Challenging school, and personal feelings.

[Andy]

We have arranged a meeting at Sons school on Thursday, in preparation for the annual review, so its like a pre-annual review. We have quite good relations with the school and staff, but feel there have been some really negative changes over the past year and these have really negatively affected sons progress.

 

I am ready to really challenge some of the decisions, provisions and staffing issues that have changed recently, but i can't shake this feeling that i will feel that i am just being ungrateful. I know i shouldn't.

 

I know my son can be difficult, but i also know that - in the right setting, he is a wonderful child. I am angry that the school have not put positive strategies in place to help him progress and feel comfortable in school, it is the ASD specialist centre after all . His 65 year grandmother has him on occasion, and he really responds well with her, and she honestly remarks, that his is tiring, but she really enjoys having him.

 

Why do i keep thinking the school are doing me a huge favour by having him at all!, and to complain about anything is really ungrateful. I really need to sort these feelings out if i am going to have any impact at future meetings.

 

Edited January 10, 2012 by Andy

[Sally44]

I always used to find it hard to go into meetings with school/professionals/NHS etc and stand my ground, or ask them to explain what they meant or why they were doing or saying what they were.

 

It took me years to wise up and even longer to actually challenge someone or ask them to do what they are supposed to do as part of their job.

 

You grow up believing that professionals know more than you, and are working for the best of your child. And, yes, many professionals do know more about certain stuff than you do.

 

But don't be naive and think that everyone is working towards your son getting the input/support/placement he needs. It just isn't happening. No-one will project manage his education except you.

 

How many times do you see on TV about certain drugs not being allowed to certain patients due to where they live. How do those doctors make those decisions. They do. They do it all the time.

 

There are budgets that have to be kept to. If you look at it that way, then yes, you can be grateful that £xx is being spent on your child.

 

But that is not what SEN educational law says. It does not say you can spend up to a maximum of £xx on any one child. It says "the childs needs must all be identified and must all be provided for".

 

Why is that worth fighting for? Because if that happens your child has a better chance of growing up to be as independent and capable as they can be as an adult.

 

Any additional money spent on them now will almost certainly mean that less money has to be spent on them as adults who are totally dependent on other people.

 

If at all possible, I want my son to grow up to be independent ie. living in his own place and having a job.

 

If I had not gone through what I did, I truely believe he would have left school illiterate, with mental health problems, and would have needed 24/7 care as an adult.

 

I want a better future for him than that. I believe he is capable of achieving that. He has been assessed as being average cognitive ability.

 

But I believe that principal remains the same for however severely affected a child is. If they learn self help, dailing living and independence skills that is good for them. Otherwise why are we bothering to send our children into school at all. Why not just keep them at home and let them be happy doing the things they want.

 

I believe it is money well spent for my son to be where he is now.

 

When you look at it like that, you might feel differently.

Edited January 10, 2012 by Sally44

[Sally44]

Try not to demonise the staff at the school or the EP, LA etc.

 

I've often wondered "how do they sleep at night" after finding out things they have said and done behind my back. But it doesn't help. They are doing their job. They have training days about it. They are trying to stop you.

 

The SENCO at the independent school my son now attends told me at the very beginning that the LA will fight till the death to stop you getting your son into this school - but once you get him in they are quite good and will fund his place there and move onto the next fight they have over another child. And that is exactly how it has been so far.

 

I used to think for years that everyone involved just did not understand the system and that if I just explained it better. Or showed them evidence of the things he struggles with. Or maybe they didn't understand the SEN law or what they should be doing.

 

But they do. There is actual guidance for SALTs about the kind of reports they should produce for Educational Tribunals. I printed it off and posted it to the NHS SALT because she kept saying she could not "specify". By law she had to specify and the guidance says that.

 

The school may not be as knowledgeable as the LA and other professionals. But they do know what they are doing, and they will seek advice from the LA on what they should tell you and how they should answer your questions.

 

The LA is dealing with hundreds of kids like ours every day. They are going to Educational Tribunals most weeks.

 

They have solicitors that they use for Tribunal cases, and sometimes they take them to the actual Tribunals.

 

Phone your LA up and ask for their list of maintained, approved and independent schools for children with ASD. When it comes you will see all the schools your LA currently funds places for for other children.

 

My own LA pays a "group discount" for the school my son is currently at due to the number of children they have there. Yet no-one from the LA and not one professional ever mentioned to me that this school even existed. I found it out myself by searching for a suitable school.

 

Before our Tribunal started the EP walked over to the SENCO from the Independent School and thanked her for the "wonderful work" they had done with another child. Then she went into the Tribunal and fought tooth and nail to keep my son out of that same school!

 

It is actually a farce, and if you do proceed, you will slowly start to see that.

 

I found it all rather like a complicated choreographed dance that everyone else knew [whilst at the same time denying they knew anything about it], and I had to learn the steps as we went along.

 

Do you have a copy of the SEN Code of Practice. You can download it from the top of the Education Forum in the publications section.

 

I don't know enough about Academies to know what their legal responsibilities are for Statemented children. And you need to find that out.

 

But you need to start by going into meetings with a well thumbed SEN Code of Practice with highlighted sections that you can quote to them as proof that you are now a parent that has cottoned on.

Edited January 10, 2012 by Sally44

[Sally44]

Before my son was finally diagnosed with dyslexia, we had an Annual Review and a number of other meetings.

 

This is a sample of the things I was told:

 

We don't diagnose children with dyslexia because it stigmatises them.

The learning approaches we use are suitable for children with dyslexia.

The progress he is making is typical for a child with autism.

He is getting as much help as he can possibly get.

A diagnosis will not achieve anything and will not provide anything additional.

The EP even stated she did not think he was dyslexic.

 

I was accused by the school of being intimidating and ungrateful.

I was accused of demoralising the staff.

I was ignored by the LA.

We had a number of meetings where nobody admitted or agreed to anything and I would come out none the wiser with nothing having been achieved.

 

I could go on and on and one with examples of what I have been told.

 

It was all lies.

 

My son is dyslexic, the EP finally admitted so after I lodged a formal complaint.

 

He was diagnosed with "severe" dyslexia and dyscalculia. That was eventually included in part 2 of his Statement. He now gets a specialist teacher trained to level 7 to both teach and assess who goes into his school 3 times a week for a one hour 1:1 session with him. It should be more. But as he isn't even in full time education yet, that was a good start.

 

She advises school on how his learning should be presented to him so that ALL his work is now accessible to him and he no longer feels like a failure.

 

So who was right. I was. The Tribunal Panel found in our favour. They agreed with everything we said he needed. At the Tribunal the EP and SALT could not dispute the facts.

 

Why did everyone lie to me? I can only conclude that it was because to admit he had severe dyslexia was to admit that his current school could not meet his needs, which would mean they would have to spend more money on him in either a more specialist placement and with the extra expense of therapies and specialist teaching.

 

I was very nervous going to that Tribunal because I wasn't just asking for an independent placement. I was asking for even more than that, because that independent placement did not have a specialist dyslexia teacher. But I just went with what the law says and just asked the Panel to find in our favour.

 

Panels have to fall in line with earlier case law. If you have looked on the IPSEA website you will have seen some of the previous SEN cases and what the rulings were. Judges on Educational Tribunal Panels will fall in line with those rulings.