BuntyB Report post Posted March 7, 2006 Hi everyone, I suppose I'm feeling guilty that I should be the one not coping this morning due to school problems with my daughters. It's PE today (so even worse than usual) and as soon as I wake L she starts crying because she doesn't want to go to school. I'm sure school are sick of me because I have contacted them so many times about how distressed she is and they always tell me she is fine once she gets to school. It gets very upsetting for me, listening to her crying and pleading with me not to make her go. I swing between sympathising- I know the thought of school is awful- I've been there! and trying to be firm with her because if I don't get her there every day, I fear the broken routine will be worse. Some days I wish I could teach them at home and I wonder if I am being selfish going to Uni instead of being at home, but i hope that ultimately i can give them more in the future. I struggle to teach them anything at home because i get ignored and they do learn more at school. Last week she turned round and said 'Ok, you win, as always', and it made me feel really sad that she thinks it's a battle between me and her, whereas I am on her side and have jumped through hoops to try to get the curriculum amended to make life easier for her (withdrawing from swimming and going to private (expensive) lessons etc) C is no better. I spent half the day at her school last week and have an appointment with the SENCO tomorrow as they think she has 'learning difficulties' and I don't think this label helps them appreciate which areas she is having problems with, for example she didn't know what sort of PE she would be doing this week and that was enought to cause meltdown- a two minute conversation could have avoided that if they had been aware. I have an appointment this pm for T in connection with his dx, all I can say is thank goodness he doesn't cry before school too or I really would be having a nervous breakdown. When it gets to the stage that the girls start crying on a weekend in anticipation of Monday morning, I feel like I cannot cope. I feel like that too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mum22boys Report post Posted March 7, 2006 Hi Shona, Have some of these <'> <'> . Believe me I know how you feel although I just have the one school age child to try to get to school. It is now 9.35am and M still isn't at school. He laid in bed this morning shouting over and over 'i'm not going'. I resorted to ringing the head at 9.00 to let her know the problem, they seem to bury their heads in the sand with m's problems. She said just bring him in when he's ready. Oh and to finish it off nicely he has a support teacher today who he has never met before and then language group this afternoon. Have you spoken to your daughters school about the problem with PE. I think the schools struggle to understand the pressure our kids are under with school and change. M is worrying about the Easter production and i'm sure that is what is causing the problems at the moment. I know what you are saying about you getting all the hassle and school not seeing it. M does this also, appears to 'cope' with school and lets me have all the problems. Sorry i'm not much use in the advice line but you are not alone. mum22boys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted March 7, 2006 Shona, <'> <'> I've been there too. I remember my daughter being similarly distressed about school and PE in particular. It's so hard to see them go off in the morning in this state isn't it. I'm sure you're doing all you can to keep talking to the school and make them aware of this. A child can appear OK at school, conform to what's required of them and mask all the frustration and anxiety they feel. You're doing brilliantly already as a parent- don't feel guilty for not wanting to teach your children at home. Some people make this choice and do very well with it, but it isn't for everyone: I know I couldn't do it. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tez Report post Posted March 7, 2006 (edited) Hi Shona, <'> I've been here too so know how you feel. You're doing everything that you can to assist your daughter so have no reason to feel guilty about pursuing your University course and not home educating. I agree with Kathryn, keep making the school aware of the problems, and the fact that just because your daughter appears to cope at school doesn't mean to say that she is. A just internalised everything, but to anyone who took the time to know him the signs were obvious, as both the Deputy Head and the LSA agreed. Keep plugging away at the school to ensure that she's got the right support whilst there and the teachers know what to look for. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers and it's tough both on the child and the parents. Edited March 7, 2006 by Tez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunmum Report post Posted March 17, 2006 <'> Know how you feel.Shona <'> Today A is off school. He threw an eraser at another child... which he said sorry for . The teacher hauled him out of class, belowed at him then told him he would have to go to the `remove room`as he was up to mischief in class and on the bus. A who has asbergers is in main stream with 25hrs statement (of which he sees v little as his helpers are busy seeing to other non statemented kids!) He was broken hearted with these comments as he is a good boy in school and conforms to all the rules.. as they do ..but because he didnt know what mischief he had been up to and why his teacher had said that, he was devastated and sobbed uncontrollably and hardly slept last night.. I have to be honest if he was up to no good then the remove room is o.k....but to threaten it when the child or the parents have no idea what he has supposed to have done makes me so angry!I feel the teacher should have explained to him why he said this It was so difficult to get him up this am for school, he is 13 and a big lad to try and drag out of bed!! As it happened the bus didnt turn up so he stayed home anyway...i could have taken him in i spose, but didnt have the energy for another fight. its difficult enough to get him up and to school without an excuse!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted March 17, 2006 <'> <'> <'> Sunmum <'> <'> <'> Hope tomorrow's better Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BuntyB Report post Posted March 17, 2006 (edited) It doesn't get any easier! My eldest son split from his g/f and ended up back at our house- not that we have room...! I've been looking after their baby all day today and I feel exhausted with everyone's problems! L came home from school saying she has a lump on her head but can't remember how she got it. She went straight to bed which is not like her and is covered in a rash (allergy type) I don't know what she ate at school. Cati said she had been threatened with a beating not to tell about the bullying. I phoned the school and they said we can't do much on a friday, you'd better ring on Monday- feels like they couldn't care less!Nothing else had better go wrong... Edited March 17, 2006 by Shona Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
