet and were heard to be giggling hiding from the staff) at a level he's never done so far.

 

Any insight from people that have gone through this would be useful please - but please please don't recommend a star chart, he just doesn't understand the concept.

[justine1]

Hi

 

My second son Sam (ASD) is now 8 yrs old and have never had too many problems with his toileting, he potty trained before he was 2 and has been really good since. However I have had problems on two occassions in the past one was last year when he was getting excluded from cschool etc he would often urinate everywhere and anywhere. Second time was this year shortly after moving to a new county, it took 6 mths to get him into the right school and he was at home being looked after by various friends, family and sitters whilst I was at uni, again he would wee everywhere on top of that his speech deteriorated too.

He does also have a problem with his aim, but I guess thats not exclusive to boys ASD.

 

My third son Dan (ASD) is 5 yrs old he potty trained at almost four and was not completely dry until just after his 5th birthday. He too has occassional accidents and when he is out he does not mind weeing behind a tree, he just won't hold it.

 

My fourth son Eli is 3 has no dx, though is suspected to also have ASD,he was in full time( 10 hrs/day 5 days/wk) nursery for 5 mths and I was told we would work together to get him trained but seemed I was doing my part they were'nt doing theirs. I took him out cause I have put my course on hold after three weeks of being home he was trained ! Then we went on holiday for a week and he regressed. He now rarely wees in the toilet but does usually poo. His sleeping has also got worse he wakes up three times in the night and is very active during the day. The pre school he is at is good with toilet training I have heard parents say their kids arrived in nappies but were out by the time they started school, so it is positive. Like you I just keep encouraging him to go to the toilet.

 

Don't really have suggestions other than I am sure he will get there in the end. If sticker charts won't work have you tried maybe getting simple books with pictures and talking to him and maybe using a toy teddy to explain that the teddy also goes to toilet and showing him by sitting it on the toilet. I know with both my ASD boys I sed to think nothing is going through or they have little understanding but as they have got older I can see how wrong I am. Its all about visual cues so try and find pictures and make charts and talk about it. Maybe also see if you can buy his own toilet wipes, seat and hand wash, if you have not done so already, see if he will chose it himself so he is involved somehow. Hope your course is going well.

[sesley]

mine is 11 with ASD and i still get accidents often when he is distracted by computer games and he says he can feel it but does not know why he does not do something about it. Its because its the least priority of thought when he is concentrating on something else. We have had constipation problems as well,because he does not drink enough,so its a matter of making him drink lots. Is yours well,eating and drinking ok? Sometimes i read,they can't feel or process on how to react to body feelings,this includes pain and discomfort in some way.Can he say if he feels it coming?or express reactions to sensations like pain,or too hot or cold or uncomfortable in some way?

[dekra]

I don't have bother with constipation now but a year and a half ago he did have lots of constipation problems and this was put down to his not drinking enough so we try to keep his fluids up. His eating can be hit and miss, some days he will eat well other days he doesn't want to eat and as I was a bad eater as a child and have awful memories of being forced to eat (then subsequently went on to become obese ironically) I try not to make a big issue of it on the principle that if he is hungry enough he will eat. Very recently he has started to tell me he is hot but that is literally just in the last couple of weeks. Other than than he's not shown much expression of any sort of phsycial discomfort. He's said his tummy is sore a few times during the last few months but that was always shortly before going to the toilet to open his bowels.

 

I actually just had a convo with my hubby about our son after writing that last paragraph and I have just realised that whilst we are having more issues and old issues are not resolving he seems in general to be a happier child than he was 6 months to 18 months ago. For a long long time he was an unhappy little boy and I was upset I couldn't make that right for him. Now whilst there is still problems and worries he is happier and I think that is important. I don't know if he's just coming to terms with his limitations or his communication is enough he's not completely frustrated all the time or just that my hubby and I have a better understanding of F and his needs but he seems more relaxed and happy now.