KarenM Report post Posted August 26, 2005 After weeks of being hit and swore at by my dx daughter of 11. I have started to avoid her. I have asked her if she would rather I did not chat to her unless she approached me first . Of course i have to ask her basic stuff like what do you want for your tea . I am sad about this but maybe this could be a answer . I have'nt been hit or swore at for a day. Also I guess as kids get older they don't want there boring mams bothering them anyway . I suppose more so if their an aspie and hate chit chat .Any comments please ? Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 26, 2005 I find its sometimes easier not to try to have a conversation with my son as I know when he's in the mood to talk he'll say. Even when it comes to tea etc its a direct question usually, fish or chicken etc and I get a blunt answer usually. Conversations with him are usually on his terms, talking about what he wants to, no point asking too many questions etc as I rarely get an answer. It can be upsetting not being able to talk to your children, but its about whats right for you and your family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenM Report post Posted August 28, 2005 To me life is all about being able to talk to people. I have to accept for dd life most definately isn't or my aspie tendancies husband for that matter either. My other daughter is a chatter box so i will have to chit chat to her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted August 28, 2005 You know I've had people look really badly at me because I've sat on a bus or somewhere like that for long periods of time and not spoken to my son. What they don't realise is that Mark is happy with me for doing this, he's more comfortable when I'm not speaking to him than when I am and it means that he can get on with what he'd rather be doing which is watching the cars go by. I am convinced that my son often gets angry because he can't do two things at once and me gabbling along to him when he is trying to concentrate on the cars around him is often too much to bear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted August 29, 2005 yes i agree with you, my son only gives one word answers anyhow, and i think i talk to him cos it makes me feel better, but he couldnt care less. it hurts i know, but he talks to me when he wants to usually about star wars but hey ho its better than nothing!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Minxygal Report post Posted August 29, 2005 We know that Mark loses some of his senses when he is under extreme stress. We've known this for quite a while but were lucky enough to have an EP witness this during a blow off in the classroom a few years ago. Mark was taken from the room and put in a tiny isolation room where there was very little noise to calm down. He'd been in there a while with the EP sitting beside him quietly. Later on Mark asked if she were a fairy. When asked why he said that she appeared as if by magic. What we now know happened was that as he calmed down he was able to see her but not before. We know that Mark also has problems in other areas too. When things have gone wrong in the classroom and Mark has got himself completely worked up, he often describes that he can see his teachers mouth moving but can't hear any words coming out. It takes a while before he can hear whats going on around him and of course by then he's coming back down again. If we feed an obsession and Mark finds himself doing something that he is totally up for and really interested in, he can't speak to anyone and stares directly ahead. This was evident when he went horseriding for the first time. He was concentrating on the task in hand and couldn't cope with anyone or anything else at the same time, so he shuts it all out and appears completely domant. This was also evidenced when we arranged to spend a few hours at the local fire station. It was Marks biggest wish and he was so thriled to go. When we got there he shut down. No smiles, no eye contact no speech, nothing. The firemen were quite disturbed and were convinced he was hating the experience. It took me a while to make them see that he was savouring the whole experience. Two days later he never shut up about his day out. I was lucky enough to get the chance to ask Wendy Lawson about this and she said that she'd met other children who 'shut down' to this extent. When I look at the way my son shuts down when he's had enough it makes me shiver to wonder what it feels like to be touched at that time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted August 30, 2005 ooh i wish we could get into our kids heads just for one day - then we could feel exactly what these experiences are like to them. It would help a great deal if someone wrote a book explaining how it feels to be touched and stared at etc............. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
