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i hate my father


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#1 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 18 October 2014 - 03:45 AM

he is Asperger's,

 

yet he deigns it.

 

yet to me, it's so obvious the Asperger's curse I have came from him, and from his dad, and probably his dad's  dad :-(

 

(I sometimes wish they hadn't bred!)

 

I have never bred.. I never want to pass this on :-(

 

 but my father is completely useless and valueless. he is completely inhuman.

 

...and maybe my kids think the same about me.

 

why the hell did my father bred knowing he came from an up line of that we have?

 

:-(

 

anyone else feel the same? :-(



#2 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 18 October 2014 - 03:54 AM

I sometimes wish I had never been born.

 

and yet my dad must of known he'd pass this on to me. why did he do that?

 

he must of known he wasn't right, and yet he bred :-(

 

what a selfish bar steward.

 

I would never do that.



#3 Mihaela

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Posted 18 October 2014 - 05:57 AM

I'm sorry to hear this.  Few people think about what they may be passing on when they decide to have children - which seems understandable to me.  So much in life is a matter of chance. 

I was lucky for I had very caring, loving parents.  I suspect my mother and her own mother might have had AS, but I don't blame her for passing it on to me.  I try to be very positive about my AS.  I don't see it as a curse at all, but I do see that the problems lie in the way others see me. I see much of what the NT world takes for granted as highly dysfunctional, hypocritical, unjust, unethical, destructive, etc.

 

We all have our weaknesses (not just Aspies).  I have many AS-related weaknesses (sensory issues, panic attacks, emotionally fragile, poor executive function, etc.) but I'm happy to accept that I can only change them slowly, if at all, and feel that my AS-related strengths far outweigh them.  I think that if you seek and develop your strengths - such as special interests and abilities, you'll feel a lot better about yourself.  The less we dwell on our weaknesses and vulnerabilities the better.  That doesn't mean that we ignore them, for we must still work to improve them as far as we can, and to make sure that others accept them just as we do ourselves.



#4 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 20 October 2014 - 11:46 PM

hi again nihaela,

 

i was quite glad to log on and read your compassionate understanding reply.

 

i typed that stuff the other day in a moment of despair, and the next morning instantly regretted it.

 

(i figured I'd just be instantly banned from the site for saying stuff like that!)

 

now it's a new day, and the stimulus for me saying that comment has abated, i regret the way i phrased it.

 

.....and i respect the site for leaving it up :-)

 

i think i just said  it because i'd had a bad couple of "social" days, where I'd failed, and failed, and failed again :-(

 

but now i've had a couple of good days, when i've done good things, and people (in real life) are valuing me, i don't feel so down on myself, so don't wish i wasn't born :-(

 

ty for plugging in the reply there! it's much appreciated.

 

but just so you know, since you share a lot of your personal stuff on here,

 

my father is inhuman. he's a monster. he's very good at practical stuff, but when it comes to being a dad emotionally, he's "zero".

 

my mum's wonderful though. she's the best mum ever.

 

all the best.



#5 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 21 October 2014 - 12:11 AM

forgive my last post. which was all about "me"

 

it might of seemed i was just selecting out out the bits i was interested in, and not responding to your bits.

 

i assure you it weren't like that.

 

i give you my word i read and processed everything you said. 

 

all the best



#6 dotmarsdotcom

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Posted 26 October 2014 - 12:46 AM

warning to potential other replies.

 

this thread is exposed on google search. i'd suggest not replying to it anymore.



#7 stuffed

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 12:28 AM

My parent is dead, it was a relief to be honest

#8 Mr Salvador

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Posted 09 June 2015 - 05:23 PM

warning to potential other replies.

 

this thread is exposed on google search. i'd suggest not replying to it anymore.

I think most subjects come up on google searches,

 

try not to be so angry and concentrate on the things you do well. my dad is dead too, he was a wrong'en. good riddance



#9 trekster

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 03:42 PM

Mine was never a proper father either. My mother is not much better. She uses emotional blackmail to try and control people.




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