Maria

Hi Haven't posted for ages. Sorry if you already know about this. I am currently reading "Finding a different kind of normal" by Jeanette Purkis who has Aspergers and wrote an autobiography about her incredable childhood and especially, teenage life. I just can't stop reading.....it's just amazing how she survived. I would say it is not a "tipical" Aspie story. If you want to get more information about the book, go on http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/womanshour/04/2006_07_thu.shtml This link should take you to the programm which was on February 16th on woman's hour: Women and autism. Good luck Maria

My son (12, Asperger) copes surprisingly well at mainstream secondary school with about 1000 pupils. He actually seems to be much happier within himself as he was in primary school. But there is one thing I just wonder whether it is tipical AS or "normal" for this age. He never invites friends round and he is never been invited to go to anybody of his "friends". Now half term is close and where my nt daughter is always buisy organizing to see her friends, my son is sitting at home, playing rune scape, reading and watching TV. I am not quite sure where the problem lies. When I ask him why he never invites his "friends" (his adament in reassuring me he got loads of friends at school) he just smiles and says he would actually like to see one of them during half term, but his room is in a mess and he can not invite anybody for that reason. I offered him to tidy up which is something he hates. He has also a big pproblem of throwing away broken , old toddler toys which are still lying around his room. Well, I don't know whether to push him more to try and see somebodz out of school or to just leave him alone as long as he seems happy????? Maria

Hello Montague your situation sounds a bit like ours. Our son (12) has been diagnosed at the age of 11. We struggled to tell him but finally did. Many will be surprised when I say I am still not sure whether it was a good idea. He did not like the fact of being different at all. He read Luke Jackson's book and could relate to some things , but not at all to others. I must also say that I am sometimes still not a hundred percent convinced that he actually has Aperger's. His confidence has grown so much in the last 2 years. Asperger's is not really an issue anymore . But now his got the label and he might ask himself, what's wrong with me? I'm not that different, am I? I don't know. What if he was wrongly diagnosed? Sorry, I think I am drifting off now. Just wanted to say that not every child feels having a diagnosis is liberating. Maria

My son's (11) fears are: Wasps, insects deep water sitting in a boat sudden loud bangs germs obsessions he used to have more when he was younger. Now I prefer to call them hobbies, rather than obsessions: Computer (Ceasar 3, creating slide shows with Microsoft Power Point, Rune Scape) Washing hands, not as a hobby though being convinced to be allergic to fruits Maria

Hi Esther, Leon is the same. He only likes pasta with tomato sauce, rice, chips, fishfingers. He doesn't like vegetables or salad but at least he started recently to eat apples without me having to cut them for him...He is 11 in MAy and still chokes when eating apples from time to time and starts pannicking when it happens. He forces him self to eat more healthy, because he knows he needs vitamines. He is very interested in the human body which is a good thing. Leon is a VERY slow eater. Has this something to do with Asperger? We had a few problems with the dinner ladies in the past who told him off for being so slow. (He is slow in everything basically, is this tipical?) I think they have to finish their meal in 10 minutes or so which sounds very unhealthy to me.... Maria

>>If it was me, I'd probably tell him to say "Hast La Vista Baby" or something when they come up with 'Germinator'<< Hi Esther, how funny, my mother suggested exactly the same . .... I probably have to suggest it to Leon. Thank you very much for your sympathy. I think I'll go and have a word with his teacher after the holidays. Hi Nelly, thanks for the links they are very useful. Maria

Hi Purdy I think I know how you feel. My son , also 10, has been diagnosed 2 months ago with Asperger. We decided not to tell him at the moment because he is trying not to be the odd one out at school anymore. He seams to be fine and the last thing he wants to here at the moment is to be different. So we'll wait and see.... My son also doesn't fit the whole picture of Asperger. He for example has a great sense of humour and can read facial expression. But he has obsessions and phobias and difficulties to make friends. The phobia was the reason in the first place for searching professional help. Luckely we had no problem to get him diagnosed because his wasp phobia was so accute. He has also been bullied at school because he is not sporty and slightly clumsy. Some of the boys pick on him because he is German. They call him "Germinator" or even worse, "Hitler". This hurts, but he does not want me to tell the teacher, because he does not want to get attention from everybody. I think he just wants to be "normal" at the moment. Purdy, take your time and yes, I also think it helps to get a propper diagnoses. Maria