virtualvisual Report post Posted October 31, 2005 James is now at secondary school and not coping at all, he doesn't have a diagnosis of anything apart from learning delay but he does have a place in the support for learning base. In class he is polite, quiet and no trouble, at break time he is a clown playing about with silly voices and doing anything to get the others to like him but the minute he gets into the taxi to come home all hell breaks loose. Alex and Rosita are getting bullied by their own brother and I've reached the end of my tether over it. He is rude, abusive and violent to all of us during the week (he's better behaved at the weekend when his dad is home but he still has a go at them if he gets the chance) I can't leave him alone in the room with the other 2 at all, even getting changed has to be done in shifts or he'll thump Alex. School see none of this and nor does his psychatrist (shes never even flaming met him ) so I've made an appointment to see the school nurse tomorrow. She was fantastic (along with the school doctor) in helping me get Alexs support and DLA sorted so I'm going to ask her to talk to the other 2 to get their views on James behaviour and go to the support base with that. Noone is listening to me so I'm kinda hoping that they might listen to her if she gets a picture from the kids rather than me. What do you think? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted October 31, 2005 (edited) School see none of this and nor does his psychatrist (shes never even flaming met him ) so I've made an appointment to see the school nurse tomorrow. She was fantastic (along with the school doctor) in helping me get Alexs support and DLA sorted so I'm going to ask her to talk to the other 2 to get their views on James behaviour and go to the support base with that. Noone is listening to me so I'm kinda hoping that they might listen to her if she gets a picture from the kids rather than me. What do you think? Hello V V, I think your idea is a sensible one, although I'd like to suggest to you that perhaps you should consider being present during this question time(?) You wouldn't have to say anything... I was only thinking that your presence could give your two other children some reassurance that they are able to speak freely about their brother. If you don't want to be present then may I suggest that once the nurse has had a chance to speak with your two children that you ask her for some written feedback for your own records. My son was a model pupil in primary school, I thought I'd better make the staff aware of his temper/his bad language (he only swears when he is in a temper), but noone would believe me. Just after he entered secondary school I made the staff aware of his temper, again the staff didn't believe me because my son conformed to school life. At home he would focus his anger on his elder sister, he would throw things at her, anything that wasn't nailed down, e.g. the telephone, remote controls, the hoover, a dinning chair - anything. He came after her with a knife one day, he's tried to throw her down the stairs a few times. My son is nearly fourteen. Things have changed dramatically in the last year or so, where school is concerned. He's still a polite and very well mannered young man but woe betide anyone who attempts to deliberately upset him; the staff have witnessed his temper outbursts on a few occasions. Edited October 31, 2005 by Helen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted October 31, 2005 my 4 year old is same at home he bulleys his 3 year old brother something awfull, i too can not leave them in same room for a min i do shifts on them too one stays in one room while i see to other cause when they come gether all hell breaks loose,mainly cause my 4 year olds probs with taking everything literal-and confusion over conversations-which then lead to major blow out. it is very hard work,i cant even go to the loo[i have to take one with me to make sure nothing starts up],or one in the kitchen with me other in living room,ect................ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virtualvisual Report post Posted October 31, 2005 I have thought about being present when she speaks to Rosita but I've already had to fight off the munchenhausen by proxy accusations so I'd rather it was dealt with without me even being present. Rosita is quite prepared to talk to the nurse, shes very articulate and although she's James twin she is years ahead of him socially (they are 11 btw). I've been dealing with the nurse for the last 3 years and she is a true star, I will ask her to pass a report on what Rosita says to the school doctor, that means I'll get a copy and there will be a record on file that she has informed the base of his behaviour. Our school doctor (apart from having a penchant for suggesting ritalin for everything) is brilliant and will take great delight in demanding something be done by the hospital team. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted November 1, 2005 don't let them mess you around, get it moving and keep it moving Com has a full statement and was fine in Y7 but in Y8 the senco, also not believing me about his behaviour deteriorating, removed support because he was doing fine but didn't bother to tell us. we have spent a year fighting the school over the problems this caused, first at home, then in school culminating in suicide threats, wrecked classrooms and assaulted staff. his cognitive functioning fell 40 centiles over the year. ask to speak to the EP once you have results from the nurse and doctor and contact the advisor or team for autism - you can find their numbers on the LEA website under social inclusion usually. these two between them have turned everything around for Com - he now has loads of ASD provision, time of time table to relax and have 1-1 and they jump when we say 'boo!' you could also ask the GP for a referral to CAHMS separately while everything else is going on - this can take ages and you may regret it later if you don't start it soon and things get worse. don't let it get as bad as it was for Com - he is going to need years of extra support (far more than before) to rebuild his confidence and functioning. Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virtualvisual Report post Posted November 2, 2005 Well it went a lot better than I could have hoped, it turns out that the nurse has a son who has similar problems and is the perfect child behaviour wise in school and a nightmare at home so she understood what I was waffling about. She has taken a lot of notes and was talking to James' guidence teacher and the support base yesterday. The school doctor is in today so shes going to get her to throw her weight behind us and get onto the ed pscyh. you could also ask the GP for a referral to CAHMS separately while everything else is going on - this can take ages and you may regret it later if you don't start it soon and things get worse James is already under CAHMS but we've been stuck with a psychatrist who is convinced his only problem is the fact this birth father died (andhis overbearing mother I think). James has a place in the support for learning base so there is an assistant in all of his classes and he has dropped french so he can have extra lessons in the base but he won't admit he needs any support. He spent most of last night ranting that he doesn't want to be in the base and he might as well be dead anyway. I've told the nurse that he's said this before and I suspect he's very close to selfharming. I'm expecting a phone call or two today so we'll see how that goes but I'm kinda hoping that he WILL lose the plot and throw a wobbler in school then at least they will see how stressed out he really is, god that makes me sound like such an unfeeling cow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
