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[Tracey63]

Hi,

 

My son - 25y - has just been diagnosed with Asperger's. For years we have been told 'He's shy - he'll grow out of it' 'He has behavioural problems' He's Depressed' or 'He has generalized anxiety disorder '.

 

This diagnosis has come as a double edged sword - in part, I am angry that this hasn't been picked up on earlier when with the right support, my son's life could have been somewhat easier - he has had a real rough ride with some very dark periods- it is also a releif that we now know what the problem is and can now try and address the symptoms. For me personally (and somewhat selfishly) it is a releif - because I have questioned why Gareth was like he was... Were my parenting skills to blame? Should I have tried harder to make my marriage to his Father work? Having suffered from bouts of Depression in the past myself - was his depression inherited from me - to know that I am not to blame.

 

I have found the forums (the ones I have managed to read through so far) a great source of comfort and advise and thank you all fro sharing your experiences as my son and I start out on our Asperger's Journey.

 

Thankyou and I hope to get to know you all in the coming months

 

Tracey

[raydon]

Hi Tracey, welcome to the forum

 

I have a lot to say, but for the moment, try not to blame yourself. 20 years ago Aspergers wasn't on the radar of most medics (I'm not sure if it is now) so a diagnosis when anxiety and depression are present is difficult. There are so many of us who have lived with this condition for most of our lives but have never been able to figure it out. It is not an illness in its self, but the associated coping (or lack of coping) strategies can well turn into illnesses in their own rights and have to be tackled separately.

 

More importantly, how does Gareth feel about his diagnosis, and does he have his own voice?

 

I wish you both well

[Linnet]

Hi Tracey, Welcome to the forum. I'm in Sheffield so not far from you. I also have a son in his 20's . My son is NT but I have Asperger's but wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 40's so a diagnosis at 25 sounds great to me.

 

L x

[smileyK]

hi tracey ,

 

i was depressed a emotional wreck before i went see a general counsellor where she picked up on 'something not right' where i was then referred to CAMHS and assessed and officially diagnosed with A.S i didn't want to go out (socially withdrawn) ,anxious i felt lost ,scared/trapped confused didn't understand why i couldn't explain to people how i feel inside or what was really going on as didn't understand myself i felt bad guilty that i couldn't have an answer.

 

i often wondered why i struggled with certain tasks that was easy to others around me and i used get frustrated angry. i turned to self-harm before and after my diagnosis to cope and manage with my out of control life and feelings! i blamed myself pushed everyone away!

 

i was put on anti-depressants medications and had different types of therapies (CBT ,family therapy sessions) i struggled piece together my life. i felt like a failure i felt useless and my low self-esteem just feeded into the depressive state in was in just wanted to run and hide!

 

at same time i was officially diagnosed with A.S i also officially diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and secondary depression.Depression also runs in my family ( on my mum's side) my mum for years different types ( PND and now depression) she on meds, my mum's brother (my uncle) my auntie ( my mum's sister) my nan ( my mum's mum) so long list of genetic depression there but with added A.S there it complicates things and makes things more difficult to work out.

 

i hope your son and you can find some kind of inner peace and understanding behind this situation and piece together the missing pieces of the jigsaw! it all takes time to work through! it's an emotional rollercoaster especially with depression too added to the situation make it harder to battle/fight as it is draining emotionally.

 

you feel weak and like everything hopeless!!!

 

XKLX

[smileyK]

i'm now on medication anti-depressants seem to keep me more balanced stable with my moods seem to be the right medication for me suitable as work on mental health issues i have ( Social anxiety disorder ,depression,Obsessive Compulsive thoughts) i am working part-time which seems to also help keep me busy focused and healthy mentally

 

i try and keep busy with other activities like the gym or swimming trying keep physically active to get natural 'happy chemicals' working instead of just relying on medication on it's own! i discovered A.S through my MH issues (so by accident really) at the time it was all such a mess .... i always felt 'different' to others out there my age i felt nothing quite fit but couldn't get actually why until A.S came along as an answer looking back like you are with your son's struggles /battles i can see how etc like you probably can! everything makes sense now!

 

XKLX

[smileyK]

i now doing presentation on monday afternoon at local college as my former college tutor we close i did it last year to create Asperger's awareness/understanding as find this is positive outcome for situation maybe make others out there fully understand what 'our world' 'our life' is really like (reality) i never thought this was possible a few years back due to mental state and also working part -time is a real surprise!

 

i was also bitter/angry/disappointed of 'the late diagnosis' situation of having to go through all what i have hellish nightmare emotional upheaval and rollercoaster of really high up followed by some real heavy dark drops of come downs which get dragged down by! so i can empathise from 1st hand experience! that it had taken so long to find something out! gr!

Edited November 16, 2012 by smileyK