After swimming the teacher said .......

[linss]

Hi my son had his last swimming lesson today while they break for the holidays. He absolutely loves going but understandably he can't stay focussed for the whole lesson and will clown about , i know the teacher has been getting frustrated with him but on the whole and viewing him from an AS point of view i think he's done well there's been times when i've been proud of him and how he's tried.

 

What has upset me though is that i approached the teacher at the end to inquire whether he would be moving up and she said yes he would but then turned to him and said in a really sharp voice " but you will have to behave much better , you've behaved badly today you must try harder, it's not on" and so on ...

 

She is aware of his AS.

Since her saying this i've been feeling really annoyed and upset it didn't really register at first but know i've thought about it i feel really cross with her. By saying that she has shown no understanding of his difficulties and needs and where was a positive comment ! what about all the things he did do well.

 

Am i being over sensitive ????

 

I came away moaning at him and thinking why does he always have to be the worst behaved every club we go to . I should not have taken that out on him but when we mix with " society " that's how i end up feeling.

[baddad]

Hi linss -

While I can understand your concerns about the 'way' it may have been said, I don't see anything inherently wrong with verbally admonishing your son if he did behave badly, not try etc etc... I think autism demands different responses to difficult behaviour, but no response is not going to help him in any way whatsoever. yes to the positives, yes to a more 'understanding' response, but he also needs to know that the negative behaviours do have consequences. just a matter of getting the balance right! (and the day i do that with my son I'll put an advert in the times!)

 

L&P

 

BD

[on the edge]

That would upset me too!!. She clearly has no understanding of your sons needs and probably even thought that she would pull him up short with her comments. I would try to rise above it if I were you, but if it helps you could prepare yourself for a quick retort next time something like as " I am exremely proud of my son, even on difficult days. He has to work twice as hard as everyone else just to concentrate remember". But we do not owe anyone an explanation, but sometimes it is nice to feel as if at least you said something.

[CarerQuie]

The other thing to remember is that there is no margin for error with a water based activity.In general,all children need to try and follow the rules because of health and safety and the risk of drowning.xx

[BuntyB]

Have you thought about talking through whether it would be possible for him to have the correct amount of time in the water to allow for his attention span? My girls have just 20 minutes, then 10 minutes 'playtime' when they can clown around. However, I have done this by getting private lessons. It's quite expensive but they get the pool to themselves and I got the Family Fund to agree to pay for it.