Maria Report post Posted October 17, 2005 My son (12, Asperger) copes surprisingly well at mainstream secondary school with about 1000 pupils. He actually seems to be much happier within himself as he was in primary school. But there is one thing I just wonder whether it is tipical AS or "normal" for this age. He never invites friends round and he is never been invited to go to anybody of his "friends". Now half term is close and where my nt daughter is always buisy organizing to see her friends, my son is sitting at home, playing rune scape, reading and watching TV. I am not quite sure where the problem lies. When I ask him why he never invites his "friends" (his adament in reassuring me he got loads of friends at school) he just smiles and says he would actually like to see one of them during half term, but his room is in a mess and he can not invite anybody for that reason. I offered him to tidy up which is something he hates. He has also a big pproblem of throwing away broken , old toddler toys which are still lying around his room. Well, I don't know whether to push him more to try and see somebodz out of school or to just leave him alone as long as he seems happy????? Maria Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
streamdreams Report post Posted October 17, 2005 I think you are doing exactly thi right thing , first you are talking about it. Why not try to tidy up in stages a bit at a time, he may feel less disoriented that way. plan in a treet so halway you can say lets break for ice cream or what ever a great treat would be and both have some in the room. I would say gently persuing it is the right thing to do. socilisation need and require practace and un tidy room is a silly price to pay. My kist hate tidying up but it has to get done or we woud go mad. J Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted October 18, 2005 Com is in the process of making his first, self-chosen, friend at high school. This is his first 'real' friend there, the others are just people he talks to, or who talk to him. He was really keen to invite him home but had absolutely no idea how, doesn't even know how to start a conversation with him - it doesn't help that he didn't even recognise J outside the after school club they go to and J is younger so doesn't share classes with him. I got Com's LSA on board and together we have helped Com make contact. J has now been over twice and his mum said she'd have Com round a while back but it hasn't happened yet. We've persuaded school to let Com take J on his reward trips too. it is a painfully slow process for Com and I worry that J will lose interest but Com is so much happier with a good friend it's well worth the effort. Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted October 19, 2005 we have kids home to play and she seem to want to jump in with sleep overs, we take it all, but it is sad, cos she is desparate for a friend girls i think i different , C x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted October 19, 2005 My 12 year old also thinks he has lots of friends at school when in reality they are only acquantances and not actually friends. He has never had anyone over to play nor gone to anyone else's. He does like it when his older (15) or younger (8) brothers have friends over and thinks they are his friends too (which is not always reciprocal). However, at this moment in time he does not seem to be bothered about not having anyone over, so I am not worried about this. I think that when the time comes I'll realise this (I hope...) and can help him meet up then. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
