Letting off Steam

[zambrax]

Hi,

This is such a long story but i just have to tell someone before i burst...

I have always has a pritty normal life i have had lots of friends and was always very outgoing... then it hit 12 and that's when things started to go wrong (i live with my mum and we have always had a weird relationship) we don't get on very well, so anyway when i was 12 i started to doubt my sexuality and that's when i stopped going out (because i did not want anyone to pick up on this) so as the week and months went past i slowly lost lots of my friends...

 

Then i stopped going to school that's when things got worse because my mum said something was going to have to be done so she going others involved and becasue i stopped going to school and outside and did not want to face people my mum thought i had Aspergers.. so now they are trying to make set things in stone and ive me a lable off something i don't think i even have!

 

This is a very Homophobic place if people found out i was gay they would eat me alive (anyway i have acepted i am gay now) but i just can't tel anyone i am gay i feel like i too tell someone incase i don't have AS

 

Do you think i have As? (remember this is the short story) i am unsure what to do

[Viper]

Sorry to hear you have had so much trouble with who you are. From your brief story it doesn't sound like Aspergers syndrome but I think only an expert could make that diagnosis.

 

Have you read anything about AS, do you think you fit the criteria? You say yourself you stopped going out because you were afraid of your sexuality and until then you were very social. This would not fit a diagnosis of AS.

 

Have you seen a phsychologist? If you explained to him what you are feeling he would understand and try to help you. It would be in the strictest confidence and he would not be allowed to tel your mum.

 

Are you sure you would be treated badly if you came out? The times have changed so much that being gay is not viewed as badly as it used to be. You don't say how old you are now. Maybe you don't need to come out just yet, you could try getting back your life and see how you feel, no one can tell by looking at you that you are gay.

 

I don't know how else I can help you but speaking as a mother, your mum is probably very worried about you and only trying to do what she thinks is best.

 

I hope I have helped in some way. Talking about things is often the start to helping yourself, you have made the first move here. Feel free to PM me or post more messages here if you need to.

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi Zambrax,

 

My daughter has a friend from school who is gay, she goes to a co-educational school, he came out with it very openly I imagine he just had it out with his parents and possibly had a psychologist involved to make it easier.

 

I agree with Viper if you confided this to a Psychologist and got them to support you and help you talk to your parents perhaps the one you feel easier to talk to first, being your mum I imagine. <'>

 

Don't feel ashamed for who you are. My daughter and all her friends love this guy they think he is really cool. The most important thing is he is really honest with people and says 'this is who I am" he is really comfortable in his own skin. I have met him many times and I think he is adorable and any mum would be very proud of him.

 

I pray for you Zambrax that you get all the support you need, your life is very precious, and you need to enjoy each day. Not be ashamed of who you are. Celebrate who you are, science has proven, this is a genetic condition, not in the mind. Only you can know the difference.

 

Don't hide away break out, and trust that there are many people that will love and accept you for who you are, yeah maybe there will be the odd, sarcasm, but you have a thick skin and keep saying to yourself "I'll handle it"", if people judge you, then they were not friends worth having anyway, but just remember there are many people out there wanting to be your friend, when you are ready and more confident to come out.

 

Just be yourself, thats the best gift you can give yourself, be yourself.

 

All the best

 

Hailey <'> <'>

[zambrax]

Sorry to hear you have had so much trouble with who you are. From your brief story it doesn't sound like Aspergers syndrome but I think only an expert could make that diagnosis.

 

Have you read anything about AS, do you think you fit the criteria? You say yourself you stopped going out because you were afraid of your sexuality and until then you were very social. This would not fit a diagnosis of AS.

 

Have you seen a phsychologist? If you explained to him what you are feeling he would understand and try to help you. It would be in the strictest confidence and he would not be allowed to tel your mum.

 

Are you sure you would be treated badly if you came out? The times have changed so much that being gay is not viewed as badly as it used to be. You don't say how old you are now. Maybe you don't need to come out just yet, you could try getting back your life and see how you feel, no one can tell by looking at you that you are gay.

 

I don't know how else I can help you but speaking as a mother, your mum is probably very worried about you and only trying to do what she thinks is best.

 

I hope I have helped in some way. Talking about things is often the start to helping yourself, you have made the first move here. Feel free to PM me or post more messages here if you need to.

 

 

Hi, thanks for replying, i am seeing a phsychologist and they are trying to make a diagnosis but i keep trying to hold it up because i feel i need to tell them about the other problem (being gay) i am just soo stressed out i just don't know if can tell my mum, she is forever telling me to get a girlfriend which does not help...

 

i am 15 almost 16

 

Thanks for your nice replys

[Paula]

Youd be best contacting a helpline that deals with "gay " issues.Im sorry if ive worded it wrong but youll know what i mean.

 

 

I think youll find no one will give a hoot about youre sexuality.My daughter is 14 and theres openly gay boys in her school no one bats an eyelid and you know what the girls flock round them because they feel safe and enjoy there company much better than an over sexed teenage boy on the look out for a grope.

 

 

 

 

Id love either of my children no matter what as long as they were happy.Be open be proud.

 

Take care.

[Jill]

I don't think it SOUNDS like you have AS, but I'm not a professional & it's impossible to diagnose over the internet!! When you see the psychologist is it just you and them e.g. without your parents there? If it is then I would recommend you confide in the psychologist (if you are not comfortable talking to your parents) as he will understand & will keep it confidential.

 

However, as a mum (so you have to understand this is from a mum's P.O.V) I really recommend that you do talk to your parents.

 

I love my son to bits. Nothing he told me could stop me loving him. I wouldn't care a jot if he was gay, hetero or bi. As long as he has someone who loves him & he's happy, then I'll be happy.

 

Take care.