On being unlikeable

[bolter_too]

Hi there,

Does anyone have any good stratagies for coping when one is 'not invited'. I should be used to be left out, but it still hurts. Any suggestions received gratefully.

 

Also...

 

Curious to know what other adults do for entertainment on their own.

 

Best wishes

[Amanda32]

Hi bolter_too....

Welcome to the forum I hope you have found some interesting threads or if you haven't yet just ask away to any of our members.

Are you male or female? have you been diagnosed with a disorder etc?...

Well I understand to well as I feel left out quite alot and always feel odd, pardon the word. What people tell me is hold your head up high and take no notice it's their loss. YOU ARE NOT UNLIKEABLE dont ever think that, some people are just full of themselves and only talk to you to be nosey (well that's my experience). I have actually stopped talking to some people unless they talk first as always feel they are talking behind my back well that's life but it makes me angry and upset too. For me I have 2 children, son 9yrs ASD daughter 12 and they keep me busy...You got children?....I try to get out now as I have been in the house alot so go cycling and this helps me with my new job too. Got any hobbies?.......I watch alot of films but to be honest id prefer to be on my own when the kids are not around peace and quiet. What about DIY, drawing, puzzles or anything else. Not sure what to say but if you give us more information I may be able to help more.

 

Sorry if this hasn't helped not that good at giving much advice but please ask away if you need more information about any topics.

Take care

Amanda

[Amanda32]

Try these threads......

Social interaction

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry3073

Rejection

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry4838

Amanda... <'>

Edited July 9, 2005 by Amanda32

[~Jonathan~]

I never get invited to ANYTHING and havn't been for years now. My family include me at birthdays at their houses but when they go on holiday then they talk as if I'm not in the room, by inviting Mum but not me. They'll actually say "come on S* (Mum's name), Jonathan will be fine on his own for that week." It DOES hurt but it's how they are with me, so I have had to accept it.

Edited July 9, 2005 by ~Jonathan~

[hopeful]

I have always been left out of most things to do with 'normal' society. Unfortunately one of the few 'normal' processes I ever did go through was 'normal' school attendance. The fact that I went through the complete 13 years of that just symbolises my sheer bad luck. My six years at secondary school were utterly agonising. Most of what little contact my counterparts there did make with me was just abusive.

[TuX]

bolter_too,do you want to be included in things,or do you just not like the idea that you have not been included?

You could look on the NAS site- http://www.nas.org.uk/

for a NAS day centre in the area you live in,as they allow the ASDer to get to know other ASDers,play computer games,use the internet,make music,go on holiday,learn and improve social skills and so on.

They are not suitable for everyone though,the person has to want to be with other people to make it work.

 

If you find someone who shares the same interest,it can make conversations easier,and

to find someone with same interests,look for a forum based on the interest-especially a local one.

 

 

Curious to know what other adults do for entertainment on their own.

There are quite a lot of hobbies that can be done solo,all depends on where the person lives,and their financial budget-here is some I have done and recommend,although I didn't do them all on my own-they can be for solo use-computer related hobbies-website building,graphics designing,trying out different operating systems,compile own operating system,quad biking,horse riding,archery,DJing,playing computer games....

Quad biking would require private land,as would archery-as they would be classed as a weapon so it's illegal to use on public land.

Some stables do allow people to go horse riding solo,providing they are competent riders,otherwise private land and own horse is required.

 

Here is a few computer related links if you are interested in their use for a hobby:

 

http://www.gimp.org/

^GNU Image Manipulation Program,similar to photoshop,but free and opensource.

 

http://www.linuxfromscratch.org/

^Build own linux based OS

 

http://www.linuxiso.org/

^Download,copy to cdr,and boot any of these linux or BSD based OS' (linux distributions are legally free to download and use thanks to being a part of open source,although there are some retail versions available to buy which have extra licenced software that couldn't be put on free versions)

Edited July 31, 2005 by TuX

[cutie]

Hi welcome to the boards im also new to here and im also an adult with AS!

 

For things to do on my own I tend to spend most of it on the internet i could live on the internet. I especially like to find out more about my own conditions and tend to read alot of information on adhd. Not quite got to AS as yet because it was only recnetly diagnosed.

 

I find the weather very interesting (but then dont most people in the uk..lol...it always pops up in topic conversation at least once a day). The weather intrests me when it is bad. I like tracking storms on the internet.

[elizabeth8459]

Hi guys my sister in law is 25 and she loves doing activities on her onw even though im her carer she would rather be alone than with me, she was diagnosed with Aspbegers when she was 14 she loves Drawing, watching DVD'S TV and constantly untydying and retydying her room she spends hours doing that. hope this helps she has many friends whom she has met through me and although a short attention span she will hold a conversation take care x x x