coolbreeze

Hi darkshine, I know it's hard to get out of habitual patterns, what about reading before bed. I find it a great escape when my minds is in overdrive about what is happening in my life. The internet can be a real pain because it's easy to waste time late at night, it's kind of overstimulating when I just go on to check my mail I end up checking other sites and my mind goes off on a tangent checking ebay, holidays, film ratings,discount voucher sites etc. Somewhere on here you have said you are on meds, these may not be helping with your sleep patterns changing the time of day you take them may make things better. My daughter takes melatonin and though I wish she didn't have to it works well, there are two kinds of sleep problems people who can't get off to sleep but sleep soundly when they do and those who constantly wake during the night. Melatonin works for the former as there is a window, once that is closed the melatonin has no affect. It's about 2 hours for my daughter but probably varies from person to person.

Hi Darkshine It sounds like you have some degree of depression which maybe for many reasons. We don't know about your circumstances but I am sure I read that you were diagnosed this year. There will be a period of accepting and coming to terms, where you are bound to be full of questions and thoughts. In a perfect world some form of CBT would be useful, have you tried this? I know it is not always easy to get on surgery budgets etc, if you are feeling like this go to the GP and don't be fobbed of change if you have to. When I joined the forum I read your post about wanting to post a post. From my understanding you were anxious whether anyone would reply. Well I thought this the other day how active and participating on the forum you are now. You have come across confident, expressed your opinions but been very understanding and diplomatic of how others will regard your posts. Put in some great humour and I for one am not seeing a "worthless person". xx

Thanks sally44 for all your advice, my daughter has been through assessment for nearly 2 years and has been diagnosed,I am not going to resist diagnosis as I recognize that she has difficulties. I went to the meeting following the diagnosis and they feel it is the social interaction side of things that she struggles with. The school have not been any help at all, and it is getting me down I know there will be a meeting next term where the assessment team will advise the school but at the momment I don't have much faith that they will implement any recommendations. Not once this school year has the head approached me to ask how my daughter is doing or discussed the assessment (she is the SENCO). The school have been aware for a month that she has a diagnosis and nobody has mentioned anything. This is how the school have handled it so far... I had 2 CAF meetings about 18 months ago The head arrived to the first saying the paediatrician had been in to assess my daughter that week, I spoke to the paediatrician that day as I had an appointment, yes she had visited the school but not to see my daughter. The second meeting ....in the morning the class teacher (who has now left the school and who first recognised my daughters problems) said I will see you at the meeting this afternoon. She didn't turn up and no apologies were made. I have talked with the the present class teacher about my daughters problems and how unhappy she is countless times, nobody plays with her at playtime etc, how difficult it is every morning getting her in to school ... hairbrushing, teeth cleaning even finding a pair of socks that fit perfectly as alot get thrown off in temper because the seams hurt. The head said she would give my daughter something out of her special box evey week (Friday) my daughter was there. Well Friday arrived and my daughter came home crying guess what 'nothing from the box'. Monday arrived the same, Tuesday morning my partner had to remind the head and after that, nothing more has been said. The only reference to my daughter was about 2 months ago when the head took me into her room on the eve of ofsted to say that my daughter had been late 3 mornings in the last few weeks, (literally by 5 mins only) she quite aggressively said that the LEA would be on my back if it continued. At the momment I am strongly considering moving her, this attitude and lack of support is awful, but my fears are how would my daughter handle this. People say it is the diagnosis that is hard to fight for, to me it is the attitude and lack of support from school that is the big issue. I am a qualified teacher myself, with or without diagnosis any child that is unhappy at school should be supported and encouraged. Why haven't they set up a teacher parent contract and reward system.. etc, why haven't they set up a nuture group ?? Why isn't she at the very least on school action ??? All of which I have suggested to the assessment team to bring up in September. I have bitten my tongue so much I'm surprised it hasn't dropped off, I have been waiting for the diagnosis hoping things would change but they haven't

