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being physically close to someone


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#1 ajl

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Posted 28 December 2015 - 08:26 PM

I was wondering if anyone else struggles with being touched / having someone too close to you.

I have a lovely boyfriend but I hate it when he touches or strokes me, I find myself thinking please just don't touch me. I hate being touched or hugged by anyone and was wondering if it was a me thing or an AS thing.

Having have to have shared a bed with him for three nights I have had not been able to sleep and am totally exhausted.

I also hate it when people kiss me, I feel suffocated and just want to get as far away as possible, even if I like and know that person.

 

Is there a way of dealing with it all. I used to be able to tolerate the above but since my diagnosis this year my head doesn't seem to think of anything other than why should I struggle when its not me is my aspergers.



#2 Mihaela

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Posted 29 December 2015 - 02:20 PM

It really is very much an Aspie thing.  I'm the same, and so is my best friend, and I know others too who don't like it.  We're asexual too and I'm sure our sensory issues have a lot to do with that.  I tolerate hugs but I don't enjoy them, especially tight, long ones!  It's a relief when they're over with.  As for kissing -  eurrrgh!   :o



#3 trekster

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Posted 01 January 2016 - 02:35 PM

There are books on aspergers and sensory issues which might be able to help.

#4 templek

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Posted 17 May 2016 - 09:36 AM

I have similar problem. In my own family we rarely hug each other when we meet. I recall at my twin brother's funeral I broke down and my sister's didn't know how to console me we were not used to bodily contact, or maybe they felt I wasnt?

Strange thing my ex girlfriend in my last relationship ten years ago asked me rec bt key in an email, on our first night together, the next day I hardly said a word or touched her. She found that strange and rude and felt like I did really like her. I had no recollection. She also said she found it weird sharing same bed with a man and never getting intimate in over two years.




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