Toileting Problems

[karmadestiny]

Hi, my son is 11years & 6 mths, he has just started year 7... his height has always been above average and at 11 years old he is 5ft 8 inches tall, towering way above me...

 

I have a very sensitive and kinda ambarrassing situation were my son has never learnt to be toilet trained properly and I don't mean number 1:)....ever since he was 2 year old I have tried every single thing I could think of from diets to star charts, reward charts, sitting with him for at least 30 mins at a time, 3/4 times a day trying to get him to a regular time, to monetary incentives to buying him things he wanted...but nothings worked for more than a couple of weeks...

 

From nursery untill year 3, he would soil his pants at school each day, sometimes twice a day...as he had alternative bowel movements which couldn't be monitored or dealt with naturally...I had to literally walk to his school when needed with spare clothes and wipes etc as teachers weren't allowed to touch him...leaving him in his soiled pants for at least 20 to 30 mins until I reached his school as I didn't drive...if I was out somewere you can imagine what the situation would have been...his bag was always ready, we had to take the bag everywere we went...in the beginning it was really ambarrassing to go down with children looking on and knowing, and it was very ambarrassing for my son too but he learnt to simply choose not to think about it...it got to the point were he became a victim to bullies in his class...he was bullied for 3 years because fo this...since year 5 he has stopped soiling in school but at home its still a regular thing...I've tried talking to him about it and how important it is that he learns to use the toilet when he needs it, but he keeps saying he can't tell if he needs to go, by the time it registers it too late...medically I've talked to Gp's, he was sent to Camhs for assessment, I got the school nurse involved but no-one helped they all said 'mum you're doing a brilliant job, keep it up, he will come out of it when his body is ready'....

 

I now just deal with it when it happens but as his becoming a young man now, things aren't that easy...as a carer, I have little to no time to sit and work out what to do next...pls if you have any ideas I can try or just advice in regards to how I can make him understand the severity of his situation, I will be much obliged:)....Thank you in advance

[Mandapanda]

I wonder if you could self-refer him to the Continence Service. They deal with people of all ages 16+.

 

I think you need to get some specialist advice because I don't think you would probably know if he had something like a urine infection as he might not feel it. (I'm not saying an infection would last this long, but it could make the problem worse at times)

 

http://www.bhamcommunity.nhs.uk/about-us/services-and-corporate-departments/adults-and-communities/citywide-services/continence/

 

I don't know what they might be able to offer, but they must have various different ways of helping people identify and control bodily functions. If they are not able to provide any help to change what is happening, they might at least be able to supply products to make it less embarrassing for you both.

 

Good luck.

[karmadestiny]

I wonder if you could self-refer him to the Continence Service. They deal with people of all ages 16+.

 

I think you need to get some specialist advice because I don't think you would probably know if he had something like a urine infection as he might not feel it. (I'm not saying an infection would last this long, but it could make the problem worse at times)

 

http://www.bhamcommu...ces/continence/

 

I don't know what they might be able to offer, but they must have various different ways of helping people identify and control bodily functions. If they are not able to provide any help to change what is happening, they might at least be able to supply products to make it less embarrassing for you both.

 

Good luck.

 

Hi there Mandapanda:)...Apperantley they have cllinics that deal with problem with bedwetting but no such clinic or specialised unit for children with soiling problems...I've had problems getting my head around why that is, I would have thought the soiling problem would be seen as much more important to deal with...but I will look up the link you have sent and hope they may sign post me to someone who can help...Thank you so much for your reply, much appreciated:)!...x

[karmadestiny]

I wonder if you could self-refer him to the Continence Service. They deal with people of all ages 16+.

 

I think you need to get some specialist advice because I don't think you would probably know if he had something like a urine infection as he might not feel it. (I'm not saying an infection would last this long, but it could make the problem worse at times)

 

http://www.bhamcommu...ces/continence/

 

I don't know what they might be able to offer, but they must have various different ways of helping people identify and control bodily functions. If they are not able to provide any help to change what is happening, they might at least be able to supply products to make it less embarrassing for you both.

 

Good luck.

 

Hi Mandapanda, just flicked through the websight, God bless you for being in the right place at the right time:)!...I came across someone actually dealing with incontinance and bowel probs in my very own G.p Clinic...I'm gonna try and get in touch with the lady and see what happens...Thank you so much for sign posting me, you are an angel...I feel so grateful and blessed today...Have a wonderful day, or whats left of it;)p....x