High school open evening

[witsend]

Hi all - haven't posted or been around for a while think I've finally been letting recent (AS) diagnosis sink in! Was so relieved when Dec was diagnosed I think I thought some kind of magic wand had been waved and i would have infinite reserves of patience and understanding and life would just generally become easier!! Needless to say NOT!! If anything over the past couple of weeks his AS has become increasingly obvious and at times I've felt way out of my depth again

Anyway when I did last post it was re high schools choice and the dilemma between local mainstream and (much) further away more specialist school. It seems just when I decide on one school above the other something happens to change my mind. Went to open evening of local (mainstream) school tonight and have to say I thought it was OK, talked to the SENCO and (more usefully) some of the kids (one of the boys who showed us round had SEN) and I was quite impressed. Thing is it's so hard to gauge off Dec wether he thinks the school is right for him!! He spent the first bit (headmasters address - bit boring even for me)

banging his head against the wall then hiding in the stage curtains to the point where I lost him altogether! Then when we took a tour of the various classes etc he was too busy inspecting some point of the architecture to notice the content of the subject matter in hand

I talked to the SENCO who put me off slightly by saying Dec must be 'very mild AS' because he gave her eye contact - but apart from that seemed to be OK. We finished by observing a drama class which Dec loved and I had trouble dragging him away from - but when I asked him what he thought of the school he just said 5 out of 10 and now I don't know how much to guide him towards liking this school or not! (Does that make sense?)

We are going to open evening of other school next week so suppose will see what happens then. Suppose I had just hoped that I would go to school and think 'yes this is right place for him' but can't say that happened tonight but then neither did I think this is the wrong place for him either!

Sorry am really tired and confused don't know what I'm trying to say really - except how much do you listen and take note of your childs viewpoint and when do you decide that it's actually you that has to make the descision and how do you make it?

Luv Witsend.

[Zemanski]

Com didn't give us much of a guide - of the 4 schools we visited he preferred 2 but that was all.

 

most of the decision in the end was based on the provision and atmosphere, and how staff talked to him

 

but the deciding factors were:

 

1. there was a bus route to one school he could be trained to use so he could learn some independence

 

2. he sucked his thumb a lot less in one school than the other!

 

Zemanski

[lisa]

Witsend

 

I'd probably be a bit wary of this school if the SENCO was already saying his AS was mild because he gave eye contact. Doesn't bode too well for the future. The SENCO at my son's primary school, amongst many other outrageous comments over the years, once said that my J "doesn't have AS because he looks at you".

 

J has just started at secondary school. We did the school open days in years 5 and 6 and we visited practically every school in our borough and the 2 neighbouring boroughs. I think sometimes you get a really good feeling about a school and you know that that's the one. Make sure you speak to all the SENCO's and ask if they run social skills groups, if they have any other children with AS currently attending the school and how they support them.

 

So far, our son is doing better in secondary school than we ever dared imagine. I thought that he may have problems moving to different classrooms and different teachers but it almost seems the opposite. We chose a school that was quite spaced out with different subjects being taught in different buildings so that there wouldn't be so much corridor crush at lesson changeovers. He finds it easier that he only has to concentrate for 1 hour slots and then gets a little break while moving to the next classroom. He's also finding the lessons really enjoyable and much more stimulating. The children have to sit in alphabetical order mainly girl/boy so you don't tend to get groups of troublesome kids sitting together. There's also some sort of order as you're always sitting in the same place, next to the same person (although this could backfire if they're the one sitting next to the class bully, luckily J's sitting next to a really nice girl!!).

 

I think it's also important to chose a school that motivates through rewards and has a positive approach rather than concentrating on only punishing bad behaviour. J has collected 8 merit marks in his first 2 weeks and we're all delighted. J hated primary school with a vengence but he really seems to be enjoying secondary.

 

Ask about lunchtime clubs and quiet areas. J's school has a "quiet club" specificially directed at kids who may find break and lunchtimes hard. They can go to this room and play computers or snooker etc. and it's supervised which is a bonus for anyone worried about bullying.

 

Hope some of this is helpful. Good luck with the school hunt.

 

Lisa

[witsend]

Thanks for the advice - am just going to wait and see what the other school we are seeing next week is like before I think about it all much more, I have a feeling my son may like it more than me and there will be further dilemmas but watch this space! Zemanski I agree about how the staff speak to your child being important and the SENCO was OK on that score, but also have to agree with Lisa I was a bit concerned when she immediately said my sons AS must be 'mild' cos of the eye contact thing, even me with my recently aquired knowledge thought this was a bit 'not right'

Don't think I mentioned in my last post one of the pupils who showed us round had SEN and he seemed happy and comfortable with the school so that was pretty encouraging. Anyway as I say will see next school before I decide anything just want to add how frustrating it is that no one at the school or LEA is 'allowed' to advise (ie name) which school they think my son should go to- it's a mad world eh?

Edited September 16, 2005 by witsend