cmuir Report post Posted February 26, 2006 Hi Getting ready bogged down... My 4 year is currently being assessed for an ASD (likely to be Aspergers). I'm being passed from pillar to post by our consultant. Rang her last week to say "I've now got in my posession 17 reports compiled by various specialists since July last year, yet why is that information either not being looked at properly or why is is deemed to be insufficient information to provide a diagnosis?". Also pushed for approximate date for diagnosis, asked if we were looking at 6 months or a year ? response was "a few months". That's quite positive. In the meantime, am getting no support from organisations that could help. This morning took son to park when it was very quiet. Watched in dread as car loads of kids pulled up by the side of the road beside the park. Robert was initially okay, but became a bit 'frenzied'. He was to be watched very closely as he has previously tried to hit a baby in a buggy. He acts very threatening to wards small toddlers (circles them growling and gritting his teeth at them). He has great difficulty interacting with other children and adults alike apprpriately. He stands very close (invades personal space and doesn't reaslise it). He is generally extremely volatile, ranging from being happy one minute, to becomes extremely angry the next, for no obvious reason. Just feeling really sorry for myself (and my son) just now. Can't even take him to the park without planning the trip like a military operation. Robert attends mainstream nursery with full one to one support. Other parents give us a very wide berth and won't allow their children to mix with us outwith nursery; one mother (who should be utterly ashamed of herself!) raised her voice and told my son that she and her son weren't walking down the road home with Robert. (My mother-in-law was with Robert at the time and was most annoyed and told her so ? so glad I wasn't there, I'd have been furious!). So what do I do? I can't have my son turning into a hermit, yet no one will come near us! I'd be very grateful for advice/suggestions. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gromit Report post Posted February 26, 2006 Hi there, really sorry your little boy is struggling, its hard enough dealing with the whols ax process but other parents can be a ###### pain. Not so long ago I was on here at the end of my tether as parents had been writing anonymous letters to the school complaining about my son. (these were passed on to me by the VERY unprofessional HT but thats another matter) I was paranoid and stressed both at what my son was going through but also thought that everyone was against us. Had confrontations in the playground which was ridiculous and overheard many comments about my boy. All that plus the total absence of any invites to parties.....thats not true, he went to 1 last year which ended in a meltdown and the parents of his classmate looking on and tutting. Since then I've tried talking to other parents a bit more, NOT to explain my sons behaviour in any depth but just so's they see that its difficult for him and us. Dont get me wrong, some parents just think my boy is a wee git and I'm probably to blame..........well stuff them, their kids will only pick up intolerance from them, which is a shame. But I have to say that more people talk to me now. I dont want pity, if anything what I've noticed is that the parents I do talk to, their kids now have a better relationship with my son. My son now has one friend and he's 7. I think what I'm trying to say in a VERY longwinded manner is try not to write off all the other parents. Some of them will understand, some wont but dont give up trying to include your boy in stuff. As for the lack of support your recieving just now, I'm sure someone else will be along who can pint you in the right direction as it sounds like you've got evidence coming out of your ears that your son needs it. Take care and stay strong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted February 26, 2006 Hi Caroline, i am totally understanding where you are coming from. The bit about watching from the park as a car load of kids come in feeling nothing but dread, i am with you on that one! Been there so many times it's a crying shame. I hated it and would dread what my son would say or do. It was usually temper tantrums or saying totally inappropriate stuff to the other kids. as for the bit about growling at babies, well Lewis would be quite sweet sometimes to little babies but god forbid it should get to the top of that slide first, i've seen him shove a toddler off (luckily it was a very low slide ) also he was actually very nasty to the younger ones in his Nursery, he would make a beeline for one or two who were so frightened they didn't want to come to Nursery anymore That was devestating to hear. But as time goes on you grow the thickest skin and you deal with these horrible ignorant people. your little boy has every right to be in the park or anywhere else so don't keep him in just because of some ignorant people who don't have a clue. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it will get better. Lewis was the same age as your boy when he was at his worst and i just didn't see it ever getting asny better. I felt utter despair and wouldn't take him to the park or swimming or to the supermarket (still don't do that bit, but can't win em all ) i would get off a bus in the pouring rain and walk the rest of the way home if he kicked off, i just couldn't handle it. But now? hell mend anyone who has something nasty to say It is NOT your fault and it is NOT his fault, just you remember that, hold your head up high and sod the rest. I have cards that i can hand to people if they have something smart to say. It says that my son has an ASD and to have tolerance. I can give you some if you think it might help? as for the multi-disciplinary team you talk of who aren't being helpful, hell mend them when your Consultant comes back from sick leave It is true you have to push for it and the help that they can provide, but that is what they are there for. Have your son's Nursery been in touch with VTSS (Visiting teaching support services) They are based at the same place and were very helpful to us pre-dx. I had some brilliant advice from them. stick with it hon, you will get there, and you are welcome here anytime! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted February 26, 2006 Hi Caroline Yeh, it used to fill me with dread when my asd son wanted to go to swing park and then he would freak if anyone else came into the park. When we used to come near to the park, and I saw other children there - I just about came out in a cold sweat................. Like Kirstie says - the visiting teaching support services would be good to contact - they gave me alot of help with my son as well. Take care Forbsay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
