Healthy Alternatives.

[Eustace]

Greetings,

 

I'm due for my final NHS appointment on Tuesday, and shall bring this up with them if things don't get too insane, yet, I feel I want to ask this here, with people I can trust.

 

Since I was but a boy I have played games; it's a time and place wherein I can be alone, and a means by which I can cease the thoughts that cause me undue stress throughout the day. However, recently, I'm really struggling to stop. I have become a man who seeks knowledge and I aspire to write books - this an aspiration I seek and crave dearly. Yet, I find myself being literally pulled into games all the time, and if I ever do something, I do it fully or not at all; it's a case of, if I want to do something, it's that and absolutely nothing else. Because of this, I can spend entire days on games. I absolutely hate games now ... no, I hate my NEED to play games.

 

I understand this is natural for one who is under high amounts of stress, that is, a need for repose, but, I need an alternative, a means by which I can cease this addiction. I too smoke a lot, mainly in public and after stressful events because it is the best means to calm down.

 

What I want to ask is how I can cease these final addictions. In my head, these final addictions are to be quelled on January 1st 2015 ... that's just when it has to be done. I really need to stop the addictions, and the way things work with me is precisely that way ... on blocks of pattern. Am I placing too much pressure on myself? And should I continue just while my diagnosis is finishing and I enter my and the new era as it were?

 

Thank you for reading, it warms me to know people do.

 

Eustace.

[Mihaela]

If you accept that you have an addiction, you're half-way to curing it. OCD is an addiction; OC traits are not. An addiction is a disorder, in other words, it unduly interferes with normal daily living.

 

There are two types, those that damage the body or cause you to lose money (gambling) and those that don't. The first type should be eliminated altogether. The second type need to be reduced to levels where they simply become occasional pastimes. You need to be in control of them, rather than the reverse. Also if there's secrecy surrounding an addiction it suggests strong feelings of guilt - which isn't good.

Games are good for relaxing, but it's unrealistic to be wanting to relax all the time. We also need to exercise our brains in other ways - and our bodies too. There's no harm in playing games in moderation, and the aim needs to be to reduce your dependence on them, rather than to eliminate them from your life. CBT can easily do this, just as it can reduce OC traits to a manageable level. Some would say that I have an addiction to learning - it comes very high in my life - but they'd be wrong, for, as a lone Aspie, it causes no harm to myself or to others. Philomathia is a special interest of the collecting type - the collecting of knowledge (I have a brain that soaks it up like a sponge!).

If you want to seek knowledge and write books, and yet you can't due to your dependence on games, then you are truly addicted and need therapy to achieve your goals. My big problem is hard-wired in my brain - executive dysfunction, which means I'm useless with money and inefficient and, although I'd like to publish books, this prevents me. (At least I've published in various obscure journals and on the internet - which is something).

I hate my NEED to play games.

 

Exactly! It's not the games that are the problem, but rather it's your dependence on them. You have unwittingly become their slave.

 

Games and smoking are not good coping strategies. You need to find others that are less addictive and don't cause damage to your health. Mine include walking in the countryside, flowers, my cats, my voluntary work, light reading, art, music and poetry.

Edited December 8, 2014 by Mihaela

[Eustace]

Hello Mihaela,

 

I am going to cure these final two addictions of mine, and am taking steps in order to help myself. I intend to do it myself purely because I am a very strong-willed person, and because I have such a strong dislike towards these things, I think I'm three quarters of the way to achieving my goal.

 

The smoking is not secretive at all; both my parents smoke tremendous amounts so hearing them cough all day and night only helps in my want to stop. The gaming however is something I try to hide, and your words relating to how this is due to guilt make entire sense. Perhaps I'll talk to my mother about it, to get it out in the open. I suppose out of all games, chess would be healthy? I love chess ever so much.

 

How to you measure how ... absorbent your brain is at soaking up knowledge? I'd very much like to judge my own.

 

I'm okay with money actually, very cautious and my management is generally very good, yet, I really struggle with my routine, but this is due to many factors. I have published one thing on the UK foreign commonwealth office, which is also on many other websites, which is pretty nice.

 

Yes, I am a slave to games... but no more. I'm done! But if one asks for a game of chess... yes sir or madame.

 

I intend to bring up better coping strategies with the professionals I see, but my counsellor is one who specializes in mindfulness, and although I can see the obvious benefits and means to go about achieving what it is mindfulness attempts to achieve, I find it tremendously difficult to do so. Calming thoughts and trying to control my hypersensitivity seems impossible at this present time. Perhaps soon I'll be able, yet for the meantime I shall keep trying.

 

Eustace.

[Mihaela]

I suppose out of all games, chess would be healthy? I love chess ever so much.

Scrabble too! I find all intellectual challenges games of a kind. Unravelling the truth, often very deeply hidden, is a truly enjoyable game for me. A game with a serious intention and result. I also make up my own games using words, patterns and numbers. Talking of chess, have you studied the knight's tour? I spent many absorbing hours playing with these, with the intention of breaking a cipher which is far from trivial.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=knight%27s+tour&biw=1024&bih=489&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=6c-LVJLRLM-Uaq_CgKgD&ved=0CCwQsAQ

Paradoxes of all kinds can be fun too!

 

How do you measure how ... absorbent your brain is at soaking up knowledge? I'd very much like to judge my own.

 

I suppose IQ tests effectively measure this up to a point, but as far as I know there's no specific absorbancy test. I wonder what my AQ would be!

 

I'm okay with money actually, very cautious and my management is generally very good,

Due to my ED, I'm frugal by default, so in turn by default, my management must be 'good', but I can't play an active role in that management. The very thought makes me panicky.

 

I really struggle with my routine, but this is due to many factors. I have published one thing on the UK foreign commonwealth office, which is also on many other websites, which is pretty nice.

Interesting. One of my special interests is the British 'establishment', which includes the FCO, MI6, royalty, legal system, etc. I've read widely in this field, and have even been consulted by several well-known researchers on the intelligence services, but I still consider myself something of an amateur.

Although my routine is crucial for my security, it still allows quite enough flexibility for me, so I don't feel enslaved by it in any way.

...although I can see the obvious benefits and means to go about achieving what it is mindfulness attempts to achieve, I find it tremendously difficult to do so.

So would I. Most of the time, my mind is just too active. Distractions can lead me in very interesing directions. That's how I learn and it encourages those all-important flashes of insight.

Good luck!

Edited December 13, 2014 by Mihaela

[Eustace]

Hello Mihaela,

 

I love most games that require a certain level of logic, most recently I've become quite inclined towards Sudoku. With chess, I'm fighting with myself really, because I know an average amount about moves and strategies, but you see, me being the way I am, when I am fascinated by something, I study it in detail. This eventually leads to my complete understanding on the subject and the resulting thought of 'well, I've mastered this now, so what's next?' My love for chess is so strong, I really want to study it in its entirety, but fear in doing so I will lose the fun aspect of playing the game and longer enjoy it, playing it purely as a means to win.

 

Ah the famed IQ test(s). I've told myself I'd never do one, for I'm quite content in who I am and how my intelligence manifests itself. By AQ do you mean Aspergers Quotient?

 

And I wholeheartedly understand about the distractions and their inspiring qualities on occasion, yet most of the time, they cause me such distress.

 

Thank you,

 

Eustace.