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ktululady

Son locks himself in his room

3 posts in this topic

I am a single parent with a two sons 17 and 19. The 19 year old has ADHD and Asperger's. We have had problems through the years but nothing like this. He tried college but didn't cope with it, so he left in January.


He tells me he will do things and agrees to me signing him up just to shut me up and then on the day he refuses to go. He said he would start college again this September but didn't, said he would apply for jobs, he would go to an Austim employment workshop, he would go to an Asperger's social group, he didn't do any of them.


I don't put to much pressure on him now as it just winds him up, but he did agree to do chores so he can get Internet access, but I come home from work at 1pm and he is still in bed and then he does nothing all day. He stays in his room, reading, or playing an off-line game. He refuses to talk to me most of the time, just completely ignores me when I speak to him. He blocks his bedroom door with furniture so I can't get in.


He has no life which makes me sad and I hate the way he is being so rude and disrespectful to me and I don't know what to do about it.

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My son was like this. We had gone through extensive counselling and support. One day he woke up and said I want to join the army. I learned to step back and allow him to make decisions. I bought him some hand weight's anything that encourages personal fitness and played music like high energy. This motivated my boy to exercise hard, daily.

 

There was a couple of year's I was resigned to the fact the more I tried to help my son, the deeper reclusive he became. Je told me when he broke this cycle. That he was pleased I let him sort through his feelings. Talking with a counsellor gave him answers but then he hibernated for two years.

 

One day he said I will try Network Administration at college. He self taught himself Linux. He shaved all his hair off. When my son completed his Diploma a few year's later. The teacher put a picture of Uncle Fester from the Adam's family and stuck it on the office door. My sons name, his brightest student. Uncle Fester with a globe in his mouth. My son grew his hair back. Got a job and has been there for three years. He is happy in his job, and now pleased he had that time out. Sitting around at home. He gained 40 kilos'. My son said he learned how to get himself out of the doldrums. An important lesson for him. He did it.

 

Patience is a virtue.

 

Best wishes for you both.

 

Mia

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Hello,

 

My son is just coming out of a phase where he hid from anyone outside the family and ceased to engage with any purposeful activity. We were going through a very stressful time and his behaviour was definitely linked to he poor mental health.Now, at least he goes out with his outreach worker and he visits a shop once a day. However, the reclusive and isolating behaviour is not only debilitating for my osn, but it has , at times, rendered me housebound.

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