Thanks baddad for taking the time to reply. I understand where you are coming from totally, in my mind can I be sure.... is some of her behaviour the behaviour of a strong willed child testing the boundries or is it a result of 'a condition' an inability to cope with anger and frustrations? So far I have managed to tell her that we see the assessment team because of sleep and other issues like how upset she gets over friendships at school. I have not talked about ASD as I wonder how it will affect her behaviour and the behaviour of other people towards her as you have said yourself. I'm going to carry on as normal, routines sanctions and rewards etc and see how things evolve. I have a meeting today to discuss the diagnosis with the professionals involved, so it will be interesting to see why they have reached the conclusion to diagnose. Thanks again for your advice.

Hi I'm quite new to the forum, my daughter has been diagnosed with ASD recently. I am now wondering whether I have done the right thing. In truth her behaviour was picked up at school which led to a health visitor observing her and referring her. The thing is I think she may be on the cusp, sensory problems, hair brushing, teeth cleaning , sleep difficulties and problems with social interaction etc etc. On the whole she is different very young emotionally but wise beyond her years in other ways. She can play okay in exclusive relationships but often can't cope with multiple friendships if they show preference for each other, turn taking, etc. The thing is she is pretty bright but definately underachieving at school. I suppose I am having a wobble, what if she grows out of this ???? I find the whole assessment very vague can an umbrella of symptoms really be put under such a definate diagnosis. Hopefully I will get some answers from the report. I'm not in denial at all but it is such a big thing for a parent. There are people on here that are not picked up until way into adulhood, equally are there children that are being misdiagnosed ? Am I just being over anxious and a bit paranoid ?

daydream

Hi Lack of concentration & eye contact, appearing to be elsewhere when she spoke on a one to one basis, not being tuned in. Off doing her own little thing when say the class were listening to story, and not realising it was inappropriate. I think some teachers are more in tune, sadly this teacher has left. I also think classrooms are more busy with less sit down activities when they start school, children blend into the melee a bit more. The gap in emotional development progression compared to peers has widened. Academically she is bright but this is hindered by difficulties in other areas and lack of understanding sadly by the school (new head mainly who is the SENCO !) . Yes it does take time but the professionals have to make a decision and they need to monitor development over time to ensure it's not just a phase. Good luck <'>

Hi SJB1 my daughter has just been diagnosed (8 yrs). It was between 2-3 when I first thought there were differences. Though I often asked school in Reception and year 1 they said she was fine. Then when she started in yr 2 the teacher called me in after 2 weeks of term saying she had concerns. The health visitor came for a school visit and she was referred. It's natural to question whether you are doing the right thing, I still do everyday. I really don't want this diagnosis but know to allow others to understand and help my daughter I have to accept it. BTW she was too interested in the toys and yes the interesting looking medical equipment to listen into what was said at the initial appointment.

Thanks for the welcome again, I seem to be reading alot on here but don't yet feel I know enough to advise. Yes it is good that young ones are being picked up on. I worked in primary ed as a teacher in the late eighties and nineties we were trained to recognise ADHD but nothing for ASD, it only ever cropped up in reference to the MMR. I think that the whole process of diagnosis for my daughter has been so 'abstract' and 'woolly'. I think the goal posts are shifting all the time. Hard to conceive when something solid or definate would be nice. I can understand therefore why adults are so frustrated after being diagnosed recently after years of thinking and knowing they are different but not quite understanding why. Yes you are probably right Philipo our greatest innovaters and pioneers were perhaps of this ilk. It is tough as a parent, child or adult but this world would be a dull place if all conformed to the norm.

thanks everyone Keimeren yes it is daunting I suppose we will just have to wait and see what support we get, as with all things it is abit of a post code lottery

Hi just wanted to say hello, I'm Kathryn from North Yorkshire My daughter whose eight has been assessed for 2 years and has been diagnosed with ASD recently. Still in that strange stage of bewilderment. Which is strange in itself because the recognition of my daughters difficulties has been what I have wished for. Looks a great site though with lots of ideas and support. Thankyou x