...And so it goes!

[mr.ediebee]

When posting a reply from phasmid regarding the excellent advice given re exclusions. I was asked for the history of my boy, TS.

 

So here goes........

 

TS was born in 1998, no complications, just a normal delivery. Everything hunky dory! Very good sleeper but would wake up laughing and chuckling from about 3 months, we just thought it was cute, everyone thought it was cute. No experience of children, TS, being number one son!

 

At four months, TS, decided that sitting up would be fun, at six months crawling, at seven months cruising and on a stroke of being nine months old, walking independently.

 

Me and Ediebee just thought that this was normal, bit advanced for his age but hey ho! Just get on with it!

 

At ten months you could hold a conversation with him, and would have just fifteen minutes kip in the day if we were lucky, but sleep through the night and we thought, we'd rather have evenings together than him being up at all hours!

 

Had learnt the alphabet by 14 months and by eighteen months had progressed through shapes to hexagons.

 

They say that September 11th changed the world but none more so in this little bit of Englands green and pleasant land!

 

While the world watched the enfolding horror, me and Ediebee were sat head in hands, not by what was on the television, but by what his first nursery had told us, 'he's simply wild and we are going to arrange an assessment for him'. Not knowing much about much at this point, we agreed.

 

Then thinking about it, we both came to the conclusion that it couldn't be correct and phoned Early Years Ofsted who were most helpful. The manner and style of the language used was contrary to Ofsted, black mark number one, the 'we are going to get him assessed' was not a joint decision, black mark number two.

 

Needless to say TS didn't stay at that nursery long, luckily Ediebee was pregnant with number two son and was about to go on mat leave.

 

Problem solved, or so we thought!!

 

Next nursery was much the same for TS but this time he had been joined by JM, his little brother. I can't praise this nursery enough! The offer in charge was brilliant with us and the staff, keeping us all onside with regards to TS. JM still goes but will leave this July for school in September.

 

Now to TS at School!

 

His reception teacher was excellent, however he had only been at school for just under two weeks when they lost him! He ended up on a school bus more than two miles away from home. (Jamie Lavis anyone? Child murdered by Bus driver in Manchester?)

 

Within three weeks we had the Behavioural Support Team in (if your LEA provides such a team, befriend them, they are worth their weight in gold or at least the two Ladies who were to deal with us and TS)

 

Had the obligatory home visit to see if we were cr*p parents, good news, it turned out that we weren't! Every cloud!!?? Eh?!?

 

IEP put in place, failed at every turn, did poor TS.

 

Year one teacher was the school SENCO, one thought. good, maybe they will be able to help him. But talking to other parents that we know at the school, they were scathing with regards to the teacher, oh ###### we thought!

 

Year one was a trauma as we had to prepare to the holy cow of the 'statement'. But probably not at traumatic as it was for TS. The last term, the teacher washed their hands of him (it is a Catholic School, bit Pontus Pilot) and he was placed in another class. This helped, the teacher was a wiley old soul, been there, done that and got the t-shirt with a classroom assistant who had obviously read up on the difficulties that TS was having and pit in to practise all the advice we gave to the school.

 

As an aside, who knows your child the best? Who can give the best advice and help to other about your child that will help others help themselves and your child?

 

The worst thing about the situation is no matter what you say to the school, explaining behaviours and triggers and flash points before they happen, do they actually listen to you? They certainly hear you, but do they actually listen and understand. The Head is worst! Clearly just a head for the management role alone! My school, my staff and my concerns, etc etc etc!!!! We have given up all hope that the Head will ever understand!

 

LEA declined to issue a statement initally but as we pointed out, they didn't have all the information and report, missing were the SALT and EP reports. Once they were in, they generously gave TS 7.5 hrs. We appealed giving detailed reasons regarding health and safety and were given 20 hrs.

 

The only advice I can give is to be calm when talking about your childs and their needs to anyone at a LEA, be angry at the situation but don't lose it with the person on the other end of the phone, they are just following the guidelines set down by the nincompoops in your local town hall. THank them for their time and patience, especially if you have been a bit sharp. The Parent Partnership Officers are sent from heaven to help. Use them, take them to meetings at school, like we did, Head surprising quiet!

 

Now TS has a wonderful LSA and his year two teacher is very much onside, now pushing an increase in his hours to 25, fingers crossed?!?

 

TS is under the care of an excellent Psychiatrist who has a rather refreshing approach. He told us the tale of a girl who could play the piano, self taught, to near concert standard, and her school were concerned about her Geography, his answer? Why ?

 

TS is ASD/ADHD with the ASD being Aspergers, like me, like my big brother. The Force is strong within our family. I'm thirty seven and my brother is fifty one and we're okay

 

Mr Ediebee

[phasmid]

Hi Mr E,

 

you could be writting about Phas Jr in many places. Right up till nursery to be exact. The only difference being the language delay Phas Jr suffered up till the age 5 or so. The walking bit made me smile. In our case he crawled for a few days, got bored with that stood up and walked! He was our first too, so nothing to compare him with - Carol Vordermann taught him his letters (although we got told off for doing it!).

 

I am pleased that despite the initial problems things seem to have settled down for him at the moment. Long may that continue, hopefully with an increase in the level of support he's getting.

 

As to the question 'Who knows our child best?' I think we all know the answer to that one. It is even in the CoP, just a shame that those in charge of the 'system' don't acknowledge it anywhere nearly as often as they ought!

[mr.ediebee]

Well Phasmid

 

I was very impressed with your advice re exclusions.

 

TS has been 'informally' excluded twice now, but after I rather forcefully put it to the Head, that it was a training need for his staff and that he should address it, it hasn't happen since.

 

The mid day assistants are now getting an ASD Awareness Course run by TS's EP, so bit of a result!

 

Should really be the Head, but, you can't have everything, mustn't be greedy!

 

Mr Ediebee

[phasmid]

TS has been 'informally' excluded twice now, but after I rather forcefully put it to the Head, that it was a training need for his staff and that he should address it, it hasn't happen since.

 

I wonder why Glad to have been able to help you out.

[Zemanski]

TS sounds so like Com although his bent was maths - at 2 we were cutting his sandwiches into 32 pieces so he could calculate equivalent fractions!

 

Phas (along with others here) has helped us out loads with exclusions too, and with getting Com what is probably the best statement in Leeds - even the ASD advisor was impressed

 

our current troubles started in Com's second year in high school - where primaries at least try to listen high schools don't know the difference between reward and sanction and are wilfull in their ignorance for the most part.

 

stay strong

 

Zemanski

[mr.ediebee]

There's a point in the film called 'French Kiss' with Meg Ryan where she's crying in a phone box with her fist in the air, saying 'I will triumph!'

 

That's how me and Ediebee feel.