Disorganisation

[Lyndalou]

I've been having to address my issues with organisation (or disorganisation) lately.

 

My problems in this regard seem to come in cycles. There are times when I seem to be able to prioritise and work through my mental 'to do' list in a reasonably focused and productive manner although it isn't ever completely easy. Then, there are times like now when I just can't seem to deal mentally with things in the 'right' order so that for instance, even though I've noted appointments on the calender I inevitably forget them. Often, I forget to look at the calender or I read the appointment as being on another day. Often, although I've got many things I could be doing between times, I prioritise less important things or actually find myself wandering about aimlessly because I don't know what to do first.

 

I do wonder about the possibility of having ADHD and I also wonder if some of the issues may be related to dyscalculia but I'm not searching for more labels, I'm looking for some tips.

 

I'm going to start trying to write a 'To Do' list at the start of every day to try to plan my day out properly. I think I need to be quite regimented about it...maybe I'll stick post-it notes all over the house to remind me to look at my list, lol!! My husband is also reminding me about things too which I find hard but I have to accept as perhaps being a working strategy.

 

Other than this, I am a bit stuck. Planners on my phone would be a non-starter and I never could use filofaxes....??????

[robert7111a]

I wonder if your organisational problems are related to Dyspraxia which is an impairment in the organisation of thought and movement. It covers many, many issues - some of which you might see in yourself. Just a thought.

[LancsLad]

I think starting positions are very important in developing routines. I suspect the majority of people go through life functioning for the majority of the time and when things slip they start to struggle. Their presumption is they are good at doing things.

 

A few years ago I went through a period where I was really honest with myself and said in your worst times what can you do and what importantly can't you do very well. I then set about putting structures and routines into my life which support me at the times I am under pressure or depressed etc... Importantly I stick to those structures and routines 'all' the time, they are not rainy day things.

 

I believe many things can be solved through good behavioural patterns but we have to ingrain them into our lives and make them permanment features.

[rufusrufus]

My life would be utter chaos if I didn't rely on lists, or people texting me, reminding me to do things. Like you, I too seem to have phases where I'm better organised, then other times when, list or no list, I just can't get things done - I burn food, I fill the washing up bowl and forget to actually do the washing up, I shave one leg and forget the other.... I think my depression doesn't help, as even if I remember that something needs doing, sometimes I don't have the motivation to do it. I made a list ages ago of every bit of possible housework that could possibly need doing, then split it into things that needed doing every day, every few days, every week, every month, less than monthly. Then I can go through and tick off, or mark the date, when I last did something, it just helps me keep track a bit better. Making timetables and routines for myself also helps, though I feel really guilty when I can't stick to them, for whatever reason. You might find you have to try many different strategies before you settle in to something which suits you.

I hope you can find something which works for you.

[Isobel]

I seem to have this problem too. Dad has to come and help me clean the house sometimes on a regular basis just to help keep things organised. If I have an appointment more than two weeks away I have to ring and check when it is, like the vets last week.

[rufusrufus]

It can be hard to accept help, I know I definitely struggle with it, but I do hope you can find something that works for you to help you feel more organised, or maybe calmer about not always being organised, if that makes sense? I have to constantly challenge myself with little things, and it's realy hard, and I'm not sure how good at it I am really, but I keep trying

[Lyndalou]

Thanks everyone

 

Robert, I'd never really considered Dyspraxia before because I had assumed that the difficulties were more with regard to motor skills difficulties than to organisational or sequencing problems. However, looking at the symptoms listed under Dyspraxia it turns out I have many of them but of course it could just be overlap? Hubby always gets on at me for not holding plates 'straight', I bang my elbows off doorframes routinely (I put this down to proprioception issues), I can't follow instructions re movement such as in an exercise class (gave up on this a long time ago ) and 'right' and 'left' are problematic!!

 

I would presume however, dyspraxia or not that there are no 'quick fix' organisational techniques corresponding with the condition (if that's what it is)...

 

I think the main problem is that I have so many things to remember now. Lancslad, I think you are right...although I would never say that I've ever found organising myself easy, there have been times when I feel quite in control and quite on top of things and then it only takes one or two things and then my head turns into a jumble. Or, new things and new sequences (I have now recognised) require a lot of focus and perhaps then it throws everything else out of sync?

 

I use calendars. I try to get up at the same time every day and do the same things which require done (with children I don't really have a choice in that! feeding and dressing etc). I try to get certain things organised and tidied early on in the day so I can keep a clear head - rooms tidied, laundry and dishes done - I've said for a long time that I can't think straight if the things around me are out of order. Doing a sensory questionnaire highlighted the reason why I get so anxious if drawers are untidy. I try to build in 'down' periods in the day, again to try to keep a clear head... The problem is that I forget to look at my calendars and the same applies to diaries etc. I do just about muddle through but I hate people thinking I'm some sort of scatterbrain...people do tend to think they can speak down to you if you are constantly late or forget things .

 

I went away for the weekend with a friend. She is a very organised person and it highlighted my disorganisation which I found hard. I knew that if I would have had the chance to talk myself through the 'steps' of finding tickets, money or getting ready to go out then I would not have got 'muddled' but as she can make quick, on-the-go decisions I felt pressured and rather stupid. She called me 'scatty' - I really hate that!

 

Ruth, I've found that Facebook is a useful tool. I can look back on it to check appointments and times I've said I'll do things. I find it works for me better than a small line on a calender as I can see it in the context of when the appointment was made and jumpstart my memory, I suppose. I'm too disorganised to strictly stick to timetables - I've tried and just can't seem to do it!

 

Isobel, my mum came to visit and babysit for a few days last year. She thoroughly cleaned and polished my oven while I wasn't here. On one level, I reacted as I've always done and felt unconsciously that she was saying I wasn't good enough. On another level, I took what she said at face value, that she said she recognised how much work I had to do and that she wanted to help me (plus the fact that my mum is incapable of sitting still!!) and accepted the help that she had given me. Sometimes it's good to accept other people's help!

 

I wish though that I was organised. Period. It's not how it is...

 

Lynda

[Isobel]

I had a crisis of confidence today when usually spatial awareness is ok, but I was convinced I couldn't get past a parked car that was parked just slightly crooked so it looked to me like I couldn't get past because there was also a parked car opposite. Was almost going to call dad to come down before the guy suddenly turned up and drove off so all was well.