...This is when I could do with a friend

[lizzy-wilson]

Long time no speak..

 

Really, where do I start?!

 

Very, very stressed at work this week (I need a holiday) So much going on...which is great...just getting stupidly busy...which is not so.

At the minute, I feel like walking, I love working where I am and I love the people, just times like today shows I'm not good under pressure.

 

And to top it all off my father has peed me off big time, I thought we were getting somewhere last night and then my step-mum goes and sticks her nose in. Arhhhhh!!!!!! I really want to tell him some home truths but I know that he will end me as he always does and has done to my mother in the past; I have so much to say to him but don't have the confidence too...and am scared as to what he would say; I want to still have a relationship with him but when he and she do things or say things is when they push me away even more. When he left 11 years..no 12 years ago, it was like he stopped being a father to me and my sisters and brother but became a father to his step-kids; My brother-in-law (My elder sisters husband) was more like a father to me as he was (Still is to a certain extent) He and my sister would take me off places and do things with me to give my mother a break and to get me out, as I was four when my father left, I didn't really know what was going on. So I am very great -full to my brother-in-law for all he did when I was little. You know people say how the 'look up' to their dads, well, I can say, I didn't look and still don't but I looked up to my brother-in-law.

 

It's the first time since 1986 that my mother hasn't had to send any of us off to school in September! I know that some parents have it easy and some have it tough and I know my mum has defiantly had it tough..very tough. My brother went through hell and my sister...and then me. I want to say, how very proud of her I am and I'm sure the rest of us (My sister x2 and brother) would agree. Thank You Mum!!!!! You've made it through 20 odd years of us and survived!!! I can't say it to her face to face as I'm not good with emotion, But I love you very much!!! Your the best!!

 

Hey ho, I just wanted to get some of it off my chest. I get so lonely sometimes and really want to meet someone who understands me and would take me for who I am...just wish it would hurry up.

 

Anyway, I shall leave you all in peace!

[rufusrufus]

Hello. Hugs! Or not hugs, if hugs aren't your thing! General cope-able with levels of support from a safe distance I feel for you. Families are hard work. I also find that writing things down helps me deal with things too, though, I hope you feel a little better today.

[lizzy-wilson]

Can kinda put up with hugs!!! Only if i like the person! Thank you for replying. Still rather fed up today. Heyho life goes on.

[lizzy-wilson]

Can kinda put up with hugs!!! Only if i like the person! Thank you for replying. Still rather fed up today. Heyho life goes on.

[lizzy-wilson]

Whooops.

[rufusrufus]

Sorry, I thought I replied to this, this morning. I hope you feel better soon.