ksasnic Report post Posted February 19, 2006 I found these on a philosophy discussion board and thought these are pretty literal A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!" On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?" A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and Spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken", the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal." A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, five, and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus. A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're the poorest preacher we've ever had." A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?" An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. "May I take your order?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
~Jonathan~ Report post Posted February 19, 2006 (edited) I especially loved the flea one Thanks for those <'> Edited February 19, 2006 by ~Jonathan~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
redberry Report post Posted February 19, 2006 Really made me laugh! Im supposed to be revising too.. Anatomy and Physiology mock tomorrow...gulp. I am having a break from the endocrine system and these have made me hoot! Thank you. Love the flea one and the Pancake Jesus one too! redberry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ksasnic Report post Posted February 19, 2006 yup they made me smile too !!! a little too many Jesus ones for my liking but funny nonetheless and well it was a philosophical discussion forum lol - they had to discuss something !!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
