Callum_ Report post Posted July 8, 2012 (edited) Basically, my best friend used to be perfect in my eyes. Lovely girl, virgin, against drugs and anything like that. I used to feel like her number one, we were constantly laughing about stupid ###### every day. She was always about me. I'm 'ok' with friends smoking but with her it's different, she knew how I felt, and hated it herself anyway... she would have a go at her Mum for doing it around her etc. Things changed and she tried smoking as a one off, she could see I was upset about it and 'apologised' the next day. Then she became a smoker. It has ****ing killed me, and it's been several months. I avoid going out with her just in case she has a fag, it ruins my night. I don't know why I'm so bothered by it, but I feel so unreasonable, I haven't said anything to her, but she knows how I feel. I feel like she's wronged me for 'choosing fags' over me, such an unnecessary thing to start doing when she supposedly loathed it herself? I realise I'm over the top and weird, and my other best friend smokes but it doesn't bother me half as much as this. I'm so lost, and it's eating away at me. My view of her has changed. I love her so much, and I'm gutted this perfect image is being tainted. Edited July 8, 2012 by Callum_ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 8, 2012 Do you think that the main issue here is that you feel she sold out? And that you are struggling to accept how she can completely go against what she said? Things happen that challenge us, when friends do certain things, and you have to decide whether you are gonna stand by them no matter what (or almost) and when you are going to abandon them. In this case it sounds like a terrible loss of a good friendship that has defined you both in certain ways, and if it were me I would seriously sit down and consider whether I could let this thing slide. My feeling on what you should do is kinda see if you can get over it - because what you describe sounds like a really strong friendship and although this issue is massive for you - is it so massive that you would lose your friend forever over it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted July 8, 2012 PS - a lot of my family smoked and I hated it with a passion, then one day I just lit a ciggie up and started smoking - I had stupid reasons that were largely negative and a sort of ###### you to my family - but it wasn't that hard to start because I'd been passive smoking my whole life, it's a damn sight harder to quit - wish I'd never started, should have stuck with my original feelings, but I sold out to them when I started smoking. It didn't change who I was though, it wasn't even something that defined me, it was just something I did - it would have hurt if my friend at the time had dropped me because of a stupid choice and a stupid mistake.... a bit like when I stood by my friend when they went out with someone really unsuitable, I had to push my feelings to one side and let that friend make their own mistakes too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
