Out of Control asperger/adhd teen

[sasspy]

can anyone give me some advice, we're desperate, my 14 yr old son was expelled in january. he couldn't take the change to routine and had a breakdown. by March the county out of school dept wanted him to attend the PRU but he wouldn't engage so we agreed at a TAC meeting to ask his camhs dr for a letter to confirm he should remain on sick leave. This got him a place through the hosptial school which is called 'home schooling' and he goes 2 sessions a week for one to one at the local youth club. a taxi takes him and he really gets onwell there. due to funding they are keen to movE him on to his named mainstream school. he has a full time statement and this school is his and our choice for moving forwards, but he won't go now, he should go for 1.5 hrs once a week to the senco but he won't go, says its pointless and he can pss his gcses without going to school anymore!

He's gets very aggressive and violent if i try to make him go. this week he wouldn't even go for his normal session on tues. He comes home at all hours, he has to be in by 10pm but we often take it in turns driving round looking for him until the early hours. the Police are good and help us but it gets so i'm ringing them several times a day. We have absolutely no control over him. He's on strattera for his adhd but i can't get him to take his tablet some days because he wont' get up before i have to leave for work. He has 2 sisters , one older and one only 7. this is affecting our whole family because everything revolves around him. Asked social services for help and they said they don't want to get involved abecause of the TAC. He had been progressing well until September when due to funding cuts other professionals involved dropped out. the youth crime prevention lady took him out once a week but her job went, connexions lady met him once a week but that was cut. he responded to all of these and its only since its all been cut he's slipped backwards. Our camhs dr and assistant who have been amazing are both retiring this december and although they can pass us on, they are the autism/asperger specialists and their replacements aren't specialised. It took 10 yrs to find them in the first place. Just don't know what to do or which way to turn and my work is pressuring me because i'm forever off. trying to do 2 or 3 days a week to be able to pay mortgage but considering just quitting and living in cardboard box!

[Amethyst Moon]

Hi Sasspy,

 

Don't give up. You are dealing with such a lot and it must make you feel like giving up. I hope that you have people who are around you that you are able to have a good off load to. With everything you are going through you need the support of friends and family.

 

It would seem that the professional support network that you have had is about to be changed, it is my advice that you speak to your TAC (i'm assuming that this is the team around the child?) lead professional and tell them that the support you are getting is not enough and you are concerned for your child’s welfare. Tell them that there are child protection concerns. He is putting himself at risk by going off until the early hours, he is a vulnerable child anyway and health concerns because he is not taking his medication and refusing school. They should on your request take the TAC to the next level and that usually means that the Local Authority has a duty to assess your child's needs. However; it may be that you have a CAMHS social worker but it sounds to me that you are both in need of more support. Has the education coordinator or been in touch with you about his school refusal?

 

It is a picture I see everyday where services are being cut for children and young people, however it is my experience that there are services out there you just need someone to point you in the right direction. You local Social Services, children with disabilities team may have some information about other services. In some areas of the country the services are still there but have different names and in new departments.

 

You seem to have a teenager whose hormones are surging and he is testing his ground. This is normal developmental behaviour for a lot of teenagers and you have to keep firm about your boundaries. If he is becoming too violent then please do not hesitate to call your local police as you seem to have a good relationship with them anyway and sometimes they are pretty good at talking teenagers down. Also from what you said you have a 7 year old and you need to keep her and yourself safe.

 

I hope that you are able to use some of this advice. Just know that people are thinking about you, don’t give up